Putting myself in his shoes, I'd not want people to call me paranoid when I'm asking for advice either. Granted, this reeks of suspicious actions motivated by acts of two-timing so everyone is actually suspicious of her, but yes…
Yup my ex was the exact same way. Hated talking on the phone, she was insecure about her voice and the fact that she couldn’t make me laugh. I was grateful as I have ADD and just vomit words at a thousand miles per hour and go WAY off topic. Like right now.
However if the “initiation” is the real problem and he’s willingly being ignorant to your needs then I don’t blame you for thinking the way you do.
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You are right to have your boundaries. He wants an open relationship which is open from only one end. To most people this sounds like absolutely lunacy. He essentially wants to eats his cake and have it too. It’s not realistic nor fair.
He has the right to want to experience more, you guys are so very young. But experiencing more things on your expense is not okay or the sign of a good caring partner. Open relationships need excited consent from both sides – he’s just trying to half-force your hand here and it’s not okay. Break up, OP! It’s for the better!
I just think this is a guy who will disrespect any boundary you set and excuse himself by saying “Oh I couldn't control myself, I was too excited.” And that ranges from being too rough with you in bed to sexting/having sex with other people.
Tell her that’s inappropriate and not acceptable. Crying doesn’t mean she gets a free pass. She broke your trust when she knew you wouldn’t be okay with that.. not cool
Not I don’t want a violent man, maybe just one with more confidence. His confidence is quite low, and I find that that affects different parts of out relationship.
I can't read all these comments to see if it's been said, but you really don't deserve any of this. Your dad needs to stop venting to you and relying on you to try to get through to your mom. None of this is yours to fix or to help with, even if you want to. They're your parents, ffs. Even though you're an adult, it should be second nature to shield you from their drama. I urge you to set that boundary asap, for your own mental health and stability. You will no longer talk to them about each other. They will no longer talk about each other in your or your siblings presence. Period.
You are really sweet. Thanks for all the replies. I didn’t even realize this was considered abusive until someone here said it. I always thought verbal abuse was stuff like “I’m gonna kill you!” Things like that. He’s jokingly said that too though. Now I’m starting to think his jokes aren’t really jokes lol.
Do you like pedicures? He will learn to give you the best pedicures ever and he will be sooo grateful for the opportunity to do that. Do you like pretty shoes? Would you like to be told how beautiful you are while wearing them? Honestly honey, foot worship is such a sweet and cute thing. If you can relax into it you may find that it brings you both a lot of happiness.
You two are incompatible. In a multi-faith relationship, there has to be two-way respect for beliefs. One important note: just because one person doesn’t believe in a given holiday, they can still partake in the secular activities with their partner. The key here is, support your partner. BF could have still wished her Happy Easter and spent sone time with her, without participating in the religious side of it. I always wish my Jewish friends Happy Passover and Happy Hannukah even though those aren’t my beliefs. I also know many Jewish people who exchange Christmas presents even though they don’t participate in the religious aspect.
That’s how I read it. I would add that the argument broke out bc OP said that he didn’t have a Taylor Swift song as well. To me, this reads like the gf started a fight because she took it personally that OP didn’t like Taylor swift the way she does.
I’ve had that thought too. But what’s the plan then? Just keep me separate from his friends forever? He says he promises that soon when we’re more serious it won’t be a problem but if that is what it is, how is that gonna change
Bingo
go to therapy
I was referring to the insanity of a permanent language barrier. I also have BPD, I know precisely how difficult it is.
Putting myself in his shoes, I'd not want people to call me paranoid when I'm asking for advice either. Granted, this reeks of suspicious actions motivated by acts of two-timing so everyone is actually suspicious of her, but yes…
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Yup my ex was the exact same way. Hated talking on the phone, she was insecure about her voice and the fact that she couldn’t make me laugh. I was grateful as I have ADD and just vomit words at a thousand miles per hour and go WAY off topic. Like right now.
