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You’re abominably selfish. She is doing everything! And you’re too arrogant to get therapy.
Is this some weird kind of marketing thing?
This is not your forever person. You can be their platonic friend and move on to find another person to love. Our hearts are infinite.
They're not erotica though by any means. Just teen fiction.
Talk to him and communicate. You may both decide that the friendship is more important and if you decide to give it a go, just talk to each other. Talk about everything, the friendship shouldn’t stop because you decide to date it should become more special!
Either way, y’all are young and have your whole life to figure shit out. I always find it’s more fun figuring shit out with my best friend:)
Good luck with whoever you end up with. You sound like a genuine person who cares about others, anyone would be lucky to have you!
I can understand her gut reaction honestly. Objectively it’s a shitty situation and you were thinking about possible solutions but it’s not a surprise that she’s hurt that divorce was brought up, even under these circumstances.
You crossed a line when you told her she was projecting, you basically told her her feelings aren’t valid and that was a dick move.
UpdateMe!
13 week relationship… lord help us. And this is the amount of shit you are already dealing with. God OP if this isn't a cry to get out idk what is. There is no excuse for having shared intimate messages with a friend out of pity?? That's his excuse?
He felt bad so he didnt tell her he was dating someone and was sharing messages you don't share with anyone outside of a relationship with?
Fuck that shit. It's bullshit. Does he want you to just allow it Till she kicks the bucket?
I wldnt trust him as far as i cld throw him.
Bro you like what you like. Any reason is sufficient.
So, he told you that you're done and broke up with you before sleeping with another person, which is something every decent human being should do and now you're pushing to get back together and that he cheated? No, he didn't cheat, he told you you were done. I've always told this to my girlfriends that if they plan on cheating then send me a text or something that “hey, we're done, gonna fuck another dude.”
She’s disrespecting your relationship by essentially having a date with another dude. You need to dump her ASAP. Further indication this is a date is he paid the bill, that’s a friendship boundary and also he’s been lurking on her Snapchat waiting for this opportunity which she gave him. All red flags man, and don’t let her or anyone else her gaslight you into thinking you’re insecure or this is normal, this is NOT a normal behavior.
You've been on 3 dates…. you shouldn't know that anyway.
I don't see any contradictions. He finds you attractive but doesn't want a relationship. He's fine with the friendship. He won't pursue anything more. If you have your hopes up that he will want to date you, put that to bed. He's not going to. He said he doesn't want a relationship, and he doesn't. That doesn't mean he doesn't want to flirt, have fun, drink coffee, etc. He just doesn't want a relationship.
So, he’s a stalker with no boundaries? I’d be getting the police involved, this is harassment.
but you refusing to have said conversation
When did I say that? I'm specifically asking for advice on the best way to go about said conversation. Of course I would have a conversation with her, I would never just break up without saying anything first. That would be morally wrong since my girlfriend obviously deserves an explanation.
“Glad you're enjoying our anniversary with someone who isn't me.”
She said she enjoys their time together and they aren’t all that serious. She is aware of his immaturity – she seems pretty self-aware, imo.
You could argue that she’s not cultivating a lot of solid relationship skills but they are young yet.
I donn’t think that casually dating someone is necessarily wrong out of the gate.
yeah, but you can't explain it when they want to see it as something it's not…
Again I would ask yourself why it’s so big that he buys you flowers.. I understand that they are something you enjoy but at the end of the day you can’t force him too, and trust me if you do and he gives them to you it won’t feel genuine
Hey, fuck you man!
Wow, you sound like a right POS. Your ex will cheat again
It’s not sensible to buy a house with someone you’re not married to.
My mom’s friend dated a man for 10 years, he would not marry her. After they broke up he married his new girl 6 months later. You need to seriously consider the possibility that he will never, ever marry you.
Ultimatums aren’t super positive, but “I need to know if and when you want to get married by (date)” is. You need all the information you need to plan out your life. And if he doesn’t have an answer by that date, it’s a “no”.
