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Tell her you know everything about the affair and that you are devastated she would lie and manipulate you like that and tell her to never contact you again.
Tell her you know everything about the affair and that you are devastated she would lie and manipulate you like that and tell her to never contact you again.
Sorry, but this was kind of inevitable.
Your whole post is a series of “WTF?” moments.
You made some exceptionally bad decisions, and now, here you are, laying in the bed you made. How did you ever think this wasn't going to crash and burn?
My only advice is to have an exit plan, ready, for when he tells you he is done. Because it's going to happen. It's just a matter of time.
Yes it is emotionally abusive.
And if this is how you deal with an argument, I seriously doubt you will still be married at age 30.
I would not call it emotionally abusive, but I would call it petty.
Either you keep setting yourself on fire to keep yourself warm, or you realize she's an adult woman who needs to sort out her own issues, and that she'll never get better while you keep enabling her.
She will be very, very sad when you break up, but it could very well be the best thing that could have ever happened to her.
So flirting with other people while in a relationship is okay with you as long as no sex occurs?
Is it possible to look into tying your tubes? Considering you never want to be pregnant, it might be another option just in case condoms or a vasectomy fail.
He doesn’t want to address the issue or have a conversation because he’s getting his way. He’s made it clear he’s not marrying you so you need to make some hot choices about the future of the relationship. I think you’re wasting your time with him if you want marriage and kids because you’re unlikely to get it from your current boyfriend. The longer you let this go on the harder it’s going to be to end it.
She waited until the convention was over. No still her timing wasn’t perfect. And if someone really needs space from a girlfriend and stay away for their birthday then there’s that. Also not everyone makes a national holiday out of a birthday and plan months in advance. It sounds like she learned of it after it was too late to get reasonable travel rates. Planning a birthday a month in advance, absent of knowledge of travel plans, is quite common.
Not all men are like this. The men in my life would never behave like this or associate themselves with people who behave this way.
What you feel is that Essentially he is not ‘getting you’. This is one of your biggest values and biggest priorities – to have your partner not understand…. I dunno it’s more than frustrating. I also dated someone like this. I’m still unsure about the damage it caused me
But I feel like that is the life I will be relegated to if I stay where I am.
The only thing here that is going to impact your choices and life going forward is your child and your obligation to them. So spending the next two years travelling the world, probably not going to happen if you want to keep up said obligations.
If you're unhappy in marriage it's going to show, probably has already and if not, it will in the future. Even if she's happy with the status quo, surely she must know that this isn't all white picket fences and living the happily married dream. She may be avoiding the question in her head, perhaps you pulling the trigger would be that “y'know what, fair enough” moment.
Reality is, you can't change how you feel. You can give things time, you can try things etc… but you can't just go “oh wait, now I'm back in love because I willed it.” That'd be the same magical thinking that got you into this mess in the first place, so yeah, impossible to be an asshole for that.
The only way you can mess up is how you navigate it going forward. Hopefully, you're not too far from being on the same page so aiming for the most amicable split possible between you both is best.
lol i know, i gotta just not be a little bitch about it.
JFC. OP is guilty as hell. He should address why he's trying to get young girls to DM him on here, but we all know why.
Yeah, there’s nothing incestuous about watching your child have sex…
What a jerk.
Don’t give in to his selfish pressure. He does not need sex. He might want it, but he doesn’t need it.
Please dump him and find someone who respects your boundaries.
I wish my dad was like this too, but instead he was the one who started the abuser list.
Your dad was just unprofessional. It’s one thing to talk about what you’re working on generally, but proprietary and confidential with specifics? Nah. Do you think it would be ok if a doctor or psychiatrist divulged patient info to their spouse?
In my culture, the couple pays for their own wedding, but then they usually receive gifts and money from most guests, so a portion of the cost is recuperated.
If he runs through all your money and it fails, wouldn’t you be doomed anyway? He’s made all the bad decisions and insists on dragging you financially into them. He doesn’t listen to you about what you want to spend your money on.
That doesn’t seem a good basis for the future and how he makes major decisions. I would get yourself out of this situation quickly before you’re ruined.
I can’t imagine how you’re paying all of it.
You’re 29, please tell me this is fake and you know what to do smh
I'm so sorry, sounds like he's not ready for therapy.
My mom remarried 3 years after I got married. Legally and genetically, I could marry one of my step brothers. Anyone who is judging you isn’t worth listening to.
Answer: you DONT forgive him. you DO report it to the police. OP, even if you don’t feel “raped”, he will absolutely do this again to another women who will likely feel differently. Stop him now.
There's no magical cure that can make you feel better about what happened. Unfortunately, you need to be honest with yourself if you can get over it or not. Otherwise, you're wasting both of your times.
You're right. He did nothing wrong. That doesn't mean it's going to hurt any less. You do need to remind yourself that you two were broken up. I'm guessing you broke up with him too.
This just sounds like more signs things aren't going to work out long term between you two. You can keep trying to make it work, but you've already broken up twice due to his drinking.
It sounds as if you guys have multiple problems. So don't just think its about getting over that. You need to take it as a whole and consider it.
Also, communicate with him. Be honest that you realized you feel resentful for what he did when you two were not together but that you're trying to work on it.
Yea, this is what I came to ask.
I think it's more like younger women are easier to manipulate
OP,
My wife and I do not keep secrets from each other no matter how painful they may be. What you need to do is end the relationship, she is lying to you and hiding things, if you ever found out what she is truly doing you might do something dreadful. Just cut the strings and move on and find someone better for you.
Unless you knew each other for a long time before you started dating five months ago, you need to realize: There is no “typically” in a five-month relationship. There is “how things felt in the first [X months or whatever],” and there's “how things have felt later on, and currently.” And in my experience, people tend to reveal more of their true personalities as time goes on, as opposed to putting on new masks.
So please don't be one of the people who spends a very long time with the wrong partner, trying to find the magic words to turn them back into their “real self” they appeared to be at the beginning of the relationship.
Sounds like sense this is your first relationship you’ve never dealt with these types of feelings. You’re driving yourself crazy thinking about something that has no affect on your relationship at all, but it clearly affects your mental health. In that case you should honestly talk to a therapist because there is nothing she can even do to help you with this. And you shouldn’t even ATTEMPT to expect her to help you with this feeling other than comfort you of course but don’t put her in a position to feel bad about having a life before you.
Stop explaining to him. You’re teaching him how to get away with abuse. You need to trust yourself. You saw what happened. Believe yourself and put your safety first.
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Yes the feelings you are feeling before you even really know this person make me believe that you over idolize this person and any relationship would be a disaster. That being said you are 20 go for it.
She throws one drink in his face
He literally almost murders her
“you're both abusers!!!”
Shut the fuck up ?
Wait, so she is wearing this toy everywhere, so like it’s vibrating panties, or a remote control toy?
If yes, then ask to see her phone – the apps those toys keep track of WHO is controlling it – local or remote, and sorry but if remote she’s cheating on you