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Short of physically forcing you, she didn't make you do anything; you made a choice to give up whatever it is and now you regret it. Weaponizing your regret every time you have an argument is a form of emotional abuse.
That is wrong wrong wrong.. more like grooming… wrong wrong wrong.. you need to drop this guy like a bad habit. Giving porn to children is wrong.. no no no.. your child has done nothing wrong. You need to evict this guy or move out with your kid. This can damage him for his ENTIRE life… imagine this phone call “Hello Ms so and so, we need you to come to the Jr./Middle school… we need to discuss something”. You arrive… Hello Mrs. so and so, your son apparently attempted to touch or did or pulled on something or said this or that or whatever”. you flash back, just like in the movies… OMG.. Bob!! Bob was showing him Step this or that porn or cheer porn or whatever”…
Noo, please no.. this has to stop… addiction is bad, imagine if your son was addicted to drugs.. nearly the same thing.
Your life can't revolve arround one person It's not good, also he isn't your boyfriend anymore take distance because doubt is going to be there and it will make you feel bad.
I think this is a good chance to meet new people and have fun, you are quite young.
To me he sounds like someone that probably has a completely different social sphere/persona on-line than anybody in his small circle irl knows about. It could be very possible he’s cat fishing people and pretending to be someone he’s not by trying to keep his personal life so completely separate from his social media one. Does he have a partner irl? Maybe he is cheating on them or doesn’t want them to find out who he’s talking to. Either way it doesn’t sound like he’s going to tell you if he acts so weird and secretive about it around you, and is constantly being inconsistent and vague with details.
Thanks you’re right
Are you a male?
Sean and I aren’t together, it’s not like that
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Trust him to do what?
You have zero commitment. He’s still free to date others. That’s not cheating, just disappointing for you. The whole point of a commitment to be a serious BF/GF is when he’s saying he won’t see others.
It sounds like he likes you. You need to go through the dating process to know if the relationship can work.
It's not that you're talking about your ex. It's the way your ex still influences the way you treat men generally, and, in particular, the new guy. This is what he's feeling from you.
You don’t need to understand the ‘female point of view’ you need to listen to your girlfriend, a real life woman who is communicating what she will and won’t tolerate.
She has told you it upsets her. Do you want to upset her? Will the opinions of a group of women who are not your girlfriend change your answer?
How often do you have free time?
Independent time AND quality time with your partner are both important and at the moment, it seems like you want more independent time. Which doesn't bode well for a relationship really (unless you're with someone who also enjoys their own company). From the sounds of your post, it seems like you enjoy your own company more than you enjoy hers and that's not great.
Can you not have, say one free time day with just you alone and then the next, completely with her?
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You're right. When I think about the inverse situation, I'd REALLY want someone to stop being friends with me if they didn't vibe with me.
Thank you, I appreciate it these are good questions I have to be certain with.
Avoid him entirely imo.
Its not your fault and he's the screwed-up one here, but keeping quiet and telling half stories wasn't the right move. When you try and tell the whole truth now, he and his mom would make it a “your word vs his” kind of situation. I'd still suggest telling your friends, and letting the cards fall where they may. Hopefully, you've got good friends who will recognize that your story isn't changing, it's growing as you become less fearful.
You shouldn't be made to keep his secrets.
Huge red flag. And while the age gap is not huge, the gap within the ages you both are is.
You sister is probably toxic anyway, given how she treats other people you are better off without her in your life.
She has been trying for 20 years. Dear god man.
If you on-line your life she does not get to continue to use you. Can you tell us why your father can not help with your brother? Can you tell us why your father is not her support? She does not want you to change your roll as her emotional support and she is going to work nude to get you to get back in line with her parentifcation if you!
If “keeping the peace” requires you to betray yourself, I am pretty sure that is not peace and I am pretty sure it is not worth keeping.
Perhaps it is time to try: “I am okay with your disappointment in me” Rachael Mary Stafford
It’s doesn’t always have to be just a “you” problem so don’t put yourself down too much. Sometimes it’s a relationship issue and you work on it together
Yeah I know it just doesn’t seem right to say at all that’s why I came here instead and thank you for sharing your thoughts, you don’t know you have an addiction until someone points it out so thank you
“I don't date coworkers.” Rinse and repeat as necessary.
