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Why is everyone ignoring the cheating part?
You have a right to prefer whatever genitals you prefer. Your partner should have told you this a long time ago but choose to keep it a secret, which isn't great.
You don't owe them being okay with their body if their genitals don't match what you are comfortable or attracted to. You can love your boyfriend, but love is not enough to make a relationship work. It seems like you two just may be incompatible.
“My flat mate moved out last month, so I’ve had to move back to my parents”
… could you not have just gotten a new flatmate? That seems like an easier plan than moving 2-3 hrs away (I can only imagine what your commute to work must be like now!).
But even if you don't want a new flatmate for whatever reason … just talk to your gf about plans. Asking “so any news on whether your parents are okay with me moving in?” doesn't seem like something that would cause issues. I think you're over-thinking it.
He’s really stretching this ‘I’m hurt, I need to process my feelings’ crap a bit long. Like seriously, who in their right mind could feel hurt for being told what you prefer in bed and why.. and then drag it out over Fkn days. It’s head games, he’s trying to manipulate you and get you to feel bad or some stupid crap like that. Yeah his ego is hurt, but he’s probably clumsy and rough with his hands. Probably has absolutely no concept about what kind of flesh covers your bits inside and outside. Lort, I hope he trims and files his fingernails at the very least.
Anyway, it sounds to me like he’s disconnecting from you completely.. so if I were you, I’d back all the way off and get ready to be without him. He’s being over dramatic and manipulative, playing head games over practically a nothing ordeal. In my experience, when guys do that, they’ve already set their sights elsewhere.
Stop the confusion, move on with life. Do what makes you happy.
Do you feel he is being honest?
Yeah, some people can be like that and they don’t even realize. If you don’t want that type of friendship then goodbye, you don’t have to deal with their problems anymore.
Would there be a person close enough to you that you’d have more time to try to be them or their kids less enmeshed in a cult (Nazi or otherwise)? Like a sibling, best friend, child? Or is there no one that would cross that threshold for you?
There aren’t a ton of people I’d do extra anti-Nazi legwork for, but I’d do it for my niblings or kids.
If you learned that 4 hours of your time with Cousin’s kids per year made it 10% more likely that her kids grow up NOT to be Nazis, would it be worth it?
These are obviously made up relationships but I’m guessing we both have a point where it would and wouldn’t be worth it to engage.
No, no where in the list is friendships with opposite sex excluded.
At the risk of sounding counterintuitive to what I already said, only you can know what's truly best for you and make the right decision. Maybe you could write up a pro and con chart for both options and find out if you still feel the same or can make a clearer decision, having everything you're thinking, sitting right in front of you to look at.
Read my replies to other comments please. It makes me feel sad that you would call me „not normal“. I loved this man with all my heart and the way he left me traumatized me.
You're not doing either of you a favor by staying in a relationship where you're unhappy. Eventually it will come to an end, and the sooner you deal with it the sooner you can both heal and move on.
You impulsively married the loser your sister was banging after she dumped him for knocking up another woman?
Forget Pam, you’ve got more pressing problems waiting for you down the road.
It’s a good idea to tell his family but she has her claws deep into her husband. His family may be better to help convince him to leave that witch but it’s like what other commenters said, it’s up to him to when/if he wants to leave her.
Do it, and let him know that you and your family will always support him and have his back.
Hi! As a female who graduated from bmt, I can tell you it is a STRESSFUL situation and if I could go back and do it again, I wouldn't invite my family, only my hubby. You're running on little sleep, a ton of adrenaline and still having to be a good little airman/soldier/seaman. You change a lot (and not always by choice) so your family expects one thing and gets another and it's just a lot! My mom was a lot of work on her own but balancing both moms and hubby's needs AND trying to feel human again was a lot.
I would choose hubby over mom though because he's the one I'm used to seeing every day and I only ever saw my mom every couple of months anyway so it just makes sense for me that way. It's different for your girlfriend but not at all unreasonable.
I’m sorry but ????