I appreciate the convo back and fourth though. I one of those individuals without a real support system where I online. It's all his family. My friends all online further away too ?
You need to leave. Do you really want to have a baby with him? He obviously doesn't mind cheating on you.. he doesn't mind having a baby with this side chick. You are a means to an end with him.
Women☕️ I don’t think you crossed the line, she can’t take the joke, I always tease my girlfriend, she should’ve just politely said to not make this kind of jokes with you ever again. Maybe deep down she’s guilty of cheating on you and she wanted an excuse to break up with you..just saying
52m here and former victim of cheating partners. I am now old and experienced enough to offer some gained wisdom here.
She cheated. No two ways about it. You have every right to be angry, upset, broken-hearted and any other emotion you are feeling right now.
Hold off on any major decisions until you have calmed down and been able to think rationally about the situation. Consult a lawyer, see a therapist but allow yourself some time to process this betrayal.
Cheating happens. It sucks. It's never justified but there it is, a part of the human condition. You aren't the first and won't be the last victim of cheating. In my experience, not all cheating is created equal. A one-off incident is much more forgivable than a pattern of cheating. Ultimately, you have to decide if you can forgive….but only after getting the truth from her about why she did it and how many times. I've seen all kinds of horror in my life – war, terrorism, rape, the death of two of my own children, and more. So, while cheating is terrible, it is not the worst life can throw at you.
Whatever you decision you make for you, will be the right decision.
Remember, her betrayal is NOT a reflection on you, your worthiness as a man, husband, or father. It is a reflection on her character. Her weaknesses. Do not let yourself think that somehow you are reduced in value or that you failed. Life will go on and will get better and better once you get past this.
It is very likely your marriage is over, there will be nothing you can do to change that.
Now is the time when you focus on you. She is no longer your concern. I don’t mean that you be mean or treat her poorly. But without kids, she no longer needs or should be a part of your life. She has rejected you and the life you had together. It hurts. Badly. Betrayal takes a long time to heal from.
But you will. But only by focusing on you and your well being. Work out. Journal. See a therapist. This event will stay with you for a long time but you get to choose how it affects you. You will grieve. Accept that. Allow it to come and let it pass. You will get better.
And you will thrive.
Many of us have been there and become better people because of it. You will too.
It’s been her way or the highway the entire time. She’s just been subtly reminding me of that over the years. This kind of abuse can take a long time for the abuser to come to their senses and realize what’s going on which is why I can understand some people on here think I’m the asshole. It also doesn’t help that I’m the husband and she’s the wife.
Honestly. I’m going to for real. If I was in your shoes I would think he doesn’t care. He broke your bounds multiple times. You have trauma that he finds “hot.” That’s not someone you want to make your spouse. It will only continue or get worse.
Yeah what the hell this sounds HORRIBLE Op. this is not normal and the complete opposite of a healthy situation.
If I cry, my wife will be right there to comfort me. And I don’t attack her ever because I suspect she’s “playing with herself in bed” wtf wtf wtf
Everything op described sounds wrong and bad to me, op do you have friends and family nearby
I appreciate the convo back and fourth though. I one of those individuals without a real support system where I online. It's all his family. My friends all online further away too ?
You need to leave. Do you really want to have a baby with him? He obviously doesn't mind cheating on you.. he doesn't mind having a baby with this side chick. You are a means to an end with him.
Women☕️ I don’t think you crossed the line, she can’t take the joke, I always tease my girlfriend, she should’ve just politely said to not make this kind of jokes with you ever again. Maybe deep down she’s guilty of cheating on you and she wanted an excuse to break up with you..just saying
Didn't read the body because the caption is enough: run!
I would’ve left years ago.. your gf is either weird or just not into you.
52m here and former victim of cheating partners. I am now old and experienced enough to offer some gained wisdom here.
She cheated. No two ways about it. You have every right to be angry, upset, broken-hearted and any other emotion you are feeling right now.
Hold off on any major decisions until you have calmed down and been able to think rationally about the situation. Consult a lawyer, see a therapist but allow yourself some time to process this betrayal.
Cheating happens. It sucks. It's never justified but there it is, a part of the human condition. You aren't the first and won't be the last victim of cheating. In my experience, not all cheating is created equal. A one-off incident is much more forgivable than a pattern of cheating. Ultimately, you have to decide if you can forgive….but only after getting the truth from her about why she did it and how many times. I've seen all kinds of horror in my life – war, terrorism, rape, the death of two of my own children, and more. So, while cheating is terrible, it is not the worst life can throw at you.
Whatever you decision you make for you, will be the right decision.
Remember, her betrayal is NOT a reflection on you, your worthiness as a man, husband, or father. It is a reflection on her character. Her weaknesses. Do not let yourself think that somehow you are reduced in value or that you failed. Life will go on and will get better and better once you get past this.
I’ll try telling her. But they’re engaged so she feels stuck. Hopefully this will knock some sense into her
Only if you leave him.
Break up with her and let her find someone who wants the same as her. Anything else is truly terrible.
It is very likely your marriage is over, there will be nothing you can do to change that.
Now is the time when you focus on you. She is no longer your concern. I don’t mean that you be mean or treat her poorly. But without kids, she no longer needs or should be a part of your life. She has rejected you and the life you had together. It hurts. Badly. Betrayal takes a long time to heal from.
But you will. But only by focusing on you and your well being. Work out. Journal. See a therapist. This event will stay with you for a long time but you get to choose how it affects you. You will grieve. Accept that. Allow it to come and let it pass. You will get better.
And you will thrive.
Many of us have been there and become better people because of it. You will too.
Only thing I would say to that is do t concede to someone who doesn’t put you first. That doesn’t bode well for future events…
Are you able to provide advice on how to approach the subject?
Wrong sub
Before you post in a new sub try reading community info first
It’ll provide you with the rules and guidelines to posting in that specific sub
This sub is for relationship advice to a specific situation between two or more people
✅ I’m one of the most people who thinks this is a mess. He needs to ?♂️.
You’re 20. No need to worry about choosing baby names especially with a misogynist prick. Go and enjoy your 20’s and have fun.
It’s been 4 months Lmao oh God.
Posts like this really confirm how normal I am
It’s been her way or the highway the entire time. She’s just been subtly reminding me of that over the years. This kind of abuse can take a long time for the abuser to come to their senses and realize what’s going on which is why I can understand some people on here think I’m the asshole. It also doesn’t help that I’m the husband and she’s the wife.
Only the ones listening to stupid and toxic podcasts…
Honestly. I’m going to for real. If I was in your shoes I would think he doesn’t care. He broke your bounds multiple times. You have trauma that he finds “hot.” That’s not someone you want to make your spouse. It will only continue or get worse.