Also, for me, there can be a massive cross when friends date your family. This isn’t just some minor friend or acquaintance , this is her best friend, if shit goes down between her and her bro then it could put a lot of stress and a massive wedge in her friendship. I don’t think asking your best friend to not date your family is really that unreasonable to be honest
There’s a great post above about how everyone has internal bias. I think he’s consuming race theory from the internet or books and not expressing himself well to you. You can read some excellent books such as ‘why I’m no longer talking to white people about race’ by Reni Eddo lodge, ‘white fragility’ by robin diangelo and ‘How to Argue with a Racist’ by Adam Rutherford. He’s not gaslighting you. A lot of race theory argues that the power imbalance inherent in western culture (in favour of white people) means that racism is directed at those without power: essentially black people can be prejudiced but not racist as racism describes a system of disadvantage based on race and a racist is someone with racial power within a system of oppression. It is therefore perfectly possible to be a black person in love with a white person and still understand the inherent racism at play. I suggest you ask him to talk you through his thoughts, engage with some reading as above and ask him to talk to you thoughtfully about how he’s expressing himself if you find it in appropriate. But it’s your job to also do some lifting here. His reality is different from yours, and it’s not a black persons job to constantly educate white people. I am white by the way. And please do correct me on anything I’ve got wrong.
It's sounds like you have nude times ahead, my friend.
Will never delete her from phone even when I’m married with child
Dude I saw your edit on your post. Stop acting like a petulant child. Everyone is telling you that no, you didn't assault her. We are just telling you that paying her half of the bill didn't buy you free access to her pants and asking for a refund when you didn't get what you wanted was disrespectful. Now you're speaking about her as if all she was interested in is your wallet when she probably just wanted to meet a nice person and have a good, but chaste time with him on the first night.
You don't deserve the slander and the physical assault, but if you act like that, it will be very nude to convince people that they're lying. You should definitively treat yourself with a bit of soul searching.
ovulation tests won't work if she is on birth control bc people on hormonal birth control don't ovulate. so if any of the tests show she is ovulating she is not on birth control.
make sure you have condoms that she doesn't have access to… but honestly if she's lying about birth control just leave that's a gateway to many more lies and that's already a big lie
Sounds like the ‘next levels’ you’re talking about are in a video game that only you invented, with rules only you know and chose to keep to yourself. This wasn’t a silly misunderstanding on her part. She quite rightly thought you were talking about the ‘next level’ of relationships that everyone else in your culture agrees is standard.
The only silliness I can see is that you thought this announcement of your personal, individual property ownership plans would be a happy surprise that involved her at all?
Either they all have closer relationships with your boss or you were very new there? Your boss might of found it inappropriate to tell the office about the loss in your family (some people do not want their coworkers to know)
If you are struggling for $ , don't donate. I think it just looks good of there's a card you can sign your name onto with the flowers.
OP I'm sorry nobody acknowledged the loss of your grandfather. I hope you had the support of your family & friends ❤️
I think its awesome you allowed her to become free to find someone
Good point
You have been scammed sir.
She clearly said she’d get something herself. You were being generous and offered several times to get her food. She can be mad about the argument, but if she can’t act like a twenty-nine year old and communicate what she really wants, then she can figure out her own situation.
you aren’t alone…but don’t forget it’s like smoky the bear says, only YOU can prevent forest fires
much love
Bad times friend ahead
If I were you I'd take that time to completely erase him from your life like he was a stranger.
I struggle with this bc my wife and I find Valentine's Day trivial. We find celebrating our anniversary on that date trivial.
That he's going when you're returning to work? I don't see the problem as you had already told him you couldn't go.
But let's assume I cared about all that. I wouldn't be mad about the trip. I'd be mad about the fact that he didn't think about those dates. Personally, before booking anything I would have asked you about the dates. Then, changed it after you reminded me.
No. I wouldn't dump someone that you say had been amazing until this. But I'd make it very clear it best not happen again.
No! If you like to get lots of sympathy, attention, and TLC when you're sick, by all means ask him for that. It's a big mistake to try to adjust your authentic feelings to better fit what you think your SO would prefer. You are two unique individuals even after you agree to share your lives together, and you can expect to always have differing needs, preferences, and opinions on various things. And that's perfectly OK!
I’d recommend to enumerate all your reasons for which you don’t want to celebrate your birthday
I don't like the attention.
How so?
I want to support you and be your friend through this, but I am not ready to on-line with a baby so I will be looking for different housing.
That's it. Short and to the point. Truth is she will likely be dropping out because raising a newborn baby without zero support from family or the father while going to college is a fantasy to her right now, not something that will easily happen. You are not going to be able to help her, either.
OP isn't even trying to meet the boyfriend where he is; she's trying to drag him to where She is.
Snarky bollocks? How? By disagreeing with certain points people made?
Yes. I am looking for aggro. I want people to disagree with me. Duh. That’s why I’m here. I’ve had a lot of good advice here from people who are insulting me.