He knows more or less everything. We had a conversation last week about how I think my life would be easier if we weren't together and he agreed. I think he said something along the lines of “and when she (our daughter) is at my house my mum can watch her so I can play games. Oh well you're stuck with me now.” And I was so angry I walked out.
I'd be willing to go to therapy but I'm certain he won't if you're thinning of couples therapy. I don't think he can see how much I've been hurt by all this, no matter how much we talk in over, calm, crying or in anger.
Just chill hun. Give it some time and see what happens.
She's probably BPD and you should stay far far away unless you want to sign yourself away to years of perpetual unbearable trauma you'll probably never heal from.
Yeah, being home for 6 hours a day for 6 months in a row… is he walking in the door, scamming to get laid, then passing out? Or is he living elsewhere for that time? Regardless, I would not only feel super disconnected, but I would also be incredibly overwhelmed and need a large break from single-momming it for 6 months straight, too.
If she never gets a chance to take a break and be romanced, you can expect your dick to remain dry outside of the resentment-bone she throws your way when your whining gets too irritating for her.
If he asks again, say OK and leave to do something fun.
Wait she is 13 years older, and was in her 30s when it happened? Are you saying your husband was an adult when he slept with his sister?
This whole comment section is pretty much screaming TOXIC MASCULINITY.
As if every guy would jump and fight a stranger for such thing. From OP edit you can clearly see he in fact did something just not anything violent.
For real, I can't count the time while in clubs or similar my exes got touched without consent and all. What I am suppose to do? Fucking fight anybody? I can intimidate people but I am not willing to end up in a police station or in a hospital because of a slap on the ass. Beside that all the guys talking though would probably end up with a black eye and their fedora on the ground.
It's not an excuse he tried to kill you, you need to break up and cut contact with hik asap and think about talking to the police.
If you stay with this guy then this is just the beginning of his abuse
With the amount of detail you wrote using a throw away is pointless, he'd know it was you in a heartbeat. You actually sound insufferable. He didn't propse because he wanted to, he did it because you were hassling him. Bring up marriage early and being ready to propose are not even in the same ballpark.
Wel there is also a gap between your results and his. He could have already taken the medicine for it and then just showed you the 2nd test…
Sure sounds like him. ???
The best revenge you could hope for is to literally never talk to him again. Block his number, social media, everything—-and then completely move on with your life.
The dudes a loser. And when he calms down and tried to pull you back in, I genuinely hope you’ve taken this advice and he discovers that not only is it too late to take back that sort of behavior, but that he has absolutely no way to ever contact you again.
Move on. Find a new gf, or enjoy being single. She’s told you what is important to her, believe her.
Your roommate is a child. She got her wisdom teeth removed, what are you even doing watching over her. Is she making you cook food she can eat too?
My husband never yells at me. We’ve been together for 18 years, married for 12 and he’s maybe yelled at me once in that entire time.
I would move out as quickly as possible and cease all contact.
He is/was actually a very sweet man
I'm sorry but no. He's a misogynist who as soon as you behaved in a way he didn't like did everything he can think of to cut you down and undermine your confidence. Sweet people don't do that.
He has red flags all over!
Don't be with her? You clearly aren't mature enough for a commitment if you so easily cheated in the first place.
Be single for a while, get ready to be a dad and focus on yourself, you really need to right now.
Dads can have post partum depression as well! Please find a therapist
Wow wow, this is an excellent response and really highlights how gifting should be interpreted. I agree, it hurts a bit in the moment but on further thinking about it and coming across comments like yours and many others, one realises that it's just to make someone happy and the thought behind it more than the actual gift
Keep communicating your thoughts on this and how it makes you feel to him. If he is showing no signs of improvement, then that means it really doesn't give a shit about you, and then you should leave him.
Really? I mean I can understand a person who is a victim not wanting to talk about it, or for others to mention. This guy didn’t even know what it was.
I wouldn’t even keep things civil. Straight NC. No more phone calls “for hours.” There’s no way to explain what she did, other than to make excuses.
This is a lot of work to be a parent to a toddler let alone deal with a functioning human.
She mentioned “miscarriage” in one of these replies. Can you imagine considering a child with this… person?
Seems like a troll post but if real… WTF…
I could be out with Scarlett Johansson and being seduced into believing she'd leave her husband but if she was smeared in shit I'd run for the hills. How do you even pretend that this is normal? I thought Europe was a more modern place? Is she from some small area where shitting yourself and leaving shit stains is just something that happens???