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Kelly Nicole, 27 y.o.
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All you can do is let her know that her drinking is affecting you negatively and that you enjoy spending time with her but that you will not go to bars or pubs or stay in any activity where she is drinking. She’s going to be mad, that’s her choice.
Offer activities that don’t have a drinking component, she sounds like she has a serious problem. You don’t have to be drunk24/7 to be an alcoholic.
Maybe he likes your eyes, idk. why not ask him?
I’ll get downvoted to hell for this but I think you overreacted. I’ll assume that your girlfriend, as most 28 year-old, has a job or a source of income. You wouldn’t judge someone that really likes to crochet and spend their money on crochet things. Her hobby is this band/this specific musician so she spends her money on that. As long as she still has money to pay for basic needs and that she doesn’t always prioritize getting things for her hobby over doing thing with you, I don’t see the problem.
OP, you have clarified that this is a hugely famous band in your country that happened to be based in your country. Most adults wouldn’t « fan-girl » as hot as your girlfriend does, but that doesn’t mean it’s that bad. It’s a crush for someone unattainable,’probably full of d’imitation. And she’s crushing on the public persona, not on the actual person. You are allowed to have boundaries but you are freaking out over her holding the hand of her idol for a really brief period of time Which probably won’t ever happen again, in full public view so you know nothing untoward happened. Is she allowed to kiss on the cheek/hug male friends and family members when she greets them, or are you the only man she is allowed to have any physical contact with?
I think people have the capability or not. Then if you have the capability you learn ways to channel empathy and connections to others.
Yeah… It does hurt because I know it was my fault but there's not much I can do. At least we're still friends and we still talk. I'm glad I didn't ruin that one.
My opinion is simple. Fuck what other people have to say its your life and your happiness and you get to control them
Okay, OP, take a deep breath. The reason your phone is blowing up is because they're afraid.
Why, you may ask? Because he knows that what he did was WRONG, and is tantamount to sexual assault. Read this clearly: SEXUAL ASSAULT.
He did not ask your permission. You DID NOT consent, and this is where the rubber meets the road, so to speak.
Do not avoid dealing with this. Get one of your parents involved. Hey, he got his parent involved and it's because he knows he was wrong, and this could potentially blow up into a criminal charge.
You are most likely not the first female he's done this with. You all are now adults at your age, and I'm going to tell you something you may not want to hear: MEN, and especially boys just now becoming men, cannot be trusted.
Your trust was violated because females can behave very differently than males at this age. Having what you believe are “innocent sleepovers” are such a bad idea, I can't even tell you how the hackles went up on the back of my neck as I read your post. Why are they a bad idea? Because of the difference in mindsets btwn men & women at that age.
At this point, talk with your parents, but DO NOT avoid dealing with this. You're behaving exactly as he hopes you will so HE doesn't get in trouble. Do not accommodate him.
This is serious. If you don't address this now, he will do it again. He's a predator in sheep's clothing. Today it was him doing what he did to you. Tomorrow, he could turn into Brock Turner because no one is willing to stop him. He needs to know what he did was criminally wrong, and that you are deciding whether to go to the police at this point.
Really naked to get pregnant or give birth when you have a penis. Your options are abstinence/condoms/vasectomy/ partner using a form of birth control. The option just aren't available.
Enjoy your day.
This is actually kind of scary and very sad to read.
Are you a horse on a farm? Are you an incubator? There’s so much to unpack here and I’m sure so many have already done that in the comments below. But this is scary stuff.
These the beginning of the kind of stories you listen to YouTube videos and podcasts about ….
Sounds like you're doing what I did
Putting all your strength and energy into someone with issues that are not resolving themselves
On top of that you get periods of behavior which is worthy of relationship ending choices
You forget and are not really allowed to concentrate on your own mental wellbeing, as that becomes a one way street
You take responsibility for helping them which then makes you feel guilty when you need to put yourself first
Sound familiar?
All I can tell you is my mental health ended up in the gutter, it only started to improve when I was no longer in that relationship, the huge majority of my own mental issues came from being with that person, so the moment we split, I started to get better very quickly
I left that partner who was 100% reliant on me with no further support, they are still the same but getting by many years later, they have no quality of life, no cash, no prospects but that's their choice (we have an adult kid together)
Now my mental health is back to normal and once it was, I was able to see clearly that I was only enabling someone to not help themselves but also to be abusive because of their issues as they knew I wouldnt leave (or thought so)
I dont regret trying to be a good person and supporting that partner but I do regret I was too unhealthy mentally to do the right thing, which was to leave much earlier, as the moment I did put myself first, that person was no longer someone I wanted around me
I learned complete dependency on someone else (especially financially) is actually a manipulation tactic to hold themselves hostage, so you're guilted into sticking around
Once I realised that, my view of the person ended up in the gutter, which torched every atom of guilt I had
Do not tell him about the miscarriage. He doesn’t need to know and, since it was unplanned and you broke up, there is nothing for him to know or grieve. If you’re not pregnant with his baby, don’t even bring it up.
He’s told you the situation. He met someone who turned his head – he wants to see other people. He doesn’t hate you and he is being flippant and semi friendly because he wants to keep you cordial so when his exploration doesn’t work out he might be able to get you back until once again something better comes along.
I’m sorry as I know this sounds harsh but when people tell you who they are, believe them. Leave gracefully and don’t look back because this guy doesn’t deserve you
No, it's just not what you want to hear.
Why did you propose again? My love, you’re an absolute doormat. You’re meant to get the kids thing straight BEFORE proposing. And yeah, it’s her decision if she wants to have kids. And it’s also your decision if you want to stay with her. It’s okay to demand an answer for a question that will determine the rest of your life.