I’m not going to get good advice by agreeing with everyone. I need to try to prove people wrong, and see what they can come up with to prove me wrong. It’s called debating my issue you idiot lol
Then you need to have a conversation with your wife about open honest communication and that you aren't a mind reader.
She had a chance to enjoy her twenties but she chose to get married so while you don’t own her and she can do whatever she wants within reason she doesn’t get a free pass to do whatever she wants most of the time. If she’s constantly out with her friends and not coming home she’s not spending time with you and your relationship will suffer as a result. Married people owe it to their spouse to spend more time with them than out with friends. That doesn’t mean all the time needs to be spent with the spouse just that most of it should be
the thing is that it kinda feels like she is saying it so get a reaction from me/make me jealous. which i think is properly fucked up. any reason for why she would do this?
You will hurt her but better to do it quickly now than string her along any more. Find a half truth that’s a dealbreaker vs just telling her you don’t like her though. Give her something of a legitimate reason
So call it off. Don't tell her you made a mistake and don't tell her you don't like her. Just say you lost feelings.
Personally, just fine if I knew how badly he treated his first wife.
You're mentioning all of the problems you are having, but none of the other variables, such as what the general mood was, what your mood was, what his mood was, have you been arguing lately, are either of you stressed, etc.. You're putting all responsibility on him for the issues. Again, the possible variables that could have led to the arguments happening got left out. You're overly exaggerating how bad the issues are “he has officially ruined Valentine's day from now until the end of time.”. Your toxic mentality of blaming others for your perceived issues is what is ruining your happy and exciting times, not him. Plenty of people do it to themselves, it isn't just you. But if he's so tired of arguing that he would rather play a videogame to calm down than do anything with you at the moment, I can't blame him. It's completely reasonable. And then a new argument starts because you can't even let him do that?
Either get couple's therapy, or consider getting therapy for yourself after one or the other of you breaks up with the other. You both sound miserable to be around.
This really isn’t fair to your dad, simply because this is his wife now, and you kids have not really had an issue with her. I could see if she was some disruptive tramp that caused all kinds of hell, but it doesn’t sound like she has.
Why should your mom give two craps about who he brings, they are divorced now! Would she still feel this way no matter who he married and her age? This is moms problem not anyone else’s. All this will do is cause a big crack between everyone in the family and start a mess of drama that really should not be started.
The only plan I can come with is to hire a fine escort boy to your mother to come to the wedding. Keep it a secret between sisters. For everyone else, in particular your father, she is with a guy better than him.
Your father probably won't care. But your mother could not pass on that occasion of revenge.
He is manipulative and controlling. He also has double standards and is a mysoginist. What you are doing is perfectly normal. What he is asking of you is not normal. It is not ok. It will get worse if you stay with him. Dump him now.
I know you probably don’t feel like this is abuse, but it is. It’s control, it’s emotional manipulation and it’s horrible.
Tell her you won’t be deleting a single woman from your social media account or discussing this again. If she can’t sort out her insecurities and make peace with it, then the relationship is over. Truly, absolutely, put your foot down.
GIRL, WTF?!?!?!!??!! NO! NONE OF HIS DEMANDS ARE REASONABLE!
Please just block him on everything and stop contact with him. Why would you wanna be with him if he makes you so unhappy?! No. Please have some compassion and respect for YOURSELF and get away from this terrible person. You can't change him, you can't help him, it will not get better, only worse, no matter how many of his demands you satisfy. He will gradually wear you down and get you dependent on him. It's your male friends now, then it will be you female friends he doesn't like, then it will be your family until you have no one but him, no one to turn to for help. Please LEAVE.
Yeah, I was saying that you should have just bought them when she made it clear she wanted them in the beginning. Going through a whole day of her being upset because you are worried about how SHE looks is ridiculous and honestly still sounds like you just care about your ego. Not your ego in a you are pathetic way, but in a way that “you would don’t want to be with someone that acts like that” sort of way because you are above materialistic gift exchanges. Why do you care about how she looks if she doesn’t? That’s kind of odd and sounds like you just don’t like her and aren’t compatible.
Sharing her for even a moment is not an option for me.
For those who are going to jump to the “insecure” and “controlling” perspective without thinking….OP you are 19 and he is 20, you're both very young and still learning to navigate life. With that said, you perhaps had the most sincere intentions wearing the outfit for him, but it DOES NOT mean he saw it that way.
There are two things going on, he in one area does not realize you genuinely were doing this for him which is completely fine as a concept, but in the other area he IS NOT comfortable with you overly exposing your skin in public. And you know what? He does not have to be and I would argue the vast majority of men are not ok with their partner doing it, however many of us have been taught and pressured to accept that it is indeed ok and to keep those feelings bottled inside for fear of judgement. But that is another conversation.
