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It's not that unusual for someone to prefer giving to receiving oral. Especially if it doesn't do much for her. Continue to explore other things and see what works for you both.
Don't say uncomfortable say precisely how it makes you feel, use terms like skeevy, gross, disgusting, etc if they apply. Be brutally honest & more importantly tell your friend & his family. Your mom needs professional help. While it maybe technically legal there's a very clear and unhealthy power dynamic here & it's very wrong.
I have to agree with others that if she doesn't like it, then that's simply how it is. We all have preferences. Perhaps she does have some residual trauma related to her SA that makes it hard for her to enjoy it. But if she earnestly doesn't want it, then that's just how she is.
Sociopaths and psychopaths all fall within the umbrella of antisocial personality disorder. It would be important to know if he has undergone a mental health evaluation to help determine what/if any disorders exist. It is essential that he is in therapy to help ensure he is functioning well on a personal level with psychiatric help to focus on the medical aspect.
It is truly up to you as you know his actions best. Sit down with a self help book about signs of abusive relationships and mark anything that applies to your relationship. Does he care about your feelings? Can you trust him? Do you feel safe around him? Is he verbally abusive? This will help you remove the emotions when considering if this is a relationship to continue. Sociopaths are known for manipulating situations to benefit them and to a normal person they have no moral code. This makes having a relationship very difficult and if you decide to continue the relationship I would suggest that you have couples counseling. Have firm rules for the relationship and ensure there is an agreement if things were to end. It is possible.
Now with all of the helpful parts I understand your fear. I was married to someone who was diagnosed as a sociopath as a child but more likely falls under being a psychopath. Granted I didn't know this until after I got away from the relationship and I wish I knew before going through all of that pain. Nothing was about what was best for me. I always felt trapped in the relationship and he gaslighted me and other abuse tactics to where I likely developed Stockholm syndrome. He would beat and torture me, he would threaten my family, and when he realized for some reason that never made sense to him that I care more about others than myself he abused it. He tortured and killed my pets forcing me to watch. I have lived an awful and abusive life to where I didn't see an issue with the way he treated me. I developed CPTSD and being with a sociopath broke me as a person.
Please be smart and focus on what is right for you. There is nothing wrong with admitting that this is too much for you to handle and end the relationship.
Yes I do think the body language helps.
I have straight up said to him I think she has feelings for him, but he doesn’t think she because he says it’s platonic. I said whilst he says it it is, that might not be the case for her and everything she is doing it suggesting that.
Are you ok with him cheating and lying about it several times? Are you ok with the fact that he will 100% do it again? If yes, cool. Stay with him. If not, break it off.
Ew this made my flesh crawl.
Your boyfriend is a narcissistic misogynist. You need to dump him and move on. I guarantee his demands will get worse with time and you are dooming yourself to a life of higher and higher expectations. He will never be satisfied.
I hope so too. Thank you for listening 🙂
I was once considering living in Texas but seeing my friends and family in Austin and Houston going without power and water during the snowstorm last year, which could have been prevented, changed my mind, and that was before the abortion law.
All right thanks
She stopped being friends because i started dating her brother. That is literally it unfortunately
sure but ask him if he wants to fuck and he’ll say yes before you finish the question ??
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Clearly your suggestion informed him that he was no longer desirable and only a safety net so he checked out as well. It was fair that his newly freed attention given to someone that appreciated it.
Why do I get the feeling that she comes from a culture that you don't?
What’s his profile? For investigative purposes only
Yup, my parents have been sleeping separately(dad is a loud snorer) ever since I can remember and they're both still lovey even now.
Do you literally mean you’ve done everything on the test? Because there are some things on there like bestiality that would definitely justify alarm. If you just meant that you’ve had sex partners in the past make sure your boyfriend understands that.
He hooked up with someone else. You’re not his person. Marriage is off the table.
This is a big deal for you, not for her. You said you're part. Don't make a big deal out of this. If she wants to acquiesce to you, that's great, but if she doesn't that's fine too. You're tripping a little too hard on this.
It was a one night stand, of course he didn't know her. OP said he met her at a party, where she lied to him about her age and said she was 22.
Do you want to be a partner or a mom? Accept that this is who he is- at least currently. Telling him is only going to come across as nagging- he’s not going to act differently unless HE wants to. Take a page from his book- this relationship is not working out and move on. You’ll be happier/less stressed.
This post and the comments are just explaining over and over that you're a codependent doormat. We understood that with the post, the comments are overkill.
“It is very thoughtful of you.” And take her on a $350 date in exchange
He means he wants you to be more sexually assertive at times to spice up the romance. For example, you two are laughing and having a good time at let’s say a clothing store and you quickly grab his crotch when no one’s around. It’ll shock him and he’ll probably get excited.
Sex in a relationship can get stale if the couple sticks to a predictable routine. It sounds like he is getting tired of initiating.
Def from cuddling
I'd tell his wife. Forward her the email he sent you
Yes, you should leave your boyfriend over your dog.
The ancient black proverb?
If you are already having this much trouble after only dating for a short time. Move on and don't go back to him. It won't get better as this is supposed to be the honeymoon phase.
A relationship less than a month old shouldn't be this hard.
Sex is completely different than masturbation as far as how the sensation is achieved.
That’s your incorrect assumption. It was important to me that he didn’t think I did it intentionally. He was actually quite shocked at how upset I was because I hid my feelings. And I don’t have to meet with him to express my feelings to see him, so I’m sorry that you think I want to live! out whatever romcom or drama romantic film you’re thinking of. If you don’t know that getting things Off your chest is therapeutic than that is unfortunate for you.
Children are taught in kindergarten “If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all”.
