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If my wife decided she wanted to hang out at raves as a hobby….cool.
If she decided she wanted to start taking random drugs, and hallucinogens to elevate herself to some other worldly experience…and that was not in my term of “normal”…I’d tell her “cool….but I don’t think we can be married while that’s going on”.
Just not the lifestyle I want to be around, or how I’d want to raise my kids…I’d cut my losses on that.
Damn, you beat me to it!
[Cat puppet stares into the camera awkwardly]
I think it's everything in moderation.
My partner and I on-line together and I work from home. She works out of the house like 3ish days a week and it's usually on an opposite schedule of my working time, but we are both massive introverts and I'm home 95% of the time.
There is a different feeling of being in a different room versus being alone in the apartment and I think it's a valid request of his to get some time. That said, it's also valid that you don't have to give in to every request. You live there, you pay rent, and you are entitled to your space. It sounds like you've accommodated him a lot and are very considerate about giving him his “all the way alone time.”
If he can't handle being told no, or he has a problem with not having an apartment to himself 50% of the time (or whatever percentage you would assign it), then maybe he isn't equipped to on-line with other people.
Has he lived with roommates before? If so, has he asked them to leave? Is he being thoughtful about you, as an introvert, getting your alone time (that isn't filled with you working or doing chores)?
Food for thought. I don't have any advice other than to sit down and think about what you feel is reasonable and what you need in this situation. Hopefully, if anything, acknowledge and advocate for your own needs in this situation.
I think she’s trying to give you a hand because she’s not brave enough to break up with you
I don’t understand why she asked you then. Or why she told you about any of it in the first place (dating profile, specifically that it’s only sex, etc.). Likely to try to hurt you. She easily could’ve did all of this without telling you and it wouldn’t hurt anyone. She needs to go ASAP.
Don’t change who you are. There is nothing wrong with having a personality. I say divorce so you can find someone worth your time or enjoy your freedom. He can go find that mail order bride he so desperately needs.
Most of my friends are Chinese or Chinese-Canadian. I’m half white, half Chinese and grew up/live in Canada. None of us act like this.
What you spend is none of his business unless you can't pay half of your bills.
Don't give him access to your finances, pretty soon he's going to be “talking” to you about your “unnecessary” purchases and giving you his opinions like “I could have used that amount to help pay off my debt.”
Your money, not his. Don't give him access and if it causes a fight, refuse to fight and just stare at him like he is a fool. There is no fight if you won't engage.
HE isn't entitled to your money. Seems he might be looking for a fight on your unnecessary spending. F him.
And he came to Reddit hoping for some justification…..
thank you. the pain is immense now, but i have time