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I’ve had conversations with my fiancé but he’s unsure what to do and also he’s going through an emotionally rough time right now. He started a business that’s taking longer to pick up because of the current economical market. He’s under stress & gets irritated quickly when it comes to wedding planning but also it’s not really wedding planning irritating him – it’s his own stresses with his career & he takes it out on other parts of his life.
I’m trying to learn how to enjoy the process of planning. He’s trying to be as involved as he can but it’s been a challenge enjoying the process.
Well I mean… I don't know. I know teenagers are used to having sex pretty early nowadays. But I don't know, some people aren't ready that young. Personally, I'd be quite frustrated waiting that long, but looks like you've found her worth the wait.
Maybe just give her a timeline.
Brain not fully developed at 24 years old?
Read more of this subreddit and see a lot of people who are not happy at all in relationships.
Honestly, as a guy, I don't see the benefit to being in a relationship.
Tell him that his behaviour this last week has made you see how gross he is and that it's a blessing that he isn't on the dating scene and to leave you alone because he's starting to creep you out and that he rejected you so why the fuck was he flirting now. Also record everything just in case he tries to twist it around
According to YOU only she gets a say. According to her he brought it up to her at least once and she ignored it.
Learn to hate him. Every time you think about him, you tell yourself you hate him for the many reasons you can already list.
The bloke sounds like a typical player trying to keep multiple women at once fighting for his attention. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter how attractive you find someone either physically or emotionally, guys like this are never to be trusted so its for you to completely cut him out of your life and don't ever forgive him no matter what pathetic “charm” tactics he tries to employ like leaving flowers.
True I may just get him like a decently nice Carhartt sweatshirt from Amazon
Tell him he can say the same things. Then they'll all be in good (lying) company.
I'm sorry you have such a strange relationship with sex. It's pretty fun, especially when you find someone you like. Hopefully you can find a repressed conservative girl that shares your views on not having sex.
I’ll try that and see how it works, The food thing, he said he wasn’t feeling hungry and that’s why he choose not to eat and i told him regardless if you feel it or not, you need to take care of your body
Not saying this is not fake, but you really underestimate the dumb mind of the teenagers….
If you plan on breastfeeding your baby, DONT get a boob job. Also… dump this loser. Someone out there thinks you're perfect just the way you are. Find that guy. Throw this one in the garbage.
This is gaslighting at the finest. I would leave him as he's kinda an ass
I have off brand Benadryl and it comes in a bottle.
Joke's on him, coke tends to make your dick call in sick right before a big meeting.
Not clear, is she planning on bringing the guy to your place? Or is she just going out?
Call your mom, NOW. You were only 19, basically a child, she might well be so happy to hear from you. If that doesn’t work, call everyone else you’ve cut contact with. And very importantly get out. He will NOT change, he will hurt you again, and if you keep the pregnancy (which you don’t have to) he will eventually hurt the child. If you really can’t find anyone at all then go to a women’s shelter.
So nine years and he didn’t want to get married, but is now getting married?
Sounds like your GF’s ex wasn’t being honest and should of cut her loose after three years cause they clearly wanted to get married… just not to her.
Or it was like my parents situation… my dad never wanted to get married, my mom said she wasn’t going to be his GF forever. They either get married or she walks. They’ve been happily married since 1984, still in love.
I’m guessing this could of been what happened.
But also, Op, idk if she is still in love with her ex. She could be mourning all the time she wasted because he told her he was never getting married then poof he’s now getting married.
I too would feel hoodwinked by my ex for suddenly changing his mind on something like that and would be wrestling with the feeling of this.
Plus you two have only been together for eight months not like two years. Unless she was cyber stalking her ex for those four years after they broke up, has discarded most of his stuff he gave her, it’s safe to say she moved on and is just mourning the overnight change of her ex’s stance on marriage, making her realize he never wanted to marry her and looking at how much of a waste nine years went down the drain!
Cut her some slack, don’t break up, but ask for some space from her. Get some perspective.
I say this as my one ex, two weeks after he got engaged (this was 2018), his fiancé contacted me. We never talked nor met, she message requested me on FB, wanted to ask if he ever cheated on me or if we got together while they were together (both are no’s!), and at the end rubbed in my face they got engaged two weeks prior. My heart dropped into my stomach and mourned hearing this news. But it was more so hearing it from her than him that hurt.
It’s sometimes difficult if you hear the last person you ended things with suddenly not have commitment issues… makes you wonder why they didn’t want to settle down with you.
So Op, take in what I’m writing and ask her why she’s mourning this so much. It might give you insight to what’s going on with her and how it’s impacting her.
He'd think I'm a dried up bag at 34. This man is trash, throw him out!
Sounds like your husband’s family’s mindset about family finance does not align with yours. I’m not saying that either of you have to be right or wrong. My speculation is that you and your husband’s family have different ways of money management. I believe that in some cultures, the man is expected to not only take care of his parents but also his siblings, before his own wife. It sucks, I know. My dad thinks similarly to your husband regarding family finance.
Again, I’m not siding with your husband. But I totally understand where the both of you are coming from.
It sounds like your husband still cannot make up his mind about what to do. I’m not wishing bad luck on your marriage but if you cannot change him, think about what you can do in your power that will at least ensure YOUR OWN financial security in case of a separation or divorce.
I hope things work out in the end.
What's HR going to do other than make things more awkward than they already are? Just play dumb and ignore them. If she wants to sit in the break room all day that's her problem.
Boy bye
Okay i know you think moving in together is going to make things better but based on statistics it's most likely going to make things worse. You guys need to work thru the current problems in your relationship before making such a huge step by moving in together, it's a bigger deal than most people think. it's why studies show that a lot of relationships end after couples live together.
