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I agree he needs to be in a more independent place with the whole parents situation before I even come close to signing a lease
Just try to relax, take 20 steps back, and simply observe how he handles things. When he's back, tell him how you feel about his actions/words not matching up, and ask him about his plans/next few steps in the near future.
Her issues are not related to that unless something is wildly mis-wired that we haven't caught yet. She goes to regular and frequent appointments for updates and scans for her conditions, though.
She could find out what meds hes on
This is a pretty big red flag.
If I were you, I’d backtrack. Do not even give an inch. Tell him that because he’s pushed you, you’ll no longer be calling on those weekends.
They are for you and should remain that way. The rest of the time he has your attention.
When I go out because I need to do something for myself, my partner does not contact me.
You have the evidence.
Call your lawyer.
Go wake them up.
DNA on your son.
Divorce. Get full custody (if this is what she is teaching this poor kid…)
Sorry bud
You are so bitter tho.
If you want freedom dont be in a relationship. The behaviour she has is not wifey material. So why is she dating at all if she hangs out ar pubs after work “alone”.
She can either break up and do f+ or someshit or she can start and act like someone wanting a long lasting relationship. Also alcohol ia bad for you, and i lol at people drinking almost daily and not calling themselves alcoholic.
She’s been doing it for a week, mate.
He's become so desperate to manipulate you that he is waving a gun around. He's going to eventually use that gun if he doesn't get what he wants, and I doubt he is really planning on killing himself. This was about controlling you. He is very mentally unwell and next time he decides to use a gun to make you do what he wants you could die. He is ramping this up because you aren't just doing everything he wants every minute. Don't lie to yourself about how he hasn't ever been physical before because he is going to keep getting more extreme as you keep wanting to have a life where you get to decide the smallest things.
Abusers can be sweet, charming people almost all of the time but if they do things like threaten to kill themselves to manipulate you they are abusive. Even when he seems wonderful, that's who he is and you need to understand how much of his actions, positive and negative, are all to control you in a deeply disturbing way. He's probably going to be amazing after this, because he wants you to stay and he knows he has to create a climate where you would feel bad leaving.
When you get away you will be horrified at what you thought was normal. You can be so very much happier than this. And you will also be horrified at how unsafe this situation is. I have a lot of hope for you! I think you know what you need to do.
I’m also wondering who he’s crawling in with at 4am. I’m just not buying what these people are selling.
Would you have been just as upset if she wanted a female friend to go with? What sort of compromise would you have been open to – would you have preferred if she saw the movie twice, once alone with you and once alone with her friend?
Or do you feel you two just don’t get enough alone time together, and maybe some sort of “we find a one on one date night once a week” thing would be good for you two instead of restricting certain friends specifically? It can be nude when you start dating someone and need to balance friend time vs couple time.
With this timeline I think you should start thinking of taking a step back since you’ll only end up getting hurt and you won’t be able to be open for a relationship with someone who’s 100% into you.
How long do you need to leave?
I rather like the way you've put this, spelled it all out clearly and finished with the important element, dog shit.
You are such an ass.
Divorce is better. As a child of fighting parents who never would divorce, it creates intense trauma. Divorce would have been peaceful and the right move when it's not working anymore. and I wouldn't have felt so responsible and suffered so much.
On top of that it is dangerous for your son's emotional or physical well being to leave a parent who is at all resentful at your son for his very existence. That isn't parenting behavior.
Should a therapist even tell you how to feel, instead of helping you figure things out yourself?
Thank you, makes it waaay clearer for me 🙂
Live your life, get your education, then worry about throwing it all away on a boy.
You're going to have to explain what “the other way around” means because it isn't clear.
I'm assuming you're projecting what you think I'm saying onto what I'm actually saying
I was simply pointing out a pattern I've seen both irl and on Reddit, I've not done research or posted data and I've never claimed to. I don't think being a man or woman changes the moral dynamics of doing a bad thing however, women are more likely to do some bad things and men are more likely to do other bad things.
You should take a step back and have a breather before coming back to Reddit because you shouldn't be getting this worked up over a fairly inoffensive comment
I would be extremely tempted to show up towards the end of the night to “offer a ride” to my loving wife! This sounds very shady to me.
Some people just don’t understand.
A lifetime ago I was dating one of my best friend’s brother. He was in the Navy and had been home recently for leave. We were sexually active and used condoms during our short stay together.
A couple of weeks later I developed a yeast infection. Most likely due to the antibiotics I was on at the time. I told her about said yeast infection and she BLEW UP on me about how dare I sleep with her brother knowing I had an STD and that if I didn’t tell him she would.
I had to explain to her what a yeast infection was, how you get one, and that it is not an STD. She told her brother anyway because she thought I was lying and he laughed it off and told her the same thing I did.
This is the same person who gave her TSS because she put in a new tampon on top of an old one and forgot about both. ?
We aren’t friends anymore. Not because of any of this, but god she had a good heart but she was dumber than a box of hammers. I’m pretty sure she though a UTI was an STD/STI as well.