However if the “initiation” is the real problem and he’s willingly being ignorant to your needs then I don’t blame you for thinking the way you do.
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You are right to have your boundaries. He wants an open relationship which is open from only one end. To most people this sounds like absolutely lunacy. He essentially wants to eats his cake and have it too. It’s not realistic nor fair.
He has the right to want to experience more, you guys are so very young. But experiencing more things on your expense is not okay or the sign of a good caring partner. Open relationships need excited consent from both sides – he’s just trying to half-force your hand here and it’s not okay. Break up, OP! It’s for the better!
I just think this is a guy who will disrespect any boundary you set and excuse himself by saying “Oh I couldn't control myself, I was too excited.” And that ranges from being too rough with you in bed to sexting/having sex with other people.
And, by the way, if you ever do have a daughter, I hope you don't handicap her with the same kind of coddling behaviour.
Huh ? I didn’t cheat on my wife nor do I look to.
Tell her that’s inappropriate and not acceptable. Crying doesn’t mean she gets a free pass. She broke your trust when she knew you wouldn’t be okay with that.. not cool
Sorry. I thought I read it as the man writing it.
Not I don’t want a violent man, maybe just one with more confidence. His confidence is quite low, and I find that that affects different parts of out relationship.
Thank you I think you are right. This is some thing that I need to spend more time with in therapy.
I can't read all these comments to see if it's been said, but you really don't deserve any of this. Your dad needs to stop venting to you and relying on you to try to get through to your mom. None of this is yours to fix or to help with, even if you want to. They're your parents, ffs. Even though you're an adult, it should be second nature to shield you from their drama. I urge you to set that boundary asap, for your own mental health and stability. You will no longer talk to them about each other. They will no longer talk about each other in your or your siblings presence. Period.
Thank you
He sounds controlling and abusive. Block him. You deserve better and someone who truly loves you.
You are really sweet. Thanks for all the replies. I didn’t even realize this was considered abusive until someone here said it. I always thought verbal abuse was stuff like “I’m gonna kill you!” Things like that. He’s jokingly said that too though. Now I’m starting to think his jokes aren’t really jokes lol.
No, you are fine. He is the ass.
Glad you worked it out! Hopefully he learned something from this situation and communicates better next time. Wish u both the best
Broseph she for the streets
Do you like pedicures? He will learn to give you the best pedicures ever and he will be sooo grateful for the opportunity to do that. Do you like pretty shoes? Would you like to be told how beautiful you are while wearing them? Honestly honey, foot worship is such a sweet and cute thing. If you can relax into it you may find that it brings you both a lot of happiness.
How much have YOU saved?
Windsor isn't the best ditto stockbroker
I dont get what that means?
it's not a hip, powerful city
That seems subjective. Ive had fun in Windsor.
Does your sister on-line with you?
wow, would suggest dumping this dude.
You two are incompatible. In a multi-faith relationship, there has to be two-way respect for beliefs. One important note: just because one person doesn’t believe in a given holiday, they can still partake in the secular activities with their partner. The key here is, support your partner. BF could have still wished her Happy Easter and spent sone time with her, without participating in the religious side of it. I always wish my Jewish friends Happy Passover and Happy Hannukah even though those aren’t my beliefs. I also know many Jewish people who exchange Christmas presents even though they don’t participate in the religious aspect.
^ yes. Just to be extremely blunt, negging is ABUSE. And cheating is ABUSE. He is ABUSING YOU. Run, girl. Run.
Why not just go out for coffee this week?
Curvy, win win
Definitely I’m filing for divorce on Monday
That’s how I read it. I would add that the argument broke out bc OP said that he didn’t have a Taylor Swift song as well. To me, this reads like the gf started a fight because she took it personally that OP didn’t like Taylor swift the way she does.
| How can I make this better
Leave him
You are a great partner
I’ve had that thought too. But what’s the plan then? Just keep me separate from his friends forever? He says he promises that soon when we’re more serious it won’t be a problem but if that is what it is, how is that gonna change