I think both of you are right. I think you should be able to do what you want in your life and live! on your own. I think you should also be able to online with his partner at 27 because he’s moving toward thinking about what he wants in the future. You’re a different places in your life. So if you don’t like this guy that well, I would let him go.
Screw her. Blow up her world now.
Well, technically he can't “put her through” anything. They would both need to consent to IVF.
I'm not sure why you (or OP) are crediting OPs partner with so much power in this dynamic. If OP isn't comfortable with IVF, she needs to advocate for herself and communicate that to her husband. At the end of the day, he can say how he feels but ultimately she gets to decide what happens to her body.
The normal thing is for couples to cuddle, be affectionate, kiss and if the temperature rises for both, the couple has sex. Do you want to have sex once a day? If not, then it is too often.
Do you get anything out of having sex with this person? It seems like a chore. Having sex after such a surgery seems strange.
The desire and need for sex might be slightly stronger for men, but if the attraction and love is true, the frequency should come by itself. You shouldn't have to have sex unless you want to.
It sounds to me you don't love him, because the relationship isn't filled with love. I have had plenty of relationships and the idea that the lack of sex would be something I slapped in the face of a partner as a sign of lacking love.
My review of this person is that he seems very immature.
I actually really appreciate hearing this coming from someone older. May I ask why? Did you prefer your maiden name? And if he wanted to take your surname back then would you have agreed?
It's literally a storyline in at least one Kdrama.
So were you guys just talking or did you actually go exclusive?
The Torah is a collection of books. It is absolutely possible to study it like you study any other book. I have personally taken many Torah as literature classes where we discuss the literary devises, symbolism, cultural context of the editors, etc.
Maybe try toys and think of learning to pleasure your wife with them as a hobby. I’m not always in the mood to have sex, but if I have the energy I help my partner by using toys and doing role play sometimes. It’s still really intimate without having penetrative sex.
Also cognitive behavioral therapy is specifically useful for people with ADHD, if you want to look into it. You can find workbooks, sometimes for free live!, or you can see a cognitive behavioral therapy specialist if you prefer to talk out your problems.
Reddit makes me so sad sometimes. It's always “he's the perfect partner except for all the times he treats me like trash”.
Girl just let them be happy
…Are we sure this wasn’t a baby wipe or something??? Don’t let people rub clorox on your crotch, man
The reason why I don’t click likes on her posts is because it’s not important to me. The actual relationship itself between us is the most important. And I barely click likes to any posts by anything anyway.
This sucks! I wasn't aware that telling my wife I was going to stay up for another movie after she went to bed meant a free sex pass. /s
She is acting like 28 going on 13. Very insecure. Not cute.
I don’t know what you can do since this is a her problem all the way. You can be supportive without her dictating how you live! your life. Once you get to that, she is letting her insecurities dictate the relationship and it’s over.
It just bothers me that it looks like he had to go ask me if he could do something like I’m his mom
I think that you’re so flustered that your true lack of intelligence is showing because you forgot to include a subject in that sentence
So, are you saying that it was alive and well before you changed job?
So sorry you are feeling down. It's perfectly okay to cry because you love and care for him.
Be thankful the two of you had 10 days together and get ready to get back to studying for finals and regular life. August will come soon enough. In the meantime you need to prepare for a good future.
If the crying is hard to stop you can set a day for it. Pick a day and a time, like 8pm on Thursday nights. Then play some music, light candles, soak in the tub and cry to get it all out. Regular crying scheduled will make it easier to stop.
After two dates that text message was a big warning. Then after saying he's not going to introduce just anyone to his daughter just randomly bringing her along on an errand you both had planned is not cool. THEN demanding you go to his place leaving yourself no means of escape. Third strike.
Ah to be a young dumbass again.
So he has been lying as well as being a cheat. He wouldn't even have told you as you found out through the other person. He was only remorseful when he was caught, which really isn't remorse. He doesn't love you……he loves himself. You would be doing yourself a favor to end it swiftly with this cheater.
That's absolutely fucking unhinged.
Lie to him and say you will consider reconciliation when he lays back all the child support he owes. Graduation is off the table. If he does pay it back, just block him after. People like that deserve zero consideration.
How u got a place at 22
I brought this up to him and he's said he'd try harder but never has.
He isn't going to change. I mean, you know that now.
So it's either this forever, or you make the change, because he won't.
The only conversation he engages in is only around his hobbies and switches off if I talk about mine.
This, in particular, is egregious. You're there to make him feel good and listened to. He has no urge to make you feel good, beyond texts he could just as well be getting chatGPT to write or copy-and-pasting or whatever.
Stop being gaslit into thinking your feelings aren't natural by these people who have never touched grass
1) It's a safety issue – once every now and then is acceptable, but commonly on weekends increases the risks. Clubs aren't safe.
2) It's a maturity issue. Once again, once every now and then wouldn't be an issue but, to be going out often on weekends is something of an early 20s activity; I'd be questioning whether that person is mature enough
3) It's a faithfulness issue. People get wrapped up in the moment, and gay clubs have no lack of straight people hooking up. There's an argument to make that a cheater will cheat anyway, the reality is that it isn't that simple and the majority of people are affected while under the influence of alcohol, their friends and the environment around them. Continually exposing yourself to that, knowing the risks related to #2.
Sounds mysterious, ima need an update man
Sorry mate but your wife is a liar on so many levels. Get a good divorce lawyer and get out of this marriage.
She isn't a good life partner.
Gross
Why are you with her? She sounds like a selfish gold digger.
This is not correct
TELL THE WIFE
She sounds very untrustworthy! Don’t be a tool, she’s using you. Your intuition is correct
Invite her. Show her you overcame her betrayal. Show him you found someone better than he ever was. Make them watch how you came out on top
Ewww your creepy
That’s not from working, that’s from him playing video games almost every night when he gets home from work.