42 thoughts on “Lovely-adelle-11 on-line sex chats for YOU!”
Not stupid. Not weird. I’ve been the primary caretaker to my 10yo stepson since he was 6, and I would not crawl into bed with him, like ever! You’re basically a stranger to the kid. She is projecting her attachment and comfort with co-sleeping onto you. It’s not weird at all to her because she is his mom. Ask her if she would be ok with sleeping in the same bed as you and your mother/sibling/cousin. Hopefully they would make her realize how weird HER ask is.
Also, is she currently cosleeping with her son? Have they recently stopped? Like, what is her reasoning? If she’s trying to create a bond between you two, this is the absolute wrong way to do it. A bond is created between two people, a third person has no place in it, and especially not curating and pressuring for it, otherwise there will be no bond. See if you can convince her to let you work it out amongst yourselves. What she’s doing is the equivalent of making you love each other, and even kindergartners know you can’t make anyone love/like you.
Gone for a bit with his parents and you pressure him already? Make a fuss over few day trips for work every 4 months? He says your his other half and you purposefully say something other than the same?(prob feels like you're not echoing the sentiment…and fair enough if you're not ready but than just say that…don't be passive aggressive)
The fact you say he's new to relationships and learning seems kind of arrogant tbh because alot of these issues stem from you
It's no suprise he'd leave you based off the info i have imo and you need to reflect on what you're asking or just accept you guys wernt compatible
As a married man, it's always best to ask your wife before leaving your sperm anywhere isn't on/in her. He definitely should have discussed it with you before deciding to do it.
Unless he donated it “the old fashioned way”, then there would be a whole different reason to be upset.
What’s there to chat about? OP embarrassed themselves, the boyfriend, and his family at that event. And it wasn’t about the booze, it’s drinking so much that OP likely got alcohol poisoning and was unresponsive. There is a fine line between getting drunk and passing out from alcohol. OP should be the one apologizing, not the SIL.
Yeah you're better off breaking up if he continues to refuse to listen, he's attempting to manipulate you into doing what he wants. First he tried to guilt you by saying you don't do anything for him, then when that didn't work he attempted to shame you into doing it. Please ask yourself if you want to continue a relationship where anytime you don't do what he wants you'll be shamed and guilt tripped.
Once upon a time, like 6 years ago, i was tlaking to a friend that confided in me for emotional support. He had a gf of 10 years at that time, but never confided in her because she dismissed it.
He was talking about a deep psychological wound of his and i could feel his fear of being rejected on top of the pain of what he was talking about. He was starting shaking and had tears in his eyes.
I told him to get up as i got up, he was confused, and i hugged him. I held on very tight and told him “i'm here, you can let go, i'm holding you. Your pain is valid”. The moment i told him to let go, he broke into tears and his legs gave out. We stayed there for a few minutes while he was crying and crying, sometimes tryong to hold me back as tight. After a moment, he felt more assured and i let go.
He told me he never knew a hug could feel this way, and he realized noone had really held him tight since his mom when he was younger. He'd had quick hugs, but never a real tight hug. I felt so bad for him, 10 years with someone that doesn't give a shit about you… But it was on him too, he was the one deciding to stay with her even when acknowledging all of this.
My point is: a lot of men settle for being at best neglected emotionally by their partner and even their friends. A hug can do so much, it puts all the words of support into a tangible support.
I am sorry you had to go through this. If roles had been reversed, she would be so mad that you went out of the room like you didn't care. Has she never had any girl friend crying in front of her before?
This shit upsets me, if genders were reversed she would be calling the guy out on this
You’re only questioning your relationship because you have low self esteem and think that having other options means you can “do better.” If you break up with your gf for this girl you will regret it. Also as a side note: dating coworkers is a BAD IDEA.