What I would do is simply sit him down and have a conversation when you both cool off, and explain why you chose that outfit for him and your thoughts process. See his response, and then afterward try to talk about his feelings on you overly exposing yourself in public and get his perspective.
Once you have that information you have a choice to make, compromise and see if you both can reach an agreement, or leave and be with someone who is ok with you dressing how you please.
So you shouldn't have to figure out how your husband should “make it up to you” and that's part of the problem. When someone does something wrong/hurts someone's feeling, the burden is on THEM to make things right.
He is a grown man that at least should be able to critical think, and he does that thinking every day. This is a bit flippant, but I think a lot of times this kind of specific relationship incompetence makes people forget their partner exists in the world differently than with them. Your husband drives, which means he can assess situations around him and follow directions. He has a job, which means he can interact with people, meet deadlines, and all sorts of other skills. He has at least one friend, so he knows how to interrelate to other humans and make plans with them.
So why is he not using those skills with you? He feels guilty but you have to fix that, even though the reason he feels guilty is because of his actions towards you. So now you feel bad that he doesn't prioritize you, AND you feel bad that you can't help him not feel guilty. Read that sentence again. Make this man figure out his own shit.
It may have been that you hid the panic attack from him rather than the panic attack itself that has him ruminating.
Ask him what’s up. Without a conversation, you are truly inventing what’s going on in his head. Maybe he had an argument with his boss or maybe he was preoccupied with something else – who knows? So ask him.
Your previous relationship was abusive, so this is a bit of a step up, but frankly not remotely enough. Just because it's a bit better than before doesn't mean it's good enough. You've been with this guy for 6 months, seeing each other twice a month, so you've seen this guy at best 12 times, and you are already his “maid and nurse”. Come on now. Just because he is not hurling abuse your way doesn't mean you need to settle for this. Stop expecting men to change to fulfil the minimum decency for a partner, set that standard for yourself and only give your time to someone who meets it right away.
There are way too many kids being born to ppl that don’t really want them at the moment. Plus, maybe you’re not sure about having kids with her at all.
No. Wanting to wear a condom is never something you have to “get over”. I wish more ppl would take it this seriously.
No. There is no way this is sexual assault (she felt forced “because he kept asking”???) . Your girlfriend banged her ex and now feels guilty about it. She is making it sound like rape to remove her complicity in it. My guess is if you interrogate her enough the story will get more and more rapey. It is up to you whether you are okay with that.
Now that’s unfair. He’s very good at being an asshole!
Even a long term friend is a no. It’s just not appropriate. One of my best friends is a guy with a girlfriend. We used to on-line together before he met her. I would not go on a holiday alone with him it’s just weird!
You weak fool. How were you okay with this?
She's trying to let you go in what she thinks is a nice way.
IuI are very effective.
Let me rephrase. When you are triggered or your ego bruised do you say things back that ARE TRUE or do you say any LIES that will insult the other person?
You're naive if you think this isn't an addiction.
It sounds like you don't actually know why she was denied entry or if it even had anything to do with her diabetes. I think you're first step needs to be finding out if this was a case of discrimination of some form or if your girlfriend's bag just didn't fit their policies.
It's totally fair that you wanted validation – my advice is to not frame it as requiring a superlative. Ask him for compliments that are just about how he feels about YOU, not how he feels about you compared to all the other people in the world. And leave it open ended so he doesn't feel put on the spot to say something specific. It's ok to tell your partner “I'd like to ask you to say something nice about me” if you need a pick me up – that could be how much it meant that you got his favorite ice cream flavor or how he's still replaying that super naked BJ you gave him or you looked beautiful at dinner the other night or he loves how witty you are or your boobs or how kind you are to service workers or he loves your hair like this. Because then you won't worry he's just telling you what you want to hear, it's something he genuinely loves about you.
Your parents are waiting, probably with their hearts on the verge of breaking, for you to dump this moron.
They don’t like him??? It’s not hot to see why.
Please go back to the love and safety of your parents.
No, not everyone thinks you are in a great relationship. It’s only the ones who don’t know or acknowledge you are a victim of domestic violence.
I have advice. Block him and get therapy so you can identify why you want to be with someone like this
That's a pretty big ask before meeting someone. You sure you want to have him insist you turn on read receipts mid-date?
