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Katie, 28 y.o.
Location: British Columbia, Canada
Room subject: its not gay its alt-straight (unless you don, ‘t tip then its gay) [460 tokens remaining]
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I would break up with him. Let him figure out how he wants to define his body and give him a chance to find someone who loves him in all ways. That kind of love exists.
And move on and look for someone who you prefer.
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No, it very literally is not. Women falsely reporting rapes by anyone are between 2-8%. And even that is thought to be overstated. I'm a dating violence prevention advocate and this thread is very disturbing to me.
The only thing worse than 6 wasted years is 6 years and 1 day. Let me be clear – this man will never marry you. He wants you in his back pocket, not as his wife and the mother of his children. If you want marriage and kids, you need to find that somewhere else.
Do not waste the remaining time you can build the family life you want pursuing his confusion.
Bros lawyer better be Saul goodman
Does it bother you if she runs into a friend or family member when out with you? Are you this rude to her bestie or her cousin or her sister? Or is this just a “guys she's banged” thing?
Second one is the best. First will be a little dramatic and can backfire.
Absolutely remind her you are in a marriage. That wasn't some nice party you had a few years ago. It formed an obligation for you both. You owe each other more.
It's a bonkers request, but maybe a topper/mattress cover would be a good compromise?
god, please break up with your current girlfriend for her sake. you don’t respect her, if you did you would put proper boundaries between yourself and this other girl who clearly doesn’t respect your relationship. You like the game, you like the chase, you don’t care about your relationship enough to stop this so leave it! i’m
Maybe you should go on-line with your dad since you can’t handle living there.
You are not giving this corny dad a chance if won’t even try to be part of the family. You are an adult and you should be telling your stepdad about how you don’t like it when he is touchy. Wanting your mom to do the work for you will get you nowhere besides causing all this tension that you are going through. Stop relying on mom to do what needs to be done. But really think about moving in with your father since you can’t seem to actually live with your mom and stepdad.
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I mean, this subreddit usually goes right for cheating (guilty of making that accusation myself) but like… to me, this screams cocaine.
Maybe my perception is skewed, but to be fair, I've done a lot more drugs in bathroom stalls than sex acts ??♀️
regardless if he’s cheating, you guys shouldn’t be fighting this soon on.
fact of the matter is, if he’s doing something to make you feel uncomfortable, talk to him about it. if he doesn’t give a fuck then dump his ass. you deserve better.
Shockingly, I’m not interested in combing through all the comments to figure out what makes you tick
You did the right thing. Maybe she shouldn’t be such a terrible person and partner and you wouldn’t have had to tell him the truth?
?not sure how long he would be willing to continue the way things are going. He says it was fine for two years without meeting what's the issue now
Self preservation. If I'm using condoms I don't trust you enough
??
Thank you. Why not change the goal? She was trying to do something thoughtful and generous. Maybe instead of spoiling himself to celebrate this financial milestone, he could celebrate his capacity to treat his partner to a special meal out, or a gift he knows that she’s been wanting, too. Then they’ll both end up with something they wanted, by virtue of their own accomplishments, and it will have been given and received with love. OP’s attitude about this really sucks.
Hmm, it kind of sounds like he’s just not that into you, or possibly putting you on the back burner while he talks to other girls. In my experience, it doesn’t matter how busy someone is – if they’re into you, they make the time.
I would tell him directly that you want him to initiate conversations with you and see what he does.
Is this something that can be worked on/ communication can fix?
Haha thank you so much for this awnser, I am just really scared comming out of a past gaslighting realtionship with my ex that he will not take it well when we talk about his mom, he is different but I'm really scared and idk if thats on me.
And yeah how she is treating him is not right even my parents say that
That's literally disgusting and this man is taking advantage of you!
I am closer in age to my son than this man is to you.
He is a pervert.
You aren't being infantized your parents are worried because you are being groomed by a pedophile.
Just curious, how do you KNOW?
I don’t even have words. Your boyfriend violently raped you. Down playing it just means he’ll do it again
he didn’t say anything to imply he was sad or upset i just felt like he was a little sad or disappointed (not at me but more the situation) based on his tone and body language (as much as i can get over facetime)
She wants to erase the bio father. Think about how if you marry and have children with this women, how she will do this too you. The bio father is so traumatizing by the custody battle he's willing to do anything to keep his kid in his life, even giving up his last name. That tells you she doesn't work Asa good co-parent, and does anything (even against the child's best interest) to win in her mind.
Do you have the vaguest idea of how viscerally disgusting it is to have your parent fucking a teenager the same age as you?
Add to that the horrendous things you then said, making it clear your wife was 100% your priority and your daughter was relegated to an inconvenience and a hindrance, I don't know that there's anything you could do to rebuild that relationship.
Damn all this advice sucks ass
2 kids from his prior relationships. So they're my step-kids
NO!
Some people, not lots of people. The best predictor of your financial station is your parents’ financial station, and that’s in the first world.
You can emigrate to another country then, as it seems yours doesn’t really care about people’s actual happiness. Either that, or be unhappy. It seems like you get the choice of being unhappy and rich or unhappy and poor.
You tell her that she can do whatever she wants you don’t care, because it’s over.
You don’t want anything to do with someone who has no morals or respect for themselves.
It's always the big age gaps…
Well, since this has no history or nor information and I’m sorry this happened to you. But I know there is a ton of stuff going on that you’re not revealing. So I would make sure you have support friends family whatever you have and try to move on with your life.
Just leave the relationship if you’re not feeling it anymore. No need to paint him into something he has never been. It should be obvious that, based on what you have explained in the post and in the comments, that very few believe that you are a genuine victim in this scenario. The dog gets the apology because it doesn’t know better. You can claim your feelings on the matter but it’s actively attempting to make somebody look bad. You don’t have to drag him into some ridiculous position where he’s constantly having to defend himself against the weight of your constantly evolving emotional position. He can do absolutely nothing but say sorry for some conversational gesturing. I believe that were this genuinely abusive, most of the comments would be with you. Easily. They’re not, so what’s the real problem?
A list is an awesome idea. Thank you! Followed with talking about how I can I make sure I’m meeting his needs of feeling loved/wanted
Do you still think there is hope to save the relationship? If yes what could I do?