Sounds like he has some issues with taking accountability for how he has caused issues in the relationship considering you said he blames 95% it on you. He could be right but he also could be completely wrong. You guys sound like you might want to look into couple therapy or individual therapy to work on those issues. If you guys can't move on from the past your relationship will not stay healthy or last.
I really hate to say it but do not move in together it will decrease your chances of a lasting relationship especially with the baggage and problems you guys already have. and you can look into it yourself
O.P., it sounds like you and his ex have a good provider, and his generosity to his ex probably has alot to do with his daughter's life and stability in addition to whatever bond remains which him provide better for his ex than he does for you.
It sounds like you have a reason to feel confused or jealous, but a better reason to feel grateful… Mostly because he set such strict boundaries on bringing it up without getting mad, that's a mature quality you shouldn't take for granted. His ability to provide for his ex + daughter is clearly more important than his current relationship with you, which may hurt or be hot to understand/ accept but he gave you the truth and a warning / ultimatum not to interfere in the way an ethical, mature person would.
I'm in the same boat, man. My girlfriend of 5 years split with me the day before Thanksgiving 2021. So it's been a little over a year, and now I'm finally starting to try to get back into dating (no luck yet).
But I'll give you some unsolicited advice that really helped me. 1. There is no way to get over the breakup. You have to get through it. There is no easy way. It takes time and a lot of it. Some days are easier than others, so go easy on yourself.
Take some time to be single. Set a time frame where you will be single, so for example, I said I wanted to be single a year before dating again. It doesn't need to be a year, but I would recommend 6 months. And take that time to “date” yourself. Go to the movies by yourself, and go out to eat by yourself. Get used to being by yourself. You should be 100% comfortable doing anything by yourself
Pick up old or new hobbies. I dove back into making music and started playing drums for 60 min every day. I started blowing glass again. I started going on back packing trips. Take the time to fall back in love with everything you used to do.
Better yourself. As cheesy as it is, but your body is a “temple” or think of it like a car if that suits you better. A car needs routine up keep to run properly. So start working out and exercising. That will boost your self-esteem and confidence and have the benefit of being great for your body. If your body feels good, your mind feels good. I would also suggest you try meditating. It doesn't need to be anything crazy. Just sit somewhere quiet for 10 mins and do nothing else but focus on your breathing. Feel air go in and out. That shit is great.
And just know that it gets better. And one day, you'll find someone deserving of your time and attention. Enjoy the ride of life, man, cause one day it'll be over. And you'll look back on this time fondly.
Hi, yes hello,woman here. I will say this, you are completely entitled to your feelings and if something makes you uncomfortable you should say so. However, to me it sounds like TOO much stuff makes you uncomfortable. You were stalking all of her social media almost hoping to find something incriminating, even the smallest of things. Everyone takes selfies that are gonna be flattering, almost every woman has puffed out her chest or butt in a picture to make themselves look better in the picture, it's not a ploy to try and attract someone else. She was probably distancing herself from you (not talking during lunch etc) because you were becoming way too smothering. Being accused of essentially being an attention seeking hoe, or being accused of cheating for any little thing you do, is EXHAUSTING.
The picture you shared seems completely normal and harmless to me, that's how I take pics with friends, hell, I DO actually sit in friend's laps sometimes because that's all we are to each other, just friends. It's all about trust, without trust, you don't have a relationship.
Do you honestly not know to reassure your partner when they're feeling insecure? Like, you just agree and let them feel bad?
Do you see a therapist? If not you should really try and get in somewhere. It can be hugely beneficial in helping you navigating difficult situations like this. I can’t encourage you enough to reach out to some local offices to try and get in to see someone as soon as you can.
I will also say that truly good friends would never make you feel this way. Good friends will always try and make you feel seen and loved.
You seem like you’re really a good friend, and I’m sorry that you’re feeling this way about people you’ve spent such a big portion of your life with.
I’m sorry I can’t offer much more, but what I do know is that I’ve felt similarly to the way you describe, and since then I no longer hang out with those people. I’ve been able to make a new group of friends who are all incredibly supportive of me and love me for who I am. Of course I had to work on myself along the way, but having a therapist really helped with that. I don’t see a therapist anymore, and I don’t feel that I need to because of the support and love that I’m shown by friends on a daily basis.
Good friends love you for who you are, see you where you’re at, support you in your best and worst times, and call you out when you’re being a dummy.
I hope this helps even a little ?
You say “lying by omission” as if it’s just understood that you tell your partner every detail about your life leading up to the relationship. I don’t think that’s necessary, and I would bet I’m not the only one. You can trust someone and know them very well without knowing all of their past. Also, finances and affairs are current problems. Her sexual history is not a problem and it’s not something that would necessarily affect their relationship at all so imo it’s irrelevant whether she shares it or not
I immediately thought of him too
When she first comes over it isn't that bad honestly, I totally would make it a part of my foreplay routine but shower sex in general is just too awkward for me and our showers are too small as well. I just don't want to hurt her feelings. It seems to just get worse for some reason, does she maybe have an infection or Have it some how given her an infection?
I almost moved states recently for my now ex. Turns out she realized she didnt love me once she started going out by herself and meeting other people. She very unceremoniously broke up with me at the end of a phone call, then proceeded to be very rude about me when talking to shared friends. Turns out there were some feelings of hatred or something for me “trying to force her to stay in the relationship”. I've seen the same happen elsewhere. Feelings of anger and resentment can bloom pretty quickly when one party views the other as trying to force the relationship to happen, which usually ends in cheating.
Don't waste your love on someone who doesnt want to give it back. I'm sorry OP but she told you what your future was already, not being together. I know the dating scene sucks, but find yourself someone who actually loves you.
This man is a complete savage. That's a crazy situation. I'm sorry.