Yea but if you are out walking during the night some creepy guy older than you might come driving along and try to get you in their car.
Red flag
This. Your SO will at any moment run into someone who – wearing whatever – will look better than you think you do.
He is with you. Cherish that and try to relax.
I can't imagine that anyone here is going to give you pointers on how to manipulate a girl who's barely legal into becoming your girlfriend. The two of your are probably not at the same level maturity wise and clearly there is not enough mutual chemistry to base flirting off of, much less some king of romantic relationship.
I get that you've suffered from depression and are lonely and behind on the dating curve but the answer to that problem is to get out and interact with people your own age and keep doing that until you meet someone that flirting comes easy with. When you find the right person everything that's hot become easy.
If neither of you have initiated flirting that probably means there is not enough mutual attraction for either of you to take a chance. Also, telling everyone who might bring up the elephant in the room not to comment is very sus. It's almost like you don't want truthful opinions.
If your in your in and all that comes with with
Cool, head forth and change your name to hers then.
It's not a big deal to anyone not living in the past. If this is such an issue to you, and you have such a downer on marriage anyway, maybe not get married.
The reality is: It doesn't matter.
I didn't downvote. And for some reason your two comments show, but someone else's don't. Thanks for the advice tho.
To clarify, he's only ever interested in virtual stuff with men.
I just assume he saw my car and knocked on the door that was in front of it.
What you're experiencing is completely normal. Take your time and be single for a while. 2 months is not that long. You should absolutely not be in a new relationship until these feelings have passed and you're ready to commit yourself 100% to your new partner.
He doesn't treat you “like a princess” he is physically assaulting you. What answer were you expecting?? Leave him dude.
The person above is overly harsh, and makes it sound like you're 'miserable and resentful' from some character flaw in yourself. If you are resentful, it's for a very valid reason, and if you're miserable it's because you've been made to feel miserable due to your partner and them pressuring/trapping you into this arrangement. Maybe the initial commented didn't mean it in such an accusatory way to blame only you, but I'm not so sure
Decide on what you really want and follow through with it. Don't look back and wonder “what if”, it doesn't help you with anything. “What if” scenario just never exist, plain simple. If you want to commit to your gf, stop looking for your ex on social media and focus all your energy on creating happy moments together If you want to try to get back with your ex, breakup and pursuit her. If you want to juggle 2 relationships you can try but accept that you risk of losing both of them at any moment (most people don't recommend this option)
Be careful who you share your trauma with. To shitty people it can mean you’re already trained/groomed and can easily fall into old patterns. It can put a target on your back. Fake white knights will come out of the woodwork.
She wants to keep things as is.
So keep things as is.
You need to examine why it takes extreme measures, and not the love and respect you have for your partner to share the responsibility of the life you’ve built with some of your own free will and not want to see them struggle, to get you to change.
Extreme measures are just that, and the will never be a guarantee that people are will want to reconcile or if the damage can be undone.
You need to do real self work to be able to actually fix this situation and maintain it.
To be clear she isn’t in the hospital anymore I stayed with her the whole time then took her home yesterday. I really appreciate all the comments as much as I want to believe nothing happened because I know this guy is literally trash 50 years old and disgusting. I want to believe she just wanted the attention but I know you are all right. And every time I ask if she had sex with him and she says no I can tell the only reason she is saying that is to hope I won’t leave her. I’m grateful for this community and thank you for all the harsh and unharsh love it’s what I needed.
Thank you so much!!!???
you shouldn't stay with somebody just because they're the breadwinner. Is there any sort of career or job you can take with your disability that would free you from this slob?
If someone tells you she doesn’t want to date you, BELIEVE HER.
The naivety of these posts lately. Telling a whole story about how their girl gets plowed then say “I don’t want her to get mad” or “I love her and want to believe her”
Many/most of those/this stories where the poster is describing a situation in which he is obviously being cheated on, and then goes on to ask us if agree that its all innocent are by trolls.
Usually the accounts are a few hours/days old, or they're old accounts that haven;t been used for years and were probably hijacked.
It sounds like your BF is open to learning, which is huge for people who have been indoctrinated by religion. Honestly, that’s a great sign. I’m a member of the LGBTQ+ community and have been an activist for decades, so I have a strong sense of purpose and goals. But I do not automatically exclude people who are willing to be supportive. We often win hearts and minds slowly.
You might want to look up attachment styles and aee what style you both have..She may be more clingy and emotional because she had less secure attachment with her parents than you which doesn't mean she's crazy – it just means she needs more nurturing than someone with secure attachment. People can gain “earned secure” attachment over time if they don't start out that way but it can be some extra work to get there.
