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But yours totally aren’t!
What ???? I cuddle with my babies I love them this is strange sounds like you need therapy My daughter has been upset middle of the night I asked her to lay beside me so she won’t be so scared alone She cried I asked what’s wrong she wants to sleep in her bed she’s a big girl now That’s fine baby I’m sorry I’ll tuck you in I just thought you feel better laying beside or around me so you wouldn’t be scared I mean I don’t force it of course but I think it’s odd this kind of thing would cross someone’s mind
Tell him that you are going to get tested for STD'S, and see how he responds.
There's definitely a lot to unpack here and I 100% do not have all the answers. My initial thought is that while it is very easy to think “I was young and dumb then”/”I was just looking for security” etc… it does sound like you and your partner really had a connection. I think it's worth exploring reviving that connection now that you have more mental and physical space at home. You 2 need to rediscover your relationship for you to know if there's something still there ot not.
Ultimately it's your decision of course, but it feels like it also may be an excellent chance to start fresh a bit, get to know each other again, go on dates etc… and then you will know the answer to whether you are really compatible or if you were both seeking solace from similar situations and thay became a catalyst.
I also think too much weight is put on age in relationships and in general. I know 20 year Olds more emotionally mature than more 60 years Olds and so on…
That ain't friendship, that's being an orbiter. I'm a man and have male best friends, and guess what I'm not or ever have been in love with any of them. That's friendship.
You're really going to have to understand and reflect on your own intent and agenda you have with this “friendship” and see what it is you want and need, instead of whatever mental charade you have going on.
If you wanted to date her, why not just date her? The person your lying to isn't just her, it's yourself. Treat yourself better than this man.
good idea. seems controlling & can’t properly communicate like an adult. also, physical abuse is where you should always draw the line and never ever tolerate.
I mean he obviously open to cheating, be a good person and save her from the drama and heartbreak later on. He don’t need to be in a relationship. Also gives a pretty great vindictive effect, that’ll help with your closure. My toxic ass roots on your ex and her “friend” fucking around in the near future?
Worse thing is that OP said that if she knew his ex would drive her home, she would have taken a day off work to help him.
Well depends on the person for some 2 shots and 1 drink might be too much, others might be okay drunk on 8 shots and 2 drinks etc. People’s alcohol tolerance differs.
I also believe that many people are reading over the fact that she said they shared the 3 drinks making it 5 shots and maybe 1.5 drinks per person (also have u ever had a drink at a bar? The amount of alcohol they usually put in there at least where I’m at is next to nothing)
This is something I’m learning! I think what’s very telling is how a partner reacts if you bring up a concern. My partner is very kind and reassuring and eager to settle my worries. But my ex would be very defensive and imply I am crazy, he obviously cheated many times I later found out.
I've already been upset a few times when he's done this and he acted like I was overreacting and that artists use other art as references or inspiration all the time.
Sure, that may be true. But that doesn't mean you aren't allowed to feel how you do, and he doesn't get to decide how you feel.
He can just as easily use someone else's art as references or inspiration, it doesn't have to be yours.
It's funny how breaks are always a break up with terms. “Look, I don't want to be with you for a bit, so we won't be together. At the same time, you should not sleep with anyone and still be faithful to me even though we are certainly, definitely, totally NOT together. We aren't together, but don't see anyone else because that'll upset me.”
Why even bother with a break? It's not a break if you still have constraints that will affect you when the break is over.
I am not sure if I understand correctly but as far as I know we both feel being apart is worst case scenario
You know who knew what's best for Rose? Her mother. Trust her.
Totally right. I read this story and rolled my eyes back into my brain thinking “this is so British of them”. I would even narrow it down and day English as the Welsh and Scots tend to make more of an effort. It's so ignorant of them.
Yeah, the fact that he is “accusing” her of masturbating is a huge red flag to me
I didn't say you're a sociopath (jump to conclusions much?). You don't have to be a sociopath to need therapy and dating multiple people doesn't make you one either. You've obviously got some misconceptions of healthy relationships and it doesn't appear you're aware they're supposed to benefit both partners (really… girl 2 has become a chore and you won't let her go to find someone else who doesn't think of her like that?)… Committed or not, you're being an ass to girl 2 by keeping her on the line.
Dating multiple people involves a LOT of communication, patience, care and understanding. Based on your post and how you talk about both women, it seems you're lacking a bit of each of these qualities.
I used to date a girl with bpd and she was more like a sociopath (her words, not mine.)
Honestly bro, it does kinda sound like she's projecting. That other commenter must be a chick, too, or he just has no experience with women with BPD. The problem is that there are a LOT of women like this out there, especially the ones who are addicted to social media.
If you could somehow figure out a way to make her habitually look at situations from different perspectives, oh God would things be so much easier. But yeah man, sometimes I'd get fed up and just start agreeing with her when she called herself fucked up names. I just threw my hands up and said “welp, you clearly know yourself better than I do! So, if you say so!” And then I'm the bad guy for not arguing with her.
Ugh. Good luck. You said you won't leave her so idk what else to tell you besides its a lost cause.
How is this even possible? Whatever. He chose you. She rejected him. That is a good thing. Ignore her and go back to loving your wonderful husband and living your wonderful life. Everybody has a past and there isn't anything here to be upset about.
Oh no, I stand by everything I said.
Nothing you say is going to change my opinion. It wasn't an excuse 2 comments ago. You are being all of the things I said you were. I just thought the Ooga Booga was really cute!