Shes already desiring you, why should you break up with somebidy to feel desired when it's already there? In my opinion, you're not necessarily unhappy with the relationship, but where you're aware that you've never had the chance to explore options properly or to feel wanted and have ithers try to actively get with you, you're maybe convincing yourself that you aren't haply to make sure you're able to try and continue her desire. (I could be completely wrong, that's just what I think)
For me I would caution you against taking on the job of turning your husband into who you want him to be, no matter how good your reasons are. Why? Because this kind of thing quickly turns into a mother-child dynamic and that will most likely hurt your relationship in the long run. You
Also you are pregnant and about to have an actual baby depending on you for everything. You won't have time to stay on top of your husband's diet and exercise. In fact you'll need him to take on a lot more responsibility.
So my advice would be to let him be. As naked as that may be to do. Let him find his own motivation, or if not then that's his business. You are growing a baby and I'm sure you have your plate full keeping yourself healthy.
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Maybe don't buy a home in one of the top 5 most expensive places to buy property in the United States?
Not to shift this away from your relationship goals but how do you expect to pay the upkeep or mortgage on a property if you can't afford renting and saving at the same time?
The funny thing is I don’t think it’s a bad thing ! And our religion actually encourages sex as a healthy outlet between couples, and it’s considered a beautiful thing. I enjoy it haha that’s not the issue, the only thing is staying away before you’re married , that’s all
Granted, he should take care of his own hygiene before passing judgment. That’s a responsibility on both parties. But a lot that smell down there can come from your diet as well. Same for a guys “juice” diet plays a big role.
You have not stated anything about his behavior that would indicate anything other than him being helpful. My first thought was that he just wants to make sure you are home safe, rather than making sure you don’t go home with someone else and cheat on him.
Giving people that we care about rides is just what normal people do.
i feel like i’ve been “in control” here in the relationship in a way. he kinda just does whatever i want and is happy to do so. we have conversations about what we need to work on or communicate about something and in the six months we’ve been together he’s only ever brought up something i did that bothered him or needed to change once. should i ask him to take charge?
Your point should've been that you saying that would hurt his feelings even if it was technically positive. Saying “true” things without caring about how they'll be received is just cruel and tactless.
If he is saying that his cheating on you is an opportunity for you to support him, he's laughably delusional? If he's saying that he was depressed and therefore made this mistake, then why is he saying he doesn't know why he did it?
Right? She has a lot of nerve talking about his level of commitment when she was the one who cheated. She's insecure and controlling, because she's probably afraid OP is gonna cheat on her.
Thank you for this! That is helpful. & I do think knowing more will probably hurt but I also think knowing the actual truth without him always lying will give me some sort of closure and be able to finally realize who he is. What I know now is just that he has contact with this girl and she seems to have a crush on him & they may have hung out. My intuition tells me there’s way more which is why I wish I just knew.
I'm in a long-term, serious relationship with my partner. He works mostly with women and I would never have an issue with him following them because following an acquaintance on Instagram is not inappropriate. These aren't random bikini models, they're coworkers and classmates.
What specifically is upsetting to you about this? Would you be equally upset if he followed a woman you didn't think was attractive or who wasn't his “type”?
Not stupid. Not weird. I’ve been the primary caretaker to my 10yo stepson since he was 6, and I would not crawl into bed with him, like ever! You’re basically a stranger to the kid. She is projecting her attachment and comfort with co-sleeping onto you. It’s not weird at all to her because she is his mom. Ask her if she would be ok with sleeping in the same bed as you and your mother/sibling/cousin. Hopefully they would make her realize how weird HER ask is.
Also, is she currently cosleeping with her son? Have they recently stopped? Like, what is her reasoning? If she’s trying to create a bond between you two, this is the absolute wrong way to do it. A bond is created between two people, a third person has no place in it, and especially not curating and pressuring for it, otherwise there will be no bond. See if you can convince her to let you work it out amongst yourselves. What she’s doing is the equivalent of making you love each other, and even kindergartners know you can’t make anyone love/like you.
