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I really don't know how to tell you it any clearer that I've talked to her about all of these things.
Manchild, telltales of a manchild.
If I’m interested in someone and we’re talking getting to know each other that may lead to us dating and being in a relationship I wouldn’t be fucking other men that’s grimy
It's in the post
I got her to calm down and she confessed that she got pregnant on purpose in hopes that I would stay with her.
She was afraid he'd find someone better.
You sound like someone I wouldn’t even want to be friends with, tbh. It seems like you expect everyone to know your wants and needs without you explicitly telling them, so that you can get mad at them when they don’t meet your unexpressed needs.
I hope your girlfriend stays gone and you go to therapy to learn how to communicate like an actual adult instead of stomping around like a petulant toddler not getting their way.
You and everyone defending you needs to grow up.
Its so nude to break the news and I dont want to belive that what i belive is true. I feel so bad for the other women but i dont know what to feel for myself
This. That man does not respect or value you OP. He is superficial, and his love is conditional. He doesn’t deserve you.
She's jealous she wasn't able to get something like what your bf got.
Birthdays are different tho. That’s a date he has to remember. This is literally an event he’s holding that he invited people to. To forget to invite you is to say that he didn’t think about you at all. He wasn’t wishing you were there, he wasn’t wanting to hang out with you, he wasn’t excited to kiss you at midnight. He thought of all of these other people he wanted to hang out with, but he didn’t think about you at all. What does that say about your relationship and how much he values you? I honestly don’t have any suggestions because it’s not possible to make someone what to prioritize you. But you certainly shouldn’t back down because he feels bad. He should feel bad. You should ask him to really think about why this happened and how he would be any different in the future and why he is consistently not thinking about you or making you a priority (as is also evidenced by forgetting your birthday. Calendars are easy.)
It means that she is healthy. It means she knew her relationship wasn’t working. It means she knew she had feelings for you, but it wasn’t really the right time because she was going through a break up. She may recover faster than you know. I would except it and let her do what she needs to do. And this is the way you do a break up.
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You can't help – he's addicted. He'll have to decide what he wants for his life and what he wants to do. The good news is Colorado is a Ganja legal state so maybe find some time to be alone and he can get his smoke on outside of family activities. Get through the week and then go from there. At some point you'll have to decide whether this is the relationship for you. All the best to you two and have a safe journey!
Found the cheater.
DTMFA.
I'm not sure of the entire amount, but I know he still owes $1800 which should technically be paid off in March.
I really don't want to throw this relationship away. We lived through so much together and we both lived through some very traumatic experiences which just made us stronger. And you're right – we should be proud having good paying jobs and a house in our 20s. I just wish he would be upfront with me so we wouldn't be stuck in this mess.
The sooner you stop trying to figure out what will bring about a change in her that is unlikely to ever come, the sooner you'll stop stressing about it. Instead of wasting your time trying to unlock a level that doesn't exist, figure out how to keep her from accessing your room.
If she’s persistently out late with these “friends” at events you’re not invited to, then it’s a possible red flag
He joked one day that he wants to help me find. A better job as he thinks he might benefit ? he said. I joked that ‘that’s all you want me for, a sugar mom?’ And he said ‘think of it more as a sugar partner, if I help, I feel less bad ?’ so I don’t know.
And then he said ‘oh I thought you earned more money that what I initially thought.’
100% of the time people like this if you catch them in the act of something they’ve done something way worse that you don’t know about. Quietly plan to leave. That’s the only option I see. Quietly because liars are sometimes good at manipulating information so you need to be careful about how you leave.
I love how this sub stops giving a shit about grooming when the groomer is married. This man has known her since she was a little girl, waited until she was at her most vulnerable, filled her head with a bunch of lies, isolated her from her support system and impregnated her.
You’re 23 and have a whole life ahead of you; don’t waste any of it on someone who doesn’t add to it. Love is not enough.
You’re 23 and have a whole life ahead of you; don’t waste any of it on someone who doesn’t add to it. Love is not enough.
I get being angry at your sister for having a drinking problem. And I can even understand being angry that bad things happen to her because of this problem. It's easy to say: she put herself in this position. But we, as a society, have not found any consistently successful therapy for addiction. Watching someone slowly drown themselves is terrifying, exhausting, enraging. So, on one level, your emotions are valid. But you are not mad at her for sleeping with your soon to be ex-husband. You know she was incapacitated, and so she was raped.
You should call the police on your husband. He is a rapist. Call a lawyer and start the divorce. You should ask your sister to attend some form of alcohol therapy. You should not go anywhere with her if she is drinking. And you should maybe check out Al-Anon for families of alcoholics. Or find a therapist.
