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Agreed! And all of those conversations are really not that nude if you communicate more often.
“She’s a shrew who doesn’t understand him! But if he leaves her she’ll have nothing. oh, isn’t he such a good guy?!”
Does it actually matter if he thought they are natural before? If its something he feels strongly about I dont think he shouldnt be able to change his opinion or not?
, or cooking and cleaning every night after going to work,
So do you do your equal share of cooking and cleaning?
Yeah, like OP needs to be checked for validity
The reality of what it means to live so very far apart — and to be in this situation for an unspecified amount of time — is likely sinking in.
“Long distance relationships” usually only work when the distance is temporary, with clear structures/plans in place for closing that gap.
You guys spent nine wonderful months together… and then she went back home. Her home is extremely far from your home. Presumably, you’re not at a stage in your lives where you can make concrete plans for one of you to immigrate to the other’s country — nor should you, given how young you are and the short period of time you’ve even known one another.
I’m not trying to be doom and gloom here, but you have to recognize that trying to sustain a monogamous relationship where you’re not physically together for months and months, perhaps even years at a time is pretty unrealistic.
I’m guessing that’s what’s going on here. She still cares about you, but is pulling away because she’s beginning to grasp that this isn’t going to be sustainable.
Have you spoken to her about any of this? You don’t have to accept the bare minimum from anyone. You should tell her that this isn’t working for you: if you’re going to try to make this work, you need more from her. But you should also understand that she may not be able/willing to give more than this — relationships take work, and it’s nude to invest in something you can’t really see a future in.
He needs to sort his shit out. It's terrible he comes from a bad home life, but a lot of us do. It doesn't justify him causing you a bad home life.
I probably should thats what everyone else is saying too lol fuck me runnin
Most of the comments on this post are predictably enough horrible.
OP, the first thing you need to ask yourself, what do you want to do? Regardless of what you feel you should do. What you want to do. Do you want to try and work it out? Do you want to go to counseling with her to try and fix your relationship? If yes, tell her you are willing to try. And if you aren’t, tell her that too. Tell her that you are there for her but you can’t remain her husband. Yes it might hurt her even more, but as you said its far more cruel to pretend. That is the first thing you need to figure out. If you have to take a bit of time away from her that is also fine. If you are worried have a friend stay with her during that time.
Once you figured out what you want to do you can start making more concrete plans. If you stay with her you both need individual counseling and marriage counseling.
If you decide you don’t want to stay with her (want not can’t it’s important you figure out your want) you have to then decide what you can and cannot handle. If you can be there for her as a friend, you can try that. If you say you can’t but feel guilty, you can try and have her talk to a close friend or family member instead so you know she gets support. I would think that would help you to not feel too guilty.
And yes you can set up rules and stipulations you feel like you need if you stay with her.
Even if we shared the same account i would still ask if it was okay
You really didn't have a right to disclose his possible trauma around sex to a family member.
Girl easy dump him
For now, I’m just focusing on myself and ignoring him until he comes forward and wants to talk before I grill him with questions haha
Please do the talk of what your futures are. Comparing the two on the fundamentals is advised before marriage just to avoid these issues, but it is what has happened. Assuming things shows a lack of communication about values. Include everything you can think of about families, cleaning, finances, bringing up children, etc. Why? To avoid resentment, assumptions and this situation.
However, as you said he has been watching stories, well stories like the movies and instagram are rarely the whole picture as many of the people I follow show the filters being used, the reality of the story behind as well, just to keep in mind the rational thoughts not the belief that what you seeing is completely real.
If you have never sat down and really talked, then it is past time and you might need help to keep you both less emotional and focused.
Even saying this you seem to be a rational, logical person and he seems to be one who uses belief as his process. Belief is really nude to work with as there is no evidence to argue against and no proof that will be accepted. If this is how his and yours mind works then you will have to use his frame of reference, ie his beliefs and work with that not against it.
I would say that being with someone whose values are not your own is very difficult to manage, with resentment on both sides, so good luck with whatever happens. I used to read up on cult deprogramming so being convinced from media you are right is a lot to work on, so again good luck and do your research.
Including the cloud?
Including the cloud?
Sometimes people are just cowards. If he just didn't have the balls to talk to you, consider yourself lucky he saved you more years of wasted time. That being said, it's ok to feel shitty about being ghosted. Do something nice for yourself
If she’s the one taking the cat, you certainly should not be burdened with care or financial responsibility. Tell her very clearly that this is her cat and you are no way near ready to take on this responsibility right now, emotionally, financially, and logistically(as it’s time consuming).
If she can’t care for the cat without you, then you were right that she needs to rehome it
You will need to allow him to go through his own grieving process for the relationship, until he comes to terms with it and move forward. Just be supporting, but start the breaking up process. You both know it is over, he just hasn’t accepted it yet.
It isn’t legal. Just decriminalized for the actual prostitutes. Buyers can be punished.
I wouldn't be surprised if she is one those people who think they are in charge just because they are old. I guess most of your co-workers are in your age? I would speak with your boss like “We have some does when no supervisior is there and i wanted to talk about who is in charge on those days.” If someone is official in charge and it is not her, problem solved. If he tries to give her the charge because age rolleyes you can talk about the problems and how it didn’t worked well when she tried to be “the boss”.
if he only brushes once a day that should prevent significant plaque build up.
this is evidence that he is either brushing wrong, doesn't use floss, or something of that nature.
I’ve had a friend tell me about her ex bf being diagnosed with BPD and I somehow found the behaviour a bit similar. Might be bipolar though?
Yeah.. I know my mom loves me but it's not something I heard growing up. I'm a really anxious person, I have a lot of energy, I was raised to be a giver, and I try nude to make people feel appreciated, I try nude to relate to them, but I don't get it back.
I had an ex once just hold me, and tell me she cared about me, what I do for her, that I was appreciated. I miss that feeling ?
Aaaand then she hit me! Be careful peeps!
Your description is perfect.