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It just sounds so weird even typing this but now I can't sleep because this is ridiculous.
My (28F) boyfriend that I on-line with (33m) accused me of (his words) “playing with myself” while he was pretending to sleep. Truthfully, I was scratching my leg as it's winter and my skin gets pretty dry due to the heaters. I do it quite often but it seems like anytime a blanket is involved he tends to act reserved or wonder what I am doing. When I say my legs are itchy, he calls me “weird”…
I was crying earlier (not related to us, more of a work thing) while I thought he was sleeping and so I was wiping away my tears and trying to keep it quiet and so he used that as “me putting my fingers in my mouth” where I'll be honest, took me by complete surprise.
Our personal life is quite healthy, I would say, so I'm unsure as to where this is coming from and I'm not sure what to do. This is not an isolated incident either and so I do admit I did overreact quite a bit and get upset and went to sleep on the couch, without a blanket as to not upset him further.
Still crying and now I'm freezing. I just don't understand. I no longer feel comfortable touching my own face anymore, or my legs, or frankly anywhere in case he tries to bring it up again.
Or is it me and I should go apologize? A bit confused.
My husband and I playfully tell each other when we did the deed sometimes and than laugh about it together. Other times we joke about keeping the hands over the blankets. We are very much relaxed with each other. I only ever did it once while he was watching. I usually do it for me alone when he is not around. I wouldn't do it next to him sleeping.
The question here is if it bothers him and then why? Did you ask him.
And go and get yourself a blanket.
It sounds like he's using you to boost his ego and he's probably trying to find other girls to date. You're both young and 3 months isn't long enough to get really invested in someone. He's probably going to try to leave once he finds someone he thinks is better than you, so you might want to be the first one to exit out and find someone that thinks you're a 10
True but some just can't uphold their mask for that long.
Im shocked nobody mentioned this. She easily could have tampered with them and then stopped taking her birth control.
I swear that previous post was different before I responded. But ok
You can't fix this and he has no intention of changing.
Oh well I’m sorry that I’m such a horrible person bc
This emotional abuse works by making themselves the victim.
He only pays 300 a month in living expenses. Yes he has limited means, but their bills seem split to account for that.
He did get thoughtful gifts. He also bought the thing she wanted and then returned it when he got mad at her.
I more wonder if it's kind of a maturity thing. He's not a bad guy/she's not a brat. He just got mad and on impulse returned the intended gift. Yet, he was definitely still thoughtful and considerate.
I'm a woman and I check FEMALE on boxes at the DMV, the doctors office, on apps, oh hell I'm a female. I'm not the least bit offended by the terms male or female.
apologies for the weird titty remark. all titties are good titties. in out up or down.
I feel like this is the most fitting answer for our situation. It's like he can't just enjoy himself freely or feels ashamed when I “catch” him.. I'm not trying to embarrass him, just let me help you finish..
Why are you telling her all this? She feels entitled to all the details of your life because you’ve shared them. And you continue to keep sharing details with her!
How does your mother even know who your colleagues are?!
You need to put your mother on an information diet. Too much information is bad for her and you.
OP, I understand your reaction to what he wrote. But consider that he may prefer everything he wrote about you to everything he wrote about her.
People who are passionate and volatile can be exasperating to be with. The relationship can be filled with huge highs and incredibly deep lows. The relationship is very stressful and filled with lots of arguments, to the point that you can spend more time unhappy than you do happy.
I had such a relationship when I was young and it was hell. She was an alcoholic and I definitely spent more time being miserable than I did being happy.
My relationship with my wife of 27 years is a lot more stable and not nearly as volatile. Don’t get me wrong, we have our disagreements, but the seas aren’t nearly so extreme as they were with my ex. I much prefer being with my wife than being with my ex.
Time to toss him and find someone worth your time; whether it’s another person or yourself.
No one should be with someone who emotionally abuses them
If you don't want to compromise, you're just going to have to find someone who has similar goals in this way.
I didn't ask what we need. I know what we need. I was asking about this specific situation.
I absolutely realize that underage doesn't have to refer to the legal age. Anyone under 25 IMO can't handle alcohol well, especially a young girl at 19.
I think she’s overreacting a bit but you did mess up in my opinion. Yeah, you two are on a bit of a break, but if you were still honestly trying to make things work, then throwing up a heart on that girls story with the intent of stirring up conversation wasn’t a great choice to make.
This friend is unlikely to come around and doesn’t sound like he’s worth the time and effort? Is he in a relationship?
I don’t want to be rude but I just think we are in different environments and you just don’t understand how the people around me behalf. Nothing is happening other than some guy being petty it doesn’t call for this type of aggression. Also, any lack of firm conviction in my end isn’t a substitute for you to insinuate I’m not taking action or I’m not going to HR.
If you’ve said what you needed then there’s nothing more to add thank you.
I’m not being snarky but honestly asking about why you are blaming him for not taking chores on when he lives there too but not questioning why she shouldn’t take on some living costs like rent when she lives there? Yes he lives there, he should have some chores but she lives there too so should pay some rent. Why does she get to be financially free from all obligations but when the roles are reversed, he is supposed to support her but also take on household duties?
Plus it’s reversible
Stop spreading this idea. It is performed as sterilization, under the assumption that this will NOT be reversible. The fact that you can try to have it reversed and see if that works out isn't the same.
Stop.
This is where you remember that any person who thinks that behavior is okay, is not right in the head.
People who love the person they're with don't do that. Good for you for standing up for what you feel is morally right.
Is this the type of person you want to be with? That's what I would be wondering about if I were you. Is this worth it?
Can’t feel bad for a choice you may make, he has the chance to be honest over a year ago and should’ve done that. Don’t force yourself to be interested in something you’re not
Wow. Who'd have thought that a man who married someone 14 years his junior would start creeping on an even younger woman after rating her a 10/10? I'm shocked. Shocked, I tell you. ?
Your husband is a pig. File for divorce.
From what she wrote, he told her he had 300k, and didn't tell her that 150k of those weren't his.
I also wouldn't agree to let the husband borrow an extra 150k – if he couldn't save it up til now, how is he supposed to save it up in the future? People don't just grow fiscally responsible over night.
Everyone is different. If my wife did that to me, I would be mad, but then realized that she really made our lives better. You were able to save for a house. You truly got your partner to better himself, and it made your marriage better. I hope he sees the bigger picture and see how much better the quality of life you guys now have.
Sounds like he is lying to himself about his own thing and not really thinking of her.
You are right. I feel super guilty already .As probably someone mentioned I think I’m missing something in my relationship with my husband and I’m seeking that from my boss. Even the slightest attention I get , I feel great about it. My husband was close to one co worker from work in the initial days of our marriage and he stopped acting on it after I yelled at him . But im not taking revenge on him . I know I love my husband
Ask your situationship whenever he is taking you out.if he is not ready, then break it off, but you can't wait forever.
The responses to this are perplexing. I agree with not discussing bedroom issues with others personally. However, I've seen so many posts from guys uncomfortable their girlfriends/wives talk about their bedroom issues to their friends and people just tell him it's normal and to get over it.