Not everyone likes receiving oral. I personally am not a fan of receiving it, but I enjoy giving it. I have to already be very wired to feel any pleasure from oral.
Everyone's different. If she's not concerned, if she feels satisfied with your sex life, let it go.
No one wants to be mean but if you didn’t understand from his actions he probably just said he loves you to sleep with you. No person that truly loved anyone would ever do anything like he does. My wife was assaulted and I took great care to initiate it. He does not care about you at all. He’s just a distrusting human being who says what he needs to get laid.
Get a DNA test, convince him in anyway you can. Genetics are also a toss up, now if the baby had different facial structure or was of a different skin color then it would be a different story.
It’s really hard to forgive yourself and usually you are the last to do so, before everyone has long moved on. I have some experience here, as I treated people around me terribly, while my depression was destroying my life. I was running from one doctor to the next, sticking to all instructions to the letter and just got worse and worse, until I was bed bound and needed help washing. At that stage I was literally a ball of resentment and rage, interspersed with complete numbness. Again, I went to therapists, well aware that I needed help and didn’t get any – from one therapist to the next. Later found out, that the health system in the country I was living in absolutely could not deal with mental illness and I finally got better once I moved and got competent help. Now I’m better, those years still haunt me though. There are many excuses as to why I acted as I did and I am honestly not entirely sure, I could have acted any differently…however that still doesn’t make it okay.
Did you and your husband ever talk about that time? Have you taken full responsibility and has he forgiven you? Could you mention to him, that his sofa seating and 30 second cuddles are sad reminders to you, of what happened and if there is any chance you could maybe try sitting next to each other (promising you won’t push him!) or cuddling for 45 seconds next time? I feel open communication with your ‘victim’ is really vital in the healing process.
I do think you need to come to terms with the idea that the family is going to see you as a cash cow, they will see her like that and she will be motivated by guilt and obligation that has been ingrained in her since she was a child, also you won’t be able to save your future the way you wanted
You may have black and white thinking right now but that doesn’t mean it’s not something that can be worked on. I too have a weird sense of justice, especially with people making sounds. It’s taken me only 3 or so months of intense therapy to identify why that is
I recommend a therapist to help you. What I did was called “radical acceptance”. When you’re upset by something, take a moment and pause. Think about WHY you are upset by this. After that, think what anxiety or stress in your life is causing this to be bigger than it is? And ultimately, the acceptance piece, of admitting you hate it and that’s ok.
Not everyone likes receiving oral. I personally am not a fan of receiving it, but I enjoy giving it. I have to already be very wired to feel any pleasure from oral.
Everyone's different. If she's not concerned, if she feels satisfied with your sex life, let it go.
But it's HIS choice to not go to therapy. He is refusing to work on the problem, and nobody can force him to work on it.
Nope right outta there
No one wants to be mean but if you didn’t understand from his actions he probably just said he loves you to sleep with you. No person that truly loved anyone would ever do anything like he does. My wife was assaulted and I took great care to initiate it. He does not care about you at all. He’s just a distrusting human being who says what he needs to get laid.
Get a DNA test, convince him in anyway you can. Genetics are also a toss up, now if the baby had different facial structure or was of a different skin color then it would be a different story.
Weird. Mine said “Made in Taiwan”?
Lol I can tell you don’t live! or respect yourself so all this advice gonna be wasted , just wait till she cheats on you again
It’s really hard to forgive yourself and usually you are the last to do so, before everyone has long moved on. I have some experience here, as I treated people around me terribly, while my depression was destroying my life. I was running from one doctor to the next, sticking to all instructions to the letter and just got worse and worse, until I was bed bound and needed help washing. At that stage I was literally a ball of resentment and rage, interspersed with complete numbness. Again, I went to therapists, well aware that I needed help and didn’t get any – from one therapist to the next. Later found out, that the health system in the country I was living in absolutely could not deal with mental illness and I finally got better once I moved and got competent help. Now I’m better, those years still haunt me though. There are many excuses as to why I acted as I did and I am honestly not entirely sure, I could have acted any differently…however that still doesn’t make it okay.
Did you and your husband ever talk about that time? Have you taken full responsibility and has he forgiven you? Could you mention to him, that his sofa seating and 30 second cuddles are sad reminders to you, of what happened and if there is any chance you could maybe try sitting next to each other (promising you won’t push him!) or cuddling for 45 seconds next time? I feel open communication with your ‘victim’ is really vital in the healing process.
This is a boundary most people have, go ask 10 people on the street and 7 or 8 of them would have an issue with it
I do think you need to come to terms with the idea that the family is going to see you as a cash cow, they will see her like that and she will be motivated by guilt and obligation that has been ingrained in her since she was a child, also you won’t be able to save your future the way you wanted
So, he humiliated you and let you go for 2 hours to “cool off” cause you are not his priority, I don't even know in which level you are for him.
Of course, divorce him, the guy is a meaningless clown looking for the attention of this bunch of nobodies. Set yourself free
You may have black and white thinking right now but that doesn’t mean it’s not something that can be worked on. I too have a weird sense of justice, especially with people making sounds. It’s taken me only 3 or so months of intense therapy to identify why that is
I recommend a therapist to help you. What I did was called “radical acceptance”. When you’re upset by something, take a moment and pause. Think about WHY you are upset by this. After that, think what anxiety or stress in your life is causing this to be bigger than it is? And ultimately, the acceptance piece, of admitting you hate it and that’s ok.
Be kind to yourself.
“obesity” is a deal breaker for most people.
Get a lawyer and file for full custody.