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She won’t have to because she won’t know. So she isn’t hurt
So what you’re going through is completely understandable, but I think you might have an avoidant attachment. It’s when people avoid being fully vulnerable in a relationship due to fear. And interestingly, it will always make the other partner insecure. And this is where us women usually go like “WOW SO NOW THAT I’M NOT INTERESTED HE’S INTERESTED FUCK MEN,” but really it’s just a relationship dynamic. I think you might be interested in someone who’s attracted to emotionally unavailable people, and this is something that could be due to his upbringing e.g. his caregivers were emotionally unavailable therefore he’s attracted to emotionally unavailable people — and that requires him to work on these issues with therapy, or at least debunking his beliefs on his own.
I’m not sure if you want to be in a relationship with this guy from what you’re describing him as. From what you’re describing as you being insecure it’s actually healthy to have those needs and wants in a relationship, so I think you’re actually just with the wrong partner to begin with. Lying is a huge no-no boundaries crossed that shouldn’t be accepted, and emotional safety as well as words of affirmation is a standard that should be met in a relationship.
Keep in mind that if you want to make this relationship work though, he has to be honest and put in the emotional relationship work in order for you to want to be vulnerable and committed again. He needs to be self accountable and also focus on your wants and needs to be met. Knowing where you’re at right now it’s not a fun place to be. I’m sure you wish you were in a lovey dovey relationship where you feel safe and know that your partner loves you very much, and I just hope you get that.
Congrats to your mom.
That said, an invitation isn't a summons. Your gf doesn't want to go. She's allowed to decline. This accomplishment is important to your mother, which is great, but not everyone has to celebrate it accordingly.
And… when is your mother's anniversary? Is it New Year's Eve? New Year's Day?
Also, if you guys have been together for five years, how has this not come up before?
You’ve known her 4 months and she’s already acting like this. It’s not rational. You need to get out and get safe
your wife is sick and you should definitely make sure gabby finds a good job and possibly end your marriage as well