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You are a special kind of cruel.
he never meant for it to happen or plan to be with someone that young, he kept repeating they where both adults
I always find that ridiculous….no one held a gun to his head. He could have easily walked away, but he decided to date a teenager. Yes, at 18/19 she was legally an adult, but most likely in a completely different life stage, with a different timeline, with a large maturity and life experience gap.
He’s so loving and caring in every other aspect, more than anyone I’ve ever met, complete dream.
You're in the earliest stages of the honeymoon period….not sure why this is so surprising….
But from that argument I realize he hides things/conflict
What else has he been hiding?
Just tell her that you don’t feel comfortable sleeping with another person besides her, that’s all you need to say and she should understand as any reasonable person would. As a mother, I am surprised she would even propose such an arrangement at all.. for multiple reasons. Just don’t take this out on a kid, he is only 6 and innocent. His mom is trying to force a relationship between you two. Honestly, I find it worrying that she would let her child sleep next to her partner
Breakup… he will continue to cheat
Unfortunately this is what happens when we create the narrative that all men and teenage boys want is sex. Predatory women get away with these things and the victims are never taken seriously. We need to starting taking SA seriously without even caring ab gender bc more ppl are harmed in the long run 🙁
Leave now and run for the fucking hills, you trust her far too much and shes shown clear as day that you shouldn't
Leave and let her go back, time how long it takes her to end up back with em i bet you its not gunna be any longer than a period of 48hrs after you kick her to the curb!!
You have to find a way away from him. Abusive people always say sorry and it won’t happen again. It will just keep happening.
Girl thats so much worse. Give yourself some self respect and realize wearing the condom was being respectful to you. Protect your body!
It sounds like you're both very young. He needs to be seriously punished for what he's done. He needs to know that that behavior is absolutely unacceptable. Please please please inform him the relationship is completely over, and then never contact this monster again.
Thanks man
You insulate your life and that of the children from the outcome of the behavior. If that means the mom divorcing the dad to protect the kids, if that means the calling child protective services to get the kids a better home if the mom can’t or won’t divorce, then do it. Yes the simplest option for you would be if he quit, but he’s not, so you need to live your life and protect vulnerable people from his behavior. Not try to control his behavior because as you’ve learned he’ll find a way to drink regardless of how many bottles you find and get rid of. Google codependency and check out the subreddits on that topic as that’s where you’re heading if you keep trying to control his behavior. And then google loving detachment as that’s what’s needed here.
Yeah I know, it's just… Why allow that kind of treatment…
NTA and a short story why… On my second or third date with my now wife of 30 years I blew off a friends offer of a movie to see her. He jokingly told me she’d better be important… So, in response, I said, “Tell you what, if I marry her you can be best man!” …. I liked her a lot already, but we were far from there, and, equally, he was a friend, but not a best best friend…
I kept my promise… it was great … They had basically, if only implicitly, the same deal with you, and broke it.
NTA
If both parents have blue eyes and the baby doesn’t have blue eyes then there’s like maybe one in ten millions chance only that the baby is both theirs !
OP needs to do a DNA test because it is quasi certain (like you have a better chance at winning the lottery certain) that the child isn’t from the father. The big question is, is that child also not the mom ?
I think it's time to take this relationship around back and shoot it. Though looks like you already did just finish the job.
??????
Keep it a secret or don’t, up to you. But she’s definitely suffering consequences. Losing your respect and trust is a huge one.
You are already engaged after 1,5 years, that says a lot.
I don’t think you’re wrong. I get that your husband is feeling ill and just wants to stay at home to recuperate – especially since he haven’t seen his family for 2 weeks due to travel delays. But he’s putting you, his baby, and your parents at risk. It’s unreasonable for him to expect that he can isolate at home (with no closed spaces) while exposing everyone at the risk of catching covid.
Covid sucks. But what sucks more is seeing your love ones suffering from it and you’re struggling to care for them when you’re suffering from it too.
Send your husband some food and meds often. It might help him feel better that he’s still being cared for (even if it’s at a distance).
No, my comment above is meant to soothe you so you can go ahead and ask, because you will never achieve anything if you are not ready to engage.
Sitting down and thinking will get you to a certain level but going out and doing stuff, now that is another thing all by itself.
She doesn't want to break up with me when I asked her
I can't believe people are getting mad at the sister telling the boyfriend about the serial cheater and not the person who is a serial cheater. If serial cheating is totally ok then you should be proud to immediately share it with your partner, not feel ashamed and defensive when someone else brings it up.
I know, I dont own her. But its making me uncomfortable, I cant deny that.
And I am matching what you give me. While I was harsh, I didn’t use mocking phrases or terms as you do in every comment that disagrees with you. Your response makes it seem like you only care that I disagreed with you and didn’t even bother to read or consider the rest. I saw what you wrote in other comments. I hope you don’t tell me to come back when I get a man or that my opinion is only made of fictional shows, something that you even admitted was affecting you.
Don't stay with someone just because you want a kid. Hitting below the belt is indicative of resentment and a lack of respect. PLEASE DON'T MARRY HIM!
On the one hand, ‘he doth protest to much’ on the other hand you have made up your mind, and you did imply something happened, and it probably doesn’t matter at the moment, and definitely not when you asked your question to him, what he said or did.
How trustworthy and respectful has your husband been in the past? Has there been anything to give you pause, even though it ended up being nothing?
If yes, then cameras, or forgetting something after you leave to come back and catch whatever is happening – you need more proof before you do anything permanent.