False Imprisonment in the Second Degree:
A person commits false imprisonment in the second degree if he knowingly restrains another person without legal authority
Who said they shouldn't? They can but same as any able-bodied person they should only if they can put a roof on the baby's head and a meal on the table three times a day.
He doesn't love you. Maybe he tells you that, but his actions CLEARLY show you otherwise.
Never let your desperation for a relationship talk you out of your common sense.
Where he lives is entirely irrelevant. Whether he’s apologized or not is irrelevant. My main point is just that it’s not about you. It’s about your mom and him. Doesn’t matter who’s to blame. He doesn’t feel comfortable there.
Yes! Why in the world is she able to track you?
exactly what i was gonna say bruh
Jesus Christ, that's wild. She's not showing up or anything, and I don't talk to her except once a week to figure out child exchange. I've been broken by the courts so much that I'm incredibly secretive about what I make/any accomplishments. ex makes 16 an hour or so, and is remarried her household income is high; they don't struggle, but they're terrible at managing what they have. She could make far more money in her field if she left the area with no work, but she refuses. I live and present myself like I'm poor AF, and I have for several years to prepare/protect myself for when she figures out I'm doing well and she tries to change support. We had 50/50 at one point, but she refused to get a higher paying job and I was forced to pay support anyway. After that court battle I ended up living in a campground because I had no money, and got slapped w/less custody because of it. I took a risk and moved out of the area, and it paid off. Have been since working on repairing my life for the last 6 years. Recently she's been dumping the children on me every Friday ruining any plans me and mine have, and I've just said “ok” been this way for a year or so. Lotta my issues probably stem from my own trust issues. This made me realize some stuff, thank you. Sorry it's vague I don't know if they use reddit; need plausible deniability. I keep myself on the low like I'm in witness protection due to my experience with family court. I'm happy, and I'm absolutely terrified of struggling like that again.
Why would you want to stay with someone that doesn't try to meet you in the middle when it comes to you receiving the affection you want?
Men don’t leave the relationship because they don’t value the other person’s experience and because they’re satisfied having the wife roll adequately filled; they don’t want to manage their own domestic life. That’s what women are for, right???
If he was feeling unfulfilled and unhappy, he has the responsibility to take care of himself and break up with her.
And that's exactly what he did.
Sometimes people get unlucky. That's the risk of buying a car without an inspection.
None of this is normal behavior. He sounds abusive.
The period joke writes itself.
But seriously, no human should have this little control over their emotions. But does he have this little control in all aspects of his life? Is he also blowing up at his workplace or at his friends? Probably not. This is selective rage purposely directed exclusively at you. One day it won't be just his car he punches in a rage. Consider this fair warning.
Regarding your friends mock controller: does he just change controllers when he gets mad? I can’t really imagine how that could integrate into intense gaming habits. Also my boyfriend mostly uses his keypad and mouse.
Are you on amphetamines, by chance?
People ask for clarification when things seem unclear. Nothing seemed unclear in your post. It’s not the comment section’s fault that you didn’t come across the way you intended. People gave their two cents because you posted on an advice forum.
I still encourage you to use this as an opportunity to reflect and grow. It’s great that you’re on a mission to become a better person, and this can be part of the journey.
OP, please listen to all of this. Your hubs is being cruel and manipulative and you deserver better.
No worries. The co worker was in a really abusive relationship, so I’d imagine she’s just thankful she’s found a nice friend in your girl. I don’t think you have anything to worry about.
But why would we need our own private bank accounts? If we just have one bank account that our paychecks go into, we wouldn’t need our own?
That’s my thinking is both of our paychecks will go into that, but he states his money is his money, and it’s not our money, which I disagree, if we live together, his money is our money, the same, as my salary is our money.
Everyone manages and views finances differently. There’s isn’t a universal “right” way to do this. Y’all don’t sound financially compatible.
It’s risky to 100% combine finances, especially when you’re not married. Just because you’ve moved in together or married, doesn’t automatically give you access to it. I actually think it’s risky do this.
Your views on why he shouldn’t have a separate account is toxic af. Being able to cheat and start a second family? If you’re worried about him doing this, or men in general, you need to process that in therapy. A separate bank account isn’t a sure fire catalyst for cheating.
This is not a form of domestic violence. He probably meant financial abuse. (Financial abuse is a common tactic used by abusers to gain power and control in a relationship. Can be subtle or overt but in in general, include tactics to conceal information, limit the victim's access to assets, or reduce accessibility to the family finances.)
While I agree big purchases should be discussed, he doesn’t. You do. His money is his money—not yours. You think it’s a big pot. Y’all aren’t compatible. This will always be a point of contention.
You see what he values, sex, not quality time with you. You sound more like a booty call than a girlfriend.