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Yeah definitely prioritize that. Their request is not reasonable as a now adult person
I thought, what are the chances of that? lmao
Ok fine the answer is that your partner is a waste of time, they treat you like shit, that post from 2 months ago alone would do it. Find someone else and your life will improve.
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Why do people stay with partners like this? It just doesn't make any sense.
Wow. I was reading and was like that's a little creepy but still kinda cute crush behavior… until I got to the part where he said he followed you and wanted to assault you… Wtf! Noooooooope! And! And! Then he then tries to turn it around back on you by saying what's passed is past and he accepts you despite you not being worthy of him. (yes I know he used different words, but this is the true meaning behind them)
Once the honeymoon phase is over this guy is gonna treat you really shitty, I can all but guarantee it. Yuck.
Yeah this would make me question our future. Not just the event, but not being welcomed into the group when it’s THAT tight night is never gonna feel good for you no matter if/when things ever evolve. It’s been 9 years. Does your husband show any interest in your friend group and possibly spending more time with them together?
Your boyfriend failing to know how own limits with alcohol shouldn't fall onto you. Helping him with it should be you sit down with him, you discuss how his drinking is a problem, and you encourage him to not drink so much. What does that encouragement look like? I'd think it looks like you helping him come up with a system to quantify how much he's drinking (think a sharpie to mark on his arm each drink he has while he has them, and setting a limit at the start of the night like, no more than 5 drinks/shots that night) and then he keeps count, and he holds himself responsible for not going over his self imposed limit of 5. It shouldn't be you babysitting him by saying “hey honey, you've had a lot already, you should slow down”.
Not to even mention that you think you should rub his back while he vomits “if you didn't monitor well enough”. No?? That's not your fault, you are not on the hook for him drinking too much at all.
If you think that you're responsible to monitor how much he drinks, then it makes sense how you expect him to monitor your actions too (pulling you aside to keep you from embarrassing yourself when you drink too much is expecting him to monitor your actions). But those aren't healthy dynamics for a relationship.
Him supporting you to improve yourself and help you out should look like him hearing out your grievances with your roommates and working to improve that situation. It should be support in the way that it affects the actual core problem, so that you don't feel the need to “let it go” by getting wasted, so that if you do get wasted, you don't let it go by venting all your frustrations publicly.
You find yourself responsible to control his drinking. You then expect him to control how you act when you're wasted. That is toxic and controlling on both parts. Him helping you to be a better person is helping you become someone who doesn't get wasted and spend an entire night venting about people at the party. You helping him become a better person is supporting him in a journey to sobriety because it sounds like he has a serious problem with alcohol.
Finally, if you aren't in a financial position to break up with him and thats the reason you aren't leaving him, you're using him for your financial benefit. Which, again, is toxic.
You both sound bad for each other in a multitude of ways, but overall your understanding and expectations of a relationship sound controlling and toxic.
I do not consent to you physically abusing me into shape. Do you want me to contact the police?
This isn't a long-term relationship yet. What will happen if it doesn't work out? Will you have a lease or will he expect you to leave right away? Have you stayed with him for a week or more? Do you know his day-to-day cleaning habits? It's easy to clean up right before someone comes over. You can't really hide your habits after more than a week. You should wait longer.
You mean doesn’t want…
He is always like that?
Hi, married over ten years here.
Stop cleaning his shit.
You are looking at your future with him. If you become a wife, then he will ask you to pick his poop up. Or maybe your unborn kid. Your boyfriend is over 40s. Totally zero disciple for your kid.
Think twice before you say you do and you are ready for picking up poops for rest of your life.
But I'm not into any other guys but him. I feel a connection with him
No, because she’ll sleep with the guy. She might not do it so wait until they’re back.
I hope so
I'm barely older than you but you sound like a child.
The advice is that you're being childish. Yea the advice is to get over it. It's not fair to build resentment because she used to do things in her other relationships. That's not the relationship you two have. Sure, break up with her but honestly you'd just do her a favor.
This is entirely a you problem. Not a relationship problem unfortunately.
You'd be disrespecting yourself if you didn't break off this relationship. You'd be placing yourself in danger. Please break off this relationship.
to be fair, they are a very real thing.
if you have actual worms, that is. like tapeworm or hookworm. people don't just have worms in them and not know it, and taking these things if you don't have them is very, very bad.
You need to see a psychotherapist.
She's choosing him over her own daughter. Your gf already told her mother that he was abusive and she really didn't care. I doubt that will change if she hears about it from you.
This is a flaw with the mother.
I'm sure they are also unhappy that you are unemployed, at age 32, but feel like reminding you of it would be beating you down.
You are a failure-to-thrive adult, unemployed, living with aging parents, unable to have a meaningful relationship with a partner. Providing them with a grandchild is really not the main problem here. Don't go looking into adoption or surrogacy as a way to satisfy them so you can continue dodging “maturation” as your prinicipal challenge.
Start living like an independent adult – get a job (even though you are “not too interested”), move out, then start dating (even though your heart's not in it), and maybe as a fully developed adult you can return to the grandchild issue. Or tell them to pound sand. In any case you are wasting your life in the current situation.
I have very little experience with dating so I don’t really know what pace a relationship should move at or when is the normal time to hit milestones. I know every relationship is different, but my last one wasn’t great and my current bf is so sweet when we’re together.
He's being ridiculous and i agree it is likely to escelate. He's jealous and insecure.
So another man seeing u in ur pjs is potentially enough for u to cheat on him.. that's basically what he is saying.
He doesn't trust u. And so what you are going with a friends brother. Do u just open your legs for every dude u meet. I doubt that.
He's gonna definitely guilt u and try to manipulate u until you relent and stay at home.
Well yeah I mean you have to stop justifying things and see that you agreed to be the other woman and that, to most people, makes you automatically the bad guy. Even though he had checked out of that relationship, he was still in it. There was still a commitment. So you're gonna have to choose. Either ride it out and hope she stops eventually or get a r o and risk it. Actions have consequences. And sadly I don't think this was handled correctly. Now you have to work with what you have.
The first paragraph….. did he rape you? You were uncomfortable with him hitting on you but you slept with him? What?
He's going through with a marriage even though you cheated on him?
Do everyone a favor and call everything off and break up.