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The guy she cheated with is a different guy. A boundary of no one on one hangout with her childhood friend would have been reasonable
She is pretty clear that you’re not her highest priority. You can accept that or break up, imo. You can’t force her to make you a priority.
Sleep on the couch, bruh.
It's only creepy if he's ugly/unattractive. But I agree that having obsessive unrequited feelings for a woman that you'll never have, and who doesn't want you, is unhealthy. It also just leads to misery.
He needs to move on and distance himself from her and find a woman that actually likes him.
OP has only responded to a single comment, as usual. OP also sounds like a 14 year old kid trying to tell a very serious, very provocative story
Down vote away but I’m with the people calling bullshit on this entire post. And whose first thought is to come to Reddit for advice on something like this anyways? Bizarre
You are better off alone. Younger me would make excuses for guys but then you find someone who really loves you (and mature yourself) and learn the difference. I couldn’t do it for nearly a year due to a condition. My bf never made me feel bad or talked to other women. That’s the kind of love you deserve and will find (:
Tell her you have a rule no buying for yourself during Christmas you never know if somebody got you something like it. Hopefully she takes the hint.
Get rid of him
If you weren’t married I’d say leave him tbh. My husband would never approach something that way. If anything, he’d buy me cute sweats to wear around the house or something. He’s happy when I’m comfortable. I also do my makeup and hair at home to look cute, but will wear pajamas too. He sounds like a dick. I’m sorry they hurt your feelings OP
To be fair, mental illness doesn't have to only mean disorders like schizophrenia etc. She could be using shopping as a coping mechanism for stress, depression, anxiety etc etc, to which she would certainly benefit from psychotherapy.
Secondly, the “she's 27, she's young” arguments always baffles me about US culture. 27 year old is an adult; an adult that clearly needs counseling on making “adult” decisions…this is where psychotherapy would come in handy, to sort out any underlying issue. It doesn't have to get severe before seeking counseling.
I agree, taking over control/access to her finances is a weird suggestion; she's not an infant or toddler;
This is a relationship you shouldn’t be in, he clearly lacks respect for you.
I just want to point out though because so many of the comments believe the opposite… there’s nothing wrong with dating someone a decade older than you. You’re both adults and are entitled to make your own decisions. If you’re going to date someone older though, make sure it’s someone who has their shit together and are actually mature.
Dude if you relapse on coke, it will still be better than having anything to do with her at all. If they would force me to choose between coke and a single interaction with her, I would be Tony Montana.
The only and one thing you should be scared of is hearing of her ever again, and your only thought how to put as many parallel universes between you and her as possible.
Did I make myself clear enough?
And I can understand insecurity, but I hate it when I tell her the truth and it just gets brushed off like it's a white lie
LOL, this post can’t get any worse…
These people are psychos. Get out of this relationship and block these weirdos in every possible way. What kind of a grown man takes his girlfriend’a illegally opened mail to his mommy and asks her to organize it so he can then berate and chastise his girlfriend?! What a creep!
Run! Run as far away from these lunatics as you can.
No, she didn’t. If things are great between us, there’s no STD or other health risks (testing before sexual activity is the best indicator of this, protection is another) and there are no jealous exes hounding her, why would I give a thought to what she used to do? If there were something like alcoholism/ drug addiction/ criminal record/ stealing/ using guys for financial gain, something that would cause me major damage to my life, lifestyle, belongings, things of that nature, it does me no good to know that she’s been in relationships where she wasn’t committed. It introduces a reason to be concerned and question things when we’re not together. Sis overstepped. Heartbreak happens, and it’s not her place to tell a good relationship to be on the lookout, especially if nothing seems to be out of sorts. It could be this is the time and type of relationship that she has made the decision to focus on and make work, unlike the past.
Yea he sounds like an ass.
Don't even care about his feelings, just do it and send his parents a quick message saying “fyi we broke up so you may want to keep an eye on him” if you're worried about him maybe hurting himself
I got some news for you buddy. I don't think you're straight, and thats okay.
Talk to your pal and see how he feels, you can hopefully either put this behind you, or see where it goes.
Hope everything works out.
Because he’s talked about it before.
You don't get it.. and you never would, you're prejudging and you don't know the half of it, I'm deleting this shit and dealing with it on my own
This situation isn't fair to your dog. You have a choice: the dog or the boyfriend. I know it's not a choice that anyone ever wants to make. But if you choose your boyfriend, make sure the dog goes to a wonderful home, but don't hold it against the boyfriend. It's your decision to make and you have to live! with whatever decision you make
He chose to leave his family. He wanted you but he did it for him. He doesn't get to blame you for that, he doesn't to take his regrets out on you because you were there.