The one hear that needs to learn is you
Gone for a bit with his parents and you pressure him already? Make a fuss over few day trips for work every 4 months? He says your his other half and you purposefully say something other than the same?(prob feels like you're not echoing the sentiment…and fair enough if you're not ready but than just say that…don't be passive aggressive)
The fact you say he's new to relationships and learning seems kind of arrogant tbh because alot of these issues stem from you
It's no suprise he'd leave you based off the info i have imo and you need to reflect on what you're asking or just accept you guys wernt compatible
As a married man, it's always best to ask your wife before leaving your sperm anywhere isn't on/in her. He definitely should have discussed it with you before deciding to do it.
Unless he donated it “the old fashioned way”, then there would be a whole different reason to be upset.
God damn. Yeah whatever dude, just take the verbal abuse and keep getting the dome
Your boyfriend is NOT sweet.
Come on. It's a disaster waiting to happen. One day he won't have “stuff” to break and you'll just be there for that. Do NOT move in with him.
What’s there to chat about? OP embarrassed themselves, the boyfriend, and his family at that event. And it wasn’t about the booze, it’s drinking so much that OP likely got alcohol poisoning and was unresponsive. There is a fine line between getting drunk and passing out from alcohol. OP should be the one apologizing, not the SIL.
Do Couples therapy, it’s not as scary or taboo as some think. It can help.
Yeah you're better off breaking up if he continues to refuse to listen, he's attempting to manipulate you into doing what he wants. First he tried to guilt you by saying you don't do anything for him, then when that didn't work he attempted to shame you into doing it. Please ask yourself if you want to continue a relationship where anytime you don't do what he wants you'll be shamed and guilt tripped.
Once upon a time, like 6 years ago, i was tlaking to a friend that confided in me for emotional support. He had a gf of 10 years at that time, but never confided in her because she dismissed it.
He was talking about a deep psychological wound of his and i could feel his fear of being rejected on top of the pain of what he was talking about. He was starting shaking and had tears in his eyes.
I told him to get up as i got up, he was confused, and i hugged him. I held on very tight and told him “i'm here, you can let go, i'm holding you. Your pain is valid”. The moment i told him to let go, he broke into tears and his legs gave out. We stayed there for a few minutes while he was crying and crying, sometimes tryong to hold me back as tight. After a moment, he felt more assured and i let go.
He told me he never knew a hug could feel this way, and he realized noone had really held him tight since his mom when he was younger. He'd had quick hugs, but never a real tight hug. I felt so bad for him, 10 years with someone that doesn't give a shit about you… But it was on him too, he was the one deciding to stay with her even when acknowledging all of this.
My point is: a lot of men settle for being at best neglected emotionally by their partner and even their friends. A hug can do so much, it puts all the words of support into a tangible support.
I am sorry you had to go through this. If roles had been reversed, she would be so mad that you went out of the room like you didn't care. Has she never had any girl friend crying in front of her before?
This shit upsets me, if genders were reversed she would be calling the guy out on this
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You’re only questioning your relationship because you have low self esteem and think that having other options means you can “do better.” If you break up with your gf for this girl you will regret it. Also as a side note: dating coworkers is a BAD IDEA.
Shes already desiring you, why should you break up with somebidy to feel desired when it's already there? In my opinion, you're not necessarily unhappy with the relationship, but where you're aware that you've never had the chance to explore options properly or to feel wanted and have ithers try to actively get with you, you're maybe convincing yourself that you aren't haply to make sure you're able to try and continue her desire. (I could be completely wrong, that's just what I think)
Ok, I do think that's relevant.
For me I would caution you against taking on the job of turning your husband into who you want him to be, no matter how good your reasons are. Why? Because this kind of thing quickly turns into a mother-child dynamic and that will most likely hurt your relationship in the long run. You
Also you are pregnant and about to have an actual baby depending on you for everything. You won't have time to stay on top of your husband's diet and exercise. In fact you'll need him to take on a lot more responsibility.