If no then talk to him about it, tell him that you just want to know what is happening, did he notice her going anywhere near the bedrooms etc.
The gambit of possibilities runs from she went in there to just be nosy through to full on carnal adventures happening in there. But the smell alone of her perfume is not quite enough to make a firm decision on.
It’s sucks to put yourself out there again but once you do it will get easier and more comfortable
Women prefer men who know how to work with what they have. A big dick is useless and honestly hurts if you don’t know how to do it
I have no experience in the types of relationship you're having, and I know I'd be insecure if I were in your shoes. Having said that, you guys do seem to communicate very well, and there hasn't appeared to be any deception on either part. In the end, like all of us, we choose to be trusting, and hhonour ourselves and eachother by remaining trustworthy. I'd talk to her about where you're at. Good luck.
He doesn't respect you one bit. You deserve much much better. Get out of this situation asap. It won't get better.
I’m so confused. You expected him to confront you during his birthday while all the guests were there AND while you were already drunk and showing out? The way he approached it was corrected. He waited until you were sober and level headed.
I’m with everyone else, you’re immature as fuck.
Leave her alone. Do not show up at her house. It doesn't matter how long you've been together, she's being extremely clear. Let her reach out to you.
Why can’t you just tell her you have a girlfriend? Job done.
By telling him who you are
Exactly! Isn't being a woman fun!
Someone else might have fucked her without protection.
Getting a paternity test actually ensures he takes on his responsibility, but only HIS responsibility.
It is what it is ? it’s a reason I’m anonymous on here
Some public forum privacy v. Honor of marriage
Yeah, guess I needed to hear that. Thanks!
She…left you for another dude?? I'm so sorry man I can't imagine losing my kids like that
My fiancé told me about a few weeks ago that it makes him upset to see me happy instead of “sitting in it” (his pain) with him. I understand
WHAT THE FUCK did i just read.
Dump this asshole, what a miserable pos.
I agree with you, not him.
What did you vows say when you got married?? People nowadays always take the easy way out. A separation will affect your children and grandkids…. Ive been married 14 years and we all have those cycles… good luck to you OP, hope he gets better so you can stay together
He doesn't know your address, right? It is not public? If it is, message him one final time, be firm and then block him. If he can't get your address, just block him everywhere right away. No need to communicate more. He will get the message.
Next time, be firm. And do not offer to pay half the airfare for people simply because they chose to misunderstand things. This is how they end up pushing your boundaries.
In my state the law is crazy. Someone can be visiting and after two weeks they have rights. This is Florida. I have known a few women who could not just kick a boyfriend out in homes they owned, one was a tenant. In Illinois you are not a tenant unless you are on the lease as the owner has the right to know and approve of who is living on the property. So it depends on his residency. He does not need to get a hold of the woman’s work or the affair partner’s spouse. That would be escalating. He needs to severe all ties and move on with his life.
I would just be honest with her about everything you wrote here. It is well thought out and your concerns are valid. It’s not what you say but how you say it. I think if you bring these things up calmly and respectfully it will be fine.
John, your GF's strong abandonment fear — as well as her abusive and controlling behaviors — may be due to her having very weak control over her own emotions (i.e., a lack of emotional skills she had no opportunity to acquire in childhood). My exW has this problem. If that is an issue for your GF, you likely have been seeing 3 other warning signs.
First, you would be seeing her rely heavily on black-white thinking, wherein she tends to categorize some people as “all good” (“with me”) or “all bad” (“against me”) and will recategorize them — in just a few seconds — from one polar extreme to the other based on a minor infraction.
Because she also uses B-W thinking in judging HERSELF, she would rarely acknowledge making a mistake or having a flaw. Doing so would imply, in her mind, she is “all bad.” She thus would blame nearly all misfortunes and mistakes on you and view herself as “The Victim.”
Further, to validate her “victim” status, she would keep a detailed mental list of every infraction/mistake you ever did (real or imagined) and would not hesitate to pull out the entire list to defend herself in the smallest, most insignificant disagreement with you. Moreover, this B-W thinking also would be evident in her frequent use of all-or-nothing expressions like “you ALWAYS…” and “you NEVER….”
Second, you would not see her expressing her anger to casual friends, classmates, or total strangers. She usually gets along fine with them. Rather, her temper tantrums almost exclusively would be expressed against a close loved one (e.g., against you or her parents).
Third, you are convinced she truly loves you. But you often see her flipping, on a dime, between Jekyll (loving you) and Hyde (devaluing you), frequently making you feel like you're “walking on eggshells.” Such flips would occur in a few seconds in response to some minor thing you say or do.
John, have you been seeing strong occurrences of these 3 red flags?
A partner who truly loves you and cares about you would be happy to see you growing and flourishing.
It seems to me like he isn’t that partner, and he only liked you when you made him feel ok about being mediocre, because you were too. Now that you’re taking care of yourself, he wants to hold you back from being your best self because it shines a light on the fact that he isn’t his best self.
That isn’t love, you’ve outgrown him, and you deserve better.
you are a moron as she is using you to the max.
Go find another sane & loyal woman to be with. She is trouble & I don't think you want that + STDs
DO NOT ANSWER THE DOOR.
or might as well get a restraining order
Idk if this post is real or not. Obviously what you’re doing isn’t healthy. Try to at least have breakfast before taking the adhd meds and light snacks throughout. I know it cuts your appetite but, you need nutrients consistently. You can’t just be tweaking the whole time.
I’ve been feeling some malice to him
No shit. What a horrible thing to say. I think he's done with you and your malice. Yikes. Just awful.