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You deserve way better than this! That is a way cruel of a mindset to put into someone's head – a real partner will think you are beautiful every day. Please try to not listen what he says anymore because it sounds like utter bullshit.
Don't settle for a man like that who says those things and then dares to call it as a “fact” generally, like he is some Einstein that knows everything that comes to those things. Don't LET HIM TAKE ANY MORE OF YOUR TIME, PLEASE. You go find a better man for yourself, i know it's easier said than done but i really hope you take care of yourself and realise that you are better off without a person like that in your life. I hope you also remember that what he says DOESN'T DEFINE you.
You deserve better. You can still be beautiful and sexy even though it might not feel like it after such harsh words, he is just one, not really that special of a guy according to this. The way you express something, really matters. You gotta be careful with other people's feelings, if he wants out, he could've expressed it much less hurtful way but i really hate that he said it like that to you.
He can go wank off to his “so called” “more ideal” women. Please, also, you NEVER DESERVE TO BE COMPARED TO ANYONE ELSE. This society is cruel in a way how it compares people to others. Women and most likely also men get compared to people whose job is to look perfect every minute of the day with all kinds of ways. Sometimes it's like there's no realness – we are all humans, with our flaws, no one is flawless, not even celebrities. Often it's forgotten what makes a person really unique and beautiful.
It's the way were made to this world by our looks and by our personality. We constantly give others something either with our smile, our personality and with our closeness. We can't give in to that view what the whole world wants that everything is shallow. We don't have to be perfect, we can be beautiful by both ways, by how we look to someone and what is inside of us.
In moments like this, it's good to realise, this person wasn't right for you to begin with. Just take care of yourself, okay? Find some way to not be around someone like that and focuse on yourself, making yourself happy and finding new, good people into your life!
My bf got a boner just from me doing a lil dance for my dog in the kitchen. I was not dressed cute or anything and I was sick. I’m personally fine with him watch porn bc I do as well and when he masturbates at home he usually needs me there to finish. One time he masturbated right before I got home and was so sad he had wasted a nut lmao. I don’t have to do too much to turn him on honestly and I promise you I’m no model but he does find me attractive. He also just wouldn’t say anything like that because it’s incredibly sexist. He does find other women attractive and so do I but the reason he prefers me over women online is because he enjoys being with someone he knows and loves over strangers. If your husband prefers to masturbate to strangers bodies or is more turned on by then then to him sex is just an act you do, a means to an end. For him it’s not about intimacy or connection unless he’s fantasizing about being with these other women.
Being both the daughter and the sister of doctors, let me tell you: your workload will always be higher than most. This moment is not the exception: it’s the rule. If you really want to be a doctor, you need someone who can deal with an absent partner. I chose a different path because I want to put my relationship first. But I will also never make the money my sister does. It might be painful now, but you need to find someone who is REALLY okay with the doctor lifestyle.
That’s one of the most insensitive things you could have said to your partner.
Don't tell them in the moment give them a chance to prepare or they'll feel ambushed. When they seem like they are in a good headspace tell them you have something a bit uncomfortable that you need to talk to them about and ask them if they'll let you know when they feel up for a talk.
When you have the talk don't dump everything at once. Say something like you enjoy sharing things with them. You think they're a great person (if true) but you have a personal pet peeve about rehashing dreams or repeating stories. Tell them that you haven't been good about communicating that boundary but you hope that they can respect it going forward and that you also hope it doesn't discourage them from sharing other things with you because you really like that about your friendship. If they seem to get defensive tell them that you value their friendship and you believe that establishing open, honest communication and boundaries is the best way to maintain it. In your own words of course.
If they are unable to take this in and respond in a healthy, adult way that's a them thing not a you thing. You are responsible for compassionately communicating your boundaries not for how people chose to respond.
Once you have established this dynamic you should be able to set more boundaries as things come up and they will probably have some for you.
He gave you a parasite that crawls out of your asshole and makes your butt inch. He apparently knew he had these parasites, because his butt itched enough to give him insomnia, but he didn't warn you about it, presumably because he wanted sex.
And all you're asking for is to sleep in separate rooms until both of you are pinworm free, he got upset with you?
