I will admit that I could be wrong. I’m not in the relationship and all I have is what’s listed out here.
I AM saying that relationship dynamics with abusive and narcissistic parents is not one that can just be dissolved in a day. There are couples that have an entire wedding without dealing with the behavior, and parents who push boundaries constantly. I am not trying to make your ex out to be the victim, but rather pointing out that the entire reason for this post was due to a fabrication from the mother. You are totally and wholly within your rights to end a relationship for any and all reasons, and it’s probably good that you did. I’m sure this wasn’t the first thing that happened. Your ex needs therapy to heal the damage his mother has done and trauma he experienced as a child watching his father beat his mom. I am saying that he’s at least made some progress by admitting that there have been instances where his mother was wrong for what she did/said. I saw your comment where he mentioned that “scuffles” were normal for relationships, and I do think that comes from that being the relationship dynamics he has seen.
This person I’ve been chatting with has made ties that he is toxic for not cutting off his abusive mother – but cutting off abuse is not easy. Women go through years and years of abuse without leaving because of the manipulation and fear they endure. He can’t start cutting her out until he starts healing himself.
OP. I’m sorry you went through something terrifying and you’re most likely better off not being in that relationship regardless of anything else.
While I hear and respect this advice, it’s not necessarily pertinent to the advice I’m seeking. In fact, just two years ago I would’ve bet money that I would NEVER get married. And then I met Luke and he is legitimately the partner for me. Gabby has never expressed any concerns to me about how quickly we’re moving, or Luke not being a good partner for me.
Sometimes when you know, you know. I didn’t understand it until I met him because with every guy prior I always found numerous reasons why I could never spend the rest of my life with them, let alone a few months. He changed my entire perspective, and at this point I can’t imagine NOT spending the rest of my life with him. Downvote if you will, but I’d personally rather get advice on how to deal with my friend’s lack of reaction to all of this before it destroys the friendship we have.
Oh good now you’re accusing him of being a criminal.
I will admit that I could be wrong. I’m not in the relationship and all I have is what’s listed out here.
I AM saying that relationship dynamics with abusive and narcissistic parents is not one that can just be dissolved in a day. There are couples that have an entire wedding without dealing with the behavior, and parents who push boundaries constantly. I am not trying to make your ex out to be the victim, but rather pointing out that the entire reason for this post was due to a fabrication from the mother. You are totally and wholly within your rights to end a relationship for any and all reasons, and it’s probably good that you did. I’m sure this wasn’t the first thing that happened. Your ex needs therapy to heal the damage his mother has done and trauma he experienced as a child watching his father beat his mom. I am saying that he’s at least made some progress by admitting that there have been instances where his mother was wrong for what she did/said. I saw your comment where he mentioned that “scuffles” were normal for relationships, and I do think that comes from that being the relationship dynamics he has seen.
This person I’ve been chatting with has made ties that he is toxic for not cutting off his abusive mother – but cutting off abuse is not easy. Women go through years and years of abuse without leaving because of the manipulation and fear they endure. He can’t start cutting her out until he starts healing himself.
OP. I’m sorry you went through something terrifying and you’re most likely better off not being in that relationship regardless of anything else.
She’s keeping you in her back pocket.
While I hear and respect this advice, it’s not necessarily pertinent to the advice I’m seeking. In fact, just two years ago I would’ve bet money that I would NEVER get married. And then I met Luke and he is legitimately the partner for me. Gabby has never expressed any concerns to me about how quickly we’re moving, or Luke not being a good partner for me.
Sometimes when you know, you know. I didn’t understand it until I met him because with every guy prior I always found numerous reasons why I could never spend the rest of my life with them, let alone a few months. He changed my entire perspective, and at this point I can’t imagine NOT spending the rest of my life with him. Downvote if you will, but I’d personally rather get advice on how to deal with my friend’s lack of reaction to all of this before it destroys the friendship we have.