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Hmm I think it depends on the income level. I’ve been at points in my life where work paid extremely well, but kept me so preoccupied that I didn’t have much time to do anything else except on the weekends. My wife’s job was partitioning the money, making sure bills are all paid/on autopay, maids were scheduled, vacations were planned, gifts and cards for friends and acquaintances were on time; that kind of thing. We didn’t need another income as much as we needed someone managing what was coming in, and it worked pretty well for us until she started banging our neighbors out of boredom
Run yes. But how to run? Do I need to give them reasons? A whole list of things? I'll probably be shot down if I do and end up buying into her tears.
It's wierd he'd date someone he has no romantic or sexual attraction to anyone.
I'd just recatagorize him as a friend as move on to date someone else.
My relationship has been fine up until this point.
So this one incident made you feel like his side chick?
Really!
This was…exhausting to read. You must be so on edge all the time. Nothing about this situation should be comfortable to you.
Please, I want you to consider truthfully here…
Why would you want to be with someone who has made it so clear that you are just a placeholder in his life until things work the way he wants them to and he can be with this girl?
Why would you want to be with someone who openly disrespects you and your relationship? Because she isn’t the only one doing that. The person disrespecting you the most here is him.
I don’t know you, but I know you deserve better. Everyone deserves basic respect in their relationship and to be a priority to their partner. This guy gives you neither.
We are currently saving for a mortgage and in a similar situation not wanting to spend extra money. I would say if you feel bad just buy here some small treats you know she loves. It doesn’t have to cost the world and it will put a smile on her face!
Updateme!
This is where Reddit normally will say “she cheated, leave her”
And while it is likely what happened, and if it is, she has blame, and you should leave her, the majority of the blame for the deterioration of your relationship is yours.
You don’t leave a relationship that is on it’s last legs for 5 months so you can go hiking. In doing that, you said loud and clear to her, that you are more important than your relationship, that you don’t care for her, and that in everything apart from name, the relationship is over.
That’s bullshit, she’s doing Ben
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If you’re willing to just stop talking entirely then surely it wouldn’t hurt to just be honest…
Just message her to say, “I gotcha, is there another way you’d prefer to talk if not IG?
BTW we had some great conversations over Hinge! I scrolled through them the other night and liked a bunch by accident as I scrolled. Sorry if it sent you notifications!”
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Might want to reconsider even being with someone who cheats on you and gaslights you as well.
I don’t know if she has or hasn’t I met her twice and don’t chat with her
EXACTLY ALL OF THIS
Your vision of the future is not the same as your girlfriend. You talk about your timeline. That's how you refer to it as.
Her timeline only seems to make it down the aisle.
What are her contributions to saving for a place to live! together? For a wedding? Does she have solid employment that she can support herself on? Is she going to keep working during the planning of said wedding and after? What are your plans for kids?
You only talk about your plan to save for a house and wanting to get a better and more stable job. All you talk about her is wanting a ring and a wedding. To the point she is bulling you into it.
Do not propose in Italy. The obvious being to not steal it from Mitch and Nora. But seriously dude, your post screams that you are not ready to get engaged or married. In fact, it almost talks like you don't want to but feel you have no other choice.
Man, you have so many options. You don't even online with her yet. Don't let her bully you into something you, quite frankly, don't want. At least not in for foreseeable future.
I’m a Latina and unfortunately this is normal. Fortunately there are those of us who know not to give handouts to family like this so my suggestion is to break up. Family mostly comes first in Latin culture
Carter knows very well how good and loyal of a friend I’d been to her over the years. He knows that whenever he did something to make her hurt, I would be there for her no matter what. Her and I were like soul sisters and he knows I never even thought about befriending him while I was by her side.
She crossed so many boundaries of mine and did so many unforgivable things that a reached my breaking point. It’s not about me being a bad friend, because there’s is no friend in this situation. Only an “ex” friend as the title states
I learned a long time ago that how people make you feel is important. If you feel shitty after hanging out with these people, that's important. If your husband makes you feel shitty, but you can't put your finger on why, that's important.
You don't need to prove that they are actually unkind. Your feelings are enough.
Good friends and husbands make you feel great about yourself. They build you up – they don't enjoy tearing you down.
Definitely ditch these people. If your husband makes you feel crap about yourself, ditch him too.
I know the love is still there, he shows it in other ways as well, but his time has been more or less taken up by video games and anime which could very much be a form of stress regulation (which imo isn’t healthy). I’ll try to see what other options I have and discuss this with him in another approach. Thank you for your advice
I went down this rabbit hole once with a very strange girl. They like bend your dick downward so if it gets hot it'll be painful enough to stop immediately. It hooks around your balls then goes around your waist so you can't get it off without a key. Calling it a chastity device is only partially accurate. It's kinda similar to the terms male and female circumcision; they're both fucked up. But one of them is way the fuck worse.
Not my cuppa tea. I've woken up with crazy erections too many times, I do not care to see what would happen. Probly push inward and blow my asshole out. And who wants that? Not me. No sir, not me.