You're right not to trust him. He sounds selfish, and is willing to lie by omission to get want he wants from you.
You need to make your own choice, but I'd dump him like a dirty pinworm.
You're not expecting too much, she sounds exhausting. Just the grumpiness would wear me out. I feel like you would be SO much happier with someone who matches the good energy you put in. This is no way to online.
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And somehow the gf was the one who got comforted. That is some advanced manipulation crying right there.
It suuuucks. I feel like he’s so genuine and a good person. Just that he is immature
They’re both being childish tbh but it’s still not abuse
Thank you sooo much!!!??☀️
You're very welcome! Best of luck 🙂
Lol, what a joke. This sounds like its coming from a pathetic porn consuming closeted compulsive chicken choker whos never had a fulfulling long term relationship in their life.
He can't bring himself to like a DOG?!?!?!
The public hair thing is neither here nor there for me. I have shaved before even when I'm not expecting to get laid. It's a bit like shaving your face or getting a hair cut – sometimes it's to look nice for someone and sometimes it's just for you.
In saying that, her deflection was weird. Maybe she didn't want to say “I shaved it with the intention of seducing you, and then you were a big dickhead and I didn't want to”. Or maybe she did shave it for someone else.
But I definitely wouldn't say shaved pubes are an indication of cheating.
All of the other stuff though – yeah, it's possible. If you think she's cheating, regardless of if she is or not, your trust in her is broken.
Wow you are in a conundrum for real. I’m not sure you will ever look at your bf’s family, the same again. You could never trust them. The enabling and making excuses from his family shows just how dysfunctional they are. If you have kids you will always worry when they around his family. You are young, RUN.
Well said
Did your parents not replace it? Or did they not know about it?
ITT: a lot of victim blaming.
OP, look. I see you. I left one abusive marriage where the man totally changed his colours and took down his facade soon as I moved country to cohabitate. Even with support from a women's refuge, still somehow the very first relationship after this also ended up being abusive. Once again the man's behaviour changed as soon as I was 'locked in' (or so he thought) thankfully I used the follow-on support and was able to recognise it MUCH quicker and get back out and into refuge again, rather than losing more years of my life to a trauma-bond or being isolated from any support system.
The only difference is that I didn't have a kid from any of these. But this is a very, very common abuser tactic.
Not labelling your partner an abuser just yet. Perhaps an adult that struggles with emotional regulation (could have trauma himself) We don't know, we don't have enough information. I just wanted to make sure you know this is NOT YOUR FAULT but it is your responsibility to not make the same mistakes as last time and you're at the crossroads here so it's perfect timing.
It's entirely acceptable for you to NOT want your parenting of your children, or anyone else's, to include raising voices/yelling/blaming of the children, etc. Your boundary was made clear and now it was just disrespected. So now is the time to remind him of the seriousness of his behaviour, how seriously you regard to impact you feel it has on your children (and don't want for them) and you need to establish what your solutions moving forward are now that he's broken the trust that he can't be trusted to reliably respect that parenting boundary.
I would remind him that 'I value the relationship, however I would expect him to recognise he doesn't have full control over his emotional regulation around the kids “That's not what I want for my kids (to be raised around yelling/screaming)” – and that I would expect a step towards gaining that to be put into action. Foremost that looks like taking parenting classes, and/or self-work whether that's in the form of therapy (anger management/group work, etc.) or 1-on-1 trauma-informed counselling, and so on. It could look like other things too, what matters is it's something where he will be held to account and will be working on his self and how he conducts himself when he is dysregulated.
If he's not willing to 'hear it' however or you actually fear his reaction in advance of bringing this up, you may be in another abusive situation and should start prioritizing yours and your kids' safety and perhaps locate a local women's refuge/emergency accommodation.
We didn't agree to be poly. we agreed to be mono. Which is why this stuff with the guy Dean is bugging the shit out of me.
Thank you
“Anyone who holds me accountable or who I think is a meanie pants is a misandrist :(“
Totally with you there.
I would rather try to pull beds apart.
She’s gotten a lot better with the silent treatment but it’s still not great. It sucks because when I first met her it was great. I made mistakes. They haven’t been repeated, but it still gets thrown in my face. I’ve been going through a nude time at work and she said she has PTSD from it.