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Naively or not, I don’t believe he would ever do anything at the wedding. Even if he wanted to all our friends are there and there is too much at stake. He would be concerned about his reputation and all eyes would be on both on of them (another reason why I don’t want to attend).
Honestly, there could be a situation in which I decide I will go but I would need to see some actions on his behalf. This is why I suggested him to drop out as best man but still attend the wedding so he would limit his exposure to her. I just think of all the photos and moments they would be together as both being huge parts of the wedding and this gives me anxiety. To me it shows he is willing to make sacrifices and take responsibility for what he has done. I also feel it is a good thing for the couple for him to remove himself from any potential drama.
The issue with going is it does feel very humiliating for me. People at the wedding will know and it would be talked about and I don’t feel like I want to be a zoo animal for people to watch and read into my every behavior. Her sister and mother would be there and really I am there with his friends so I definitely feel as if I would be in my own corner. I feel me attending is putting a lot of pressure on myself but again not attending does the same. But I feel by not attending I am sticking up for myself and putting myself first, rightly or wrongly.