I am concerned. It sounds like he is his mother's full time care giver, and she either needs more caregivers or to be in a facility.
Second, does he make any money on his own? Maybe he is mostly broke? and so is his mother?
Third, if you get married and on-line in CA, and don't have a prenup, then the moment you put any money into the house, I believe it becomes community property. it doesn't matter whose name is on the deed.
Forth, You are taking on a lot when you take on him. He sounds a bit of a recluse. I doubt he has much money, so I think you might want to think this through.
This guy ain't a good guy. Please raise your standards! You did the right thing in leaving this guy, please stick to it.
Your BF is probably just blowing off steam but it sounds like a super toxic situation.
Your BF is probably just blowing off steam but it sounds like a super toxic situation.
She got teeth removed, she didn’t have a limb amputated. Its your house, go ahead and do whatever the hell you want to do this weekend. You’re still taking care of her, she doesn’t need to be bottle fed.
If she has issues with your generosity and kindness, she is welcome to go look for those things elsewhere.
did you come to his house or did you break and enter?
I didn’t take an amazing opportunity to do a semester abroad because I didn’t want to leave my boyfriend. I regret it immensely. This is your time to experience new things and meet new people. If you and your boyfriend are “meant to be” then you will be. But don’t pass up the chance to explore who you are because you are afraid to lose someone else.
Something is wrong with him, run lol shit. It only gets worse
Wow that’s disgusting. So he’s a creep. So he likes to trap younger women propose and try trap them in marriage. You’re history repeating itself.
Also someone made a comment about when you have teenage daughters and their friends which is think is absolutely on the money.
I would run from this relationship.
One of his friends has a house with a basement. His friend hosts another DND group there and his wife plays. I asked if they would have sessions there instead. They had it there once and it's back here again…I don't know if I even have it in me to say something about it again. At this point, I'm fighting with myself not to just disappear because I feel silly being so bent about something that happens twice a month. Anyways, I was working on making new friends but…things got..scary and I'm dealing with someone who became obsessed with me now so I don't even want to go walking these days. I wanna say that I do appreciate your gentle and helpful answer. I appreciate your words and time
I’m gonna be talking to a lawyer or something
A lawyer?? Maybe. First of all – You need to tell family you can trust. You need to STAY with family you can trust. You're dating a STALKER. This guy is toxicly, dangerously obsessed with you, and this is BAD. This is a VERY dangerous situation for you. You need to talk to family and explain everything ROGHT AWAY. DONT FOR ONE SECOND think you can handle this all by yourself, alone. Explain the situation, let people know what has happened. If you go missing, this is VERY important information for family and friends to know so they can help you. Second, come up with a plan with your family on how to contact authorities or how to stay safe in case of retaliation. Technically, he hasn't broken the law yet (unless he has videos/pictures of you not in public space, minor, etc). The authorities will only help you if he's trespassing or breaking some law. But dudes like this are fuckin crazy and will retaliate. You barely started dating so, break it off and with family present. NEVER EVER BE ALONE WITH HIM AGAIN. NEVER. This is NOT normal. This is dangerous and you need to see that, you need to understand that, and come up with a plan to keep you safe! You're dating a fucking psycho stalker. So far, he's won the girl he's obsessed with. What will he do when he loses her? Like for real – movie type shit but id you're bieng honest – I would be scared too.
Lie about something family related and its important for you. Make something up. Tell your parents/family its an emergency and you are in danger and need to talk. And once you are with family ask them if you can stay with them for a while until you feel safe. Honestly, you need people present in your life, more eyes to watch around you incase psycho bf decides to show up.
Turn on the bathroom fan and play music. That’s it
I’m pretty old and I definitely know some people who swing, but I can honestly say I’ve never known a couple who had an open relationship where it lasted more than a year once it was opened. I’m sure there are tons of examples where these people in open marriages are just happily f*ing whoever they want and neither partner minds, but I don’t know any of them.
He didn't, but when my sister told him he was furious. I have to say that he did stand up for me multiple times during that time. He has been no contact with his family for over a year now.
I would just try to have fun and enjoy it with him for at least 6 months before you broach the subject. By that time you may have your answer without even asking.
He’s not cheating . He’s actually at work.
Your GF sounds possessive and controlling. If an apology isn't enough for you, you don't have to accept it.
She’s. . . actually doing everything right? Her friendly behavior before led you to believe she might be interested in going out with you, so she’s pulling way back from that.