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You’re the one that stated “week long wedding celebration”. If you’re having activities to do for this week long celebration – you are dictating it. Maybe you’ll be cool with people missing shit – but you’re still saying here’s 7 days of wedding activities please come!
I get that he’s emotionally abusive, but telling her he can’t come because of what he does to her does nothing but set her up to defend him. It’s just how abusive relationships work, except when someone’s on the cusp of leaving anyways and it doesn’t sound like she is based on your previous convos. That’s why I said if it’s something objective and bad against you, your husband, or another guest you can stand on that, but just saying “I don’t want to see him treat you like shit on my wedding” will be met with nothing but excusing what he’s done in the past and how he’s not like that now and you have nothing to be worried about. It just will. And likely roll into a blowup of her not coming at all and maybe cutting you off.
How many of the mutual friends going are going solo? No plus one, just completely solo? Is one a friend her bf wouldn’t lose his shit over if she split a hotel room and thus didn’t cost her twice as much as if her bf went?