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Tell her you can't believe her. Why does she delete messages? The only reason is, to hide her messages to him. She is romancing him over messages, that is the reality, and you tell her you understand that.
If yoi consider break it's not bad option.
If you want to stay with her, she needs to promise to not delete any messages, hers or from other people (disable dissapeaeing messages feature, explicitly tell her you mention it, and will not tolerate, excuse she has forgotten about it).
Secondly, since she was rombcing him, she should cease any contact with her ex. She can tell him why, and block him after.
Thirdly no lies or hiding anything from now on. Ask her if there is something you would like to know, that she has hidden or lied about. Make it clear if you later discover she has, and she doesn't come clean now aboit it, you will have to leave her.
If she refuses either, you really need break up, for the sake of your elementary dignity.
Even with these agreed upon, if she breaches your agreement you will have to leave her, and she should be informed about it.
Besides that explain to her, that you don't know if you can ever fully trust her again, and it was her own decision to lie to you and make it so.
I wouldn't call it weak. I'd call it selfish. It's not like not being able to withstand eating up a whole chocolate im one sitting, there it's deliberately breaking his vows and hurting someone he pretends to love.
Maybe she works remote and is tired of being with her husband 24/7. Maybe she just wants some time to herself.