So my advice would be to let him be. As naked as that may be to do. Let him find his own motivation, or if not then that's his business. You are growing a baby and I'm sure you have your plate full keeping yourself healthy.
Well that's my opinion anyway.
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That poor kid. Why do people bring innocent babies into their dysfunctional shit shows?
Don't let him gaslight you. He honestly sounds so selfish and immature
Maybe don't buy a home in one of the top 5 most expensive places to buy property in the United States?
Not to shift this away from your relationship goals but how do you expect to pay the upkeep or mortgage on a property if you can't afford renting and saving at the same time?
Yeah I really don't get that mindset. My wife plans date nights aswell and the same with anniversaries. We both want to spoil eachother ??♂️
It's his semen. And his condom. He can take it with him if he wants to. You get no say in it. He can even eat it if he wants to.
Then he should shock you BY NOT HAVING ONE!
Have you asked her as well how she would like to spice things up? Not only giving your preferences but listening to her preferences as well
The funny thing is I don’t think it’s a bad thing ! And our religion actually encourages sex as a healthy outlet between couples, and it’s considered a beautiful thing. I enjoy it haha that’s not the issue, the only thing is staying away before you’re married , that’s all
Eh I know and I’ve discussed this with my kid (not having any siblings if we stay here) and she’s okay with that. I don’t want my child angry with me.
I just feel stuck. Feels like a lose/lose situation at this point.
Cause I didnt wanted to be needy I felt that if she wanted to contact me, she would do it.. no games there
This won't stop with the dog leaving. Get out now or be miserable
As it should.
She did text me first 50% of the time in the first months, maybe I should have been clearer about that.
If I worked in food service I’d be hitting a weed pen all day too.
Granted, he should take care of his own hygiene before passing judgment. That’s a responsibility on both parties. But a lot that smell down there can come from your diet as well. Same for a guys “juice” diet plays a big role.
If they were given to you and you wish to burn them, Maybe it will, in a way close out that part of you.
Many find a form of closure from doing things like this.
You have not stated anything about his behavior that would indicate anything other than him being helpful. My first thought was that he just wants to make sure you are home safe, rather than making sure you don’t go home with someone else and cheat on him.
Giving people that we care about rides is just what normal people do.
i feel like i’ve been “in control” here in the relationship in a way. he kinda just does whatever i want and is happy to do so. we have conversations about what we need to work on or communicate about something and in the six months we’ve been together he’s only ever brought up something i did that bothered him or needed to change once. should i ask him to take charge?
Your point should've been that you saying that would hurt his feelings even if it was technically positive. Saying “true” things without caring about how they'll be received is just cruel and tactless.
Yet here you are still posting about it?
Dump him. He can't be happy for you or with you. He can't even pretend. Enjoy your life.
Alright alright I’ll watch it tomorrow, thanks
If he is saying that his cheating on you is an opportunity for you to support him, he's laughably delusional? If he's saying that he was depressed and therefore made this mistake, then why is he saying he doesn't know why he did it?
In OP's post history, he posted “30m just got broken up with”
did they get back together? or was that a shitpost?
Right? She has a lot of nerve talking about his level of commitment when she was the one who cheated. She's insecure and controlling, because she's probably afraid OP is gonna cheat on her.
Yeah, not a lot of 19 year olds are gonna wanna hear naked truths.
Thank you for this! That is helpful. & I do think knowing more will probably hurt but I also think knowing the actual truth without him always lying will give me some sort of closure and be able to finally realize who he is. What I know now is just that he has contact with this girl and she seems to have a crush on him & they may have hung out. My intuition tells me there’s way more which is why I wish I just knew.
I'm in a long-term, serious relationship with my partner. He works mostly with women and I would never have an issue with him following them because following an acquaintance on Instagram is not inappropriate. These aren't random bikini models, they're coworkers and classmates.
What specifically is upsetting to you about this? Would you be equally upset if he followed a woman you didn't think was attractive or who wasn't his “type”?