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“Either shut up, or get on board”
I exhibit very similar issues, myself. More often I will compare myself to women I see on social media to the point I rip myself to shreds. It’s constant, all day every day. And I am also bisexual, so it’s a confusing find them attractive AND feel jealous of them kind of thing. I just nitpick myself consistently and feel like I will never be good enough to satisfy my partner, and he would rather be fucking anyone but me, and he just settles for me (silly, yes, but it feels very real to me in the moment). I have conveyed concerns to him, without placing blame for my personal feelings on him (he knows these thoughts and feelings are on me, nothing he’s done directly). Opening up and communicating helps to a degree, so he can have a better grasp on what’s going on with you mentally, however you need to get to the core of these issues and work on them. I have been diagnosed with Bipolar disorder and know this is a major reason for my confidence issues, and need to get back into therapy. I see a psychiatrist now, but the RIGHT therapist can help you sort out these issues and figure out a proper way to work on them within yourself. I agree with others that it sounds like you may have BPD or even Bipolar, depending on any other symptoms you may have. I went undiagnosed for many years, then was misdiagnosed with BPD and finally properly diagnosed with Bipolar and medicated. The two are often confused, due to some similar symptoms. I’m sorry you struggle with these horrible feelings, it feels impossible to overcome sometimes, and you don’t want to eventually resent your partner for something that is out of their control and isn’t their fault to begin with, but these feelings can be very overwhelming I know. I hope you get help that you need and are able to work on and manage these feelings and feel more at ease with your confidence, and no longer feel the need to compare yourself to others so much.
My guess is that I was really excited to receive the letter from him and maybe he felt pressured? I don't know if he feels uncomfortable or insecure about it. I just don't know
Keeping your kids around 20% abuse will be you failing as a parent.
There should be 0% abuse, ever. It’s not ok, like ever, and I’m glad you’re not brushing it off anymore. You can make more money. I walked away from a shitload of money with my first marriage but I also walked away with my self-esteem, and that’s priceless. You can always make more money, you can’t repair your children’s trauma by staying in an abusive relationship.
You’ll figure out the money situation, and you can always make more. Peace is worth that price.
Ask your kids what they would want, and they would choose peace. Right ?
I would assume close to a year of becoming closer sexually together exploring new things slowly building up to penetration would seem like she is interested and wanting to with me? She advocated for herself to be ready, and through numerous other conversations has said that she wants to. Both words and actions contribute to her clearly showing she wants to. I guess my point is she is worried about getting pregnant more than she is of having sex. That is why the pill has been a huge thing, she has to have both versions of contraception.
He joked one day that he wants to help me find. A better job as he thinks he might benefit ? he said. I joked that ‘that’s all you want me for, a sugar mom?’ And he said ‘think of it more as a sugar partner, if I help, I feel less bad ?’ so I don’t know.
And then he said ‘oh I thought you earned more money that what I initially thought.’
I don’t think he’s that much out my league. He’s tall and has a nice face, but he’s a bit on the overweight side
Honestly this probably has nothing to Do with any feelings for him whatsoever. It’s probably her questioning why in the world she wasn’t good enough to marry but this girl was. I totally get it. Just give her some time.
You are right, thanks
Living in the kind of world that traveling allows is really important to some people. I think a big part of compatability is 'do you see a future together?' and if y'all were dating, the answer would be no, and you would split. Personally, I think he's being really genuine here; it's a huge sacrifice to give up that kind of freedom. Marriage is a shared life but it is also two seperate peoples' lives. I don't know if I could give up traveling anywhere ever again for my partner. Maybe compromise and tell him he's welcome to go alone or with friends?
Once a week would be sorta ok if you have been married 20 years, but not at your age. And, if he is not dominating you like you need and deserve, you need to seriously think about putting off the marriage and ending the relationship so you can find the man you need.