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Julia, 20 y.o.
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The point here is that he framed the picture for her of a next step in THEIR relationship. How is buying your own home that is only yours and only you will be paying for a next step for her in this relationship? Her name won't be on it, it won't be hers, but he literally told her that he wants to take the next step in their relationship by doing something for him with zero commitment to her or the relationship in any way. That isn't a next step, that has nothing to do with her or their relationship. It's for him and she's allowed to online there. Can you not see how that would hurt someone? If he wanted to take the next step for his future he got her hopes up by insinuating that he was making a commitment to their relationship when that wasn't the case.
Commitment doesn't have to equate to marriage. People online as a family their entire lives without signing those papers and that's totally okay, a paper doesn't make your commitment to one another any more meaningful. If this was about their relationship moving forward then he would want to buy the home TOGETHER so that it is both of theirs, not just his, THEIRS.
He deserves to get shit on for his ridiculousness and audacity. If buying himself a house is somehow a commitment to her i have no idea how he convinced himself that this was for them when it absolutely is all about him.
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(Except for preferring lilies. Lilies are of the devil and should be banned from all civilized homes. As should hyacinths. I have spoken.)