He's being abusive and this sort of behavior won't just stop. You don't have to feel bad for him, he did this all himself. He is an adult, even if he's not acting like one.
DON'T feel like you have to stay with him just because he left his family to be with you. You don't owe him that. (I'm saying this as a woman who left her husband for another man and would not want him to stick with me for that reason).
Also, I'm sure you do love him. Love is kind of silly like that, and love doesn't mean you have to be the savior or put up with that sort of unacceptable behavior. You can love someone and know they're not good for you.. and he clearly isn't good for you. He has a lot of growing up to do himself.
FYI, Well you made it to YouTube with this. You don't say if he broke up with You. I would suspect that he did. Reading your comments it is obvious you are not wanting to be monogamous. Hope you and your bf find what you are looking for.
If my partner didnt seem to care about my feelings/thoughts and often implied i was delusional i would break up with him. If my partner preferred porn to having sex and I had an unsatisfying sex life i would also leave my partner.
Document everything. Be on good behavior. Do the best to give yourself a good image in the courts and provide any evidence you can that will make her look bad.
I didn't even get through the whole thing I'm so disgusted. One thing you need to know is if you wanted to stop, and you told her you wanted to stop, she no longer has consent to continue. Seeing as she seems to ignore that, it's sexual assault at that point. If you didn't want to do anything further and she kept going, that's assault. You did nothing wrong, what she's doing is not funny. It does not mean she did a good job, it means she's not listening to you or choosing to ignore what you want and only caring about what she wants.
You have to both want a dog. That's not the case.
Those comments ought to be judged on their own merits. I hold absolutely no quarter for racism, or for gatekeeping culture, I think we probably all agree on the fundamentals here. But, looking at this comment in particular, objectively, where is the wrong?
What
“I (stupidly) assumed he was a virgin”
Yeah you are pretty stupid.
First, is this person actually your girlfriend, or are you just dating? Second, what is she hurt about? You need to explain what happened.
Here OP is 22, and throughout multiple posts from his deleted post history in January, December, and November, he was 19 repeatedly posting in the dirty snapchat sub looking to sext with older men and have a sexual relationship with them.
Most of the time women don't orgasms from sex itself, so don't feel bad or anything. Most women orgasm from foreplay since that trigger, so to speak, it outside the vagina
He usually says he doesn’t know who’s who & prefers me to have none of them I give him free use of my phone in general as I’m super open, I have no issue with him scrolling on my socials etc. just an issue with removing people or basically changing anything on them as they’re not his socials if that makes sense. I have nothing to hide & he has huge insecurities which I’m aware of but when I’ve done nothing it bothers me he gets like that.
Break up. Today.
Ofc he'll probably say it was “just a joke” and “nothing happened, babe.” But he's shown you that he is willing to intentionally hurt you and enjoys mind games. That's no way to live! and not someone you should trust with your heart.
Walk now and save yourself YEARS of heartache.
She believes that you should just be able to move past her betrayal and is still being selfish. I think the obvious thing is selfish on your part is that if she sees a future relationship with you she needs to leave her job.
You can’t get over it when she still works around it and it is a show of serious understanding she messed up. If she refuses it is time to break up.
You choose someone with behaviour you feel comfortable about.
You can’t grow with someone you don’t agree with their actions. It will just erode your relationship.
Why waste time otherwise?
OP,
Lets just say everything in your life with your GF up to that point was wonderful, Then yes she should of shut that down and she should stop gaslighting you. Now you have to ask yourself if you can either get over this or kill the relationship. If she is not going to take any blame then your relationship is already dying.
Up?
Not ok at all. How rude and selfish and inappropriate. She needs to pay you back and apologise
So uh… Wow. Yeah he's got serious jealousy issues. It also sounds like he's gonna end up getting VERY controlling. Would you be okay with this kind of behavior for the foreseeable future? If not I suggest you exit the relationship ASAP.
O.o what did he do. Are you anticipating chaos?
Thank you! That was very well put and concise while still getting at the heart of the matter. I appreciate you writing that out and sharing! Also helps to know it’s worked for you before! Fingers crossed it does me, too 🙂
Requested Context : Issues I want to talk about is just that click is missing , i feel we are different wavelengths and speeds , even banter is different nowadays and chilling out is not my style as much which we found out since living together
Agreed – MOH needs to sit at the table WITH Op if OP chooses to go through with meeting him and the MOH needs to be ready to shut his BS down the moment he even hits at being an AH.
Thank you to everyone for your advice and support. ? I can’t believe strangers are so kind and thoughtful. Update posted above.