Exactly. He’s not a toy you take out every once in a while. He’s not an accessory, he has thoughts and boredom and happiness and sadness and loneliness and confusion
Yep, you nailed it. There’s a veritable army of children I was raped and coerced into having before gleefully abandoning them. I can’t wait to traumatize them all with my email address in the coming years.
If she loved you she’d accept you and love who you are. She just wants to change you to suit her view of what she wants in a bf. This is toxic.
I would say the kids definitely don’t miss out and we live! comfortably. Never once have they gone without because we would rather save.
This reply is the exact thinking my wife has and I will be honest, i makes me squirm haha. It’s just so ingrained in my nature to save it. But it is nice to get another perspective.
Look into OPs posts. You predicted the future xD
Your poor wife is miserable and has received no support. I cannot imagine why she would want to have another baby. Have you asked your wife what she needs from you to make her happier?
If you’re not satisfied in your relationship just break up with her. You’re betraying her trust horribly.
Did he offer an explanation when you asked about it. I'm not sure why he'd quit.
You just broke the holy barrier of 2 people newly in love! At this point your BF has seen you in a certainly insecure situation. But he has fully accepted this situation as being normal. It is like having your first number 2 in eachothers’ house. It’s for both sides the ultimate form of telling eachother: ‘i feel 100% comfortable with you.’ Congratulations! You just found your significant other.
Since the decision on getting a vasectomy for you will depend on if you guys reconcile I don't think it should be something that should be on the table at all until you guys fully decided to reconcile or stay separated.
If she keeps pushing and you seem to lean towards not wanting to get one if you stay separated, it seems like you're the one unsure on whether or not you'd reconcile.
She's right about it showing you'd be committing to your relationship, she's wrong on continuously insisting about it though.
When you say no, what if I want kids with someone else if we don't work out, all she hears is: He's already thinking about moving on with someone else.
If you're willing to get this procedure done and you stay together what should happen is you saying you're willing to get one but not before the reconciliation. After you reconcile, you guys can discuss having a vasectomy or getting tubes tied 6 months after that.
Otherwise it doesn't seem like it'll work out because at this point it seems like this is just going to show how incompatible you'll if you were to get back together.
Generally I'd say suggesting her to get her tubes tied is the wrong thing as it's a more invasive and difficult procedure but if she's the one insisting on permeant birth control for you and ignoring your boundaries, then I think it was fair to make the suggestion to her.
It sounds like you guys need marriage counseling if you're not already getting it.
You are pretty gross. Knowingly slept with a married woman and now trying to use extortion to attempt to force her to have your child because you have some fantasy that she will leave the husband for you. Or you are planning to try to use her as an incubator so you can have a child. What makes you think you’d get custody? By the time this all went through the courts for you to establish paternity she’d be well established as the primary parent. If you think because you have more money you would win you are wrong. Also the little problem that you will likely end up losing your job for being an unethical person.
Consider going no contact for a bit after she's out?
Yeah but people that are into breath play and consensual choking are all about informed, enthusiastic consent. You never just choke someone out of nowhere, especially the first time they’re together, that’s crazy.
I don’t think you are being unreasonable. The chick has demonstrated time and time again she likes your bf and I’m glad he doesn’t like her back but why would he put himself in a position for her to do something? I don’t think your bf is thinking about his actions.
Example 1) they are all drunk and she climbs into his bed and since he’s drunk too, he thinks she’s you and something happens
Example 2) their friends forces them to partner for stuff and she kisses him by surprise and then she says to you he kissed me back and tells you to break up with you.
I can come up with more if he needs to see how his life can change.
Thank you. Yes I can also understand her side that's why I wanna make things right. Unfortunately it is really something I can't control. I will try viagra.
Point blank, has your girlfriend RSVP’d that yes you will be at BFFs wedding? If she has, etiquette says you go to that wedding. If not, separate and go to different weddings. The world won’t fall apart.
I don’t won’t to ruin a friendship at the end of the day.
Then don't shoot your shot.
I just don’t know if I’d be making a mistake that could cost everything.
Very likely cost you a friendship and also any possible future relationship too.
All my friends tell me to go for it because I have nothing to lose but they don’t understand the friendship me and her had.
Your friends are probably single, also 20, and don't know shit about fuck.
Some people use to say that we looked like we were a couple at first with how friendly we were with each other
I'm trying to not be patronizing, but I eye rolled and sighed reading this.
Can we stop pretending that you just want to be friends with this woman?
Let's give you the benefit of the doubt and say you want to date her, and not just have sex with her. Before that can happen, you need to figure out some things:
1) Are you ready for a serious relationship?
2) Is she interested in you that way?
3) Is she ready for a serious relationship?
4) Are both of you over your exes and able to be emotionally available?
5) Is you being her friend's ex going to be a dealbreaker for her?
If you actually want things to work between you and her, then you need to figure out all those things before you shoot your shot.
If all aren't true, then it's either going to blow up in your face or crash and burn.
They were renting with K's other boyfriend before A obtained his house. A obtained his house and offered for K to move in as she couldn't afford the increase in rent without A's rent. K's boyfriend has since bought out the apartment from the owner and owns his apartment outright. I have since become friends with him, and he's part of one of my DND games. K doesn't like it that I'm friends with her partner either, even though I have no feelings for him and have never slept with him.
Oh ok I see