You've taken personal offense to something a strangers girlfriend said. Then you took to the replies to throw a tantrum and lecture every one on how only the way you see things could possibly be right.
The fact that so many men's ego is tied up in something as shallow as dick size is ludicrous to begin with. It's toxic and it's all based around stupid stereotypes. Unless you're talking about a micro penis then length is irrelevant for most women. You're blowing this way out of proportion. It's not even remotely as deep as you're trying to make it.
What he said set his girlfriend off. It obviously hurt her. We don't know why but you don't respond like that unless you're hurt. What the girlfriend said was fucked up. It hurt him. Unfortunately people don't always consider proportionality.
I don't feel like going back and forth with someone who's being so irrational about a situation. You could just be bored and looking for a fight for all I know and I'm not interested.
What would your opinion be of a woman who sleeps around, and all the guys in the office warn him not to get involved with her?
Why? Nothing has happened in their relationship? You all are responding like she is cheating on her bf. She isn’t. A lot of meddlers in this feed.
i never implied the implementation can't be improved, but that's part of the incompetence that i mentioned initially. and it's also due to said incompetence that depending on the police to determine if there's risk or not is highly risky at best for DV victims, and fatal at worst.
in real life, the law never actually works out, no matter how it's written
once my bf gets home
Yes she is tired and I always make sure to give her the rest she needs. Am not forcing her to do stuff it’s just that when we have the chance to have sex it just feels robotic and she’s like “let’s get this over with”. As for kinks, I haven’t explored much because I just can’t talk to her about it because she does not want to talk much about sex stuff.
He's an asshole. He knew this would humiliate you and did it anyway. Not only that, he enjoyed it.
You’d be better off a single mom… sorry to say but you have a third kid. An adult child who is making your life much harder.
I think it is a great idea, but not for a birthday gift. Better to do it on a random day when she is not the center of attention, incase she has an emoticon reaction. Also, ask her if she is ok with it first – she may see the new stone as “fake” or sort of an imposter, and would maybe rather have the ring as-is.
these sound a lot like neurodivergence not snobbery and elitism.
Both are not mutually exclusive, you can be neurodivergent and still be a snob or elitist. NGL she sounds like an asshole, I am sorry but there is no way you can misinterpret the following
She loved one person in her life and I'm not that person. I told her – just talk to me like a friend then. She replied with brutal honesty – “You're not a friend yet.”
Like they're completely emotionally detached and she only seems to care about herself, someone like that shouldn't be in a relationship.
Grown ups don't take breaks. They are for playground relationships that last from recess until the home bus. How a break under the same roof is meant to work, I have no idea, but good luck with that.
Adults work through their problems as a team. Either he is your teamie and you can work through this,, together. Or he isn't, and as much as you love each other, you may not be lifetime compatible. In which case, you might need to move on.
make sure your cat is chipped and the info is in your name. it will be easier to finder the cat when he inevitably throws it out/rehomes it/drops it at a shelter while you are out one day.
Hell, I wouldn't rule out drugs either. It takes A LOT of alcohol to completely black out to where there aren't even dots to connect the next morning. I don't think I've ever gotten that drunk and I drank way too much in college.
But, there is still a core belief that men can't be raped by women, even if we as a society are slowly learning how untrue that is. It's going to take a long time until “that sounds like rape” is the top and overwhelming response to situations like this.
I may be alone in this but I wouldn’t want flowers delivered to my place of work. I’d find it a bit attention seeking.
Statistically your wife is going to divorce you anyways. May as well do something worthwhile with your life. Not like you'll get another chance. And after this little girl gets tossed around foster care she isnt going to be the same.
Take your kid. Tell your wife to deal with it or kick rocks.
Well, finances are always a big issue for any couples. “Winging it” doesn't really fly when rent needs to be paid on time 😀 Definitely needs to have a job lined up and/or savings as well. Does her degree help with that? Does her degree help keeping a job with her health issues. The main thing you don't want is someone who can't pull one's own weight. They are also the hardest to get rid of when things go south. Maybe she can move into your city to some other apartment and you try dating for 6-12 months before you two move in together? So she wouldn't be straight moving in to your place? Yes, financially much more expensive thing to do but maybe that gives you extra security?
Don’t listen to this unless you want to create a shitstorm. But you need to tell your wife if she doesn’t distance herself from this you will do just this
I would talk to the lawyer about that before you make any decisions.
Happy Cake Day!
This isn’t normal behavior, steer clear of this woman OP
You should just tell him the same way you’ve said here. If he can’t accept that then you’ve got a bigger problem.
he won’t accommodate my request, despite the fact that he knows I’m a private and sensitive person – and a survivor. Instead, he says he just won’t tell me about these convos he has.
Yeah I would never let this guy touch me again either. Why do men think they can act like this and still have their partners be attracted to them? This kind of disrespect for you didn’t come out of nowhere. Who wants to have sex with a guy who refuses to treat you like a person?
Of course.. this is wayyy too much.
Just skim the art, send her a little positive note and that’s it!
You don’t have to spend so much time on it, and asking her to stop will ruin your friendship.
wow you are so sweet. thanks?????????
What should I do?
you should ask her…Turns out the thing you are 'trapped' in only takes you speaking up to break the trap. You were adult enough to decide to 'just hang out' and get to know each other . Now be adult enough to say you want more and see what they think..
Since this is your first 'relationship' you may not realize that every relationship goes through a phase where you decide if you want more or to be exclusive. Particularly on one persons end…so say you want more.