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Johnny Backer, 19 y.o.
Location: Indiana, United States
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She is selfish and isn’t worried about. You already know she doesn’t make you a priority. Sounds like she isn’t ready for something serious or to settle down.
Replied in another comment but I have not known about the affair for 2 years. She told me about it after she was engaged and after she had already ended things with the other guy. But agreed he would probably still be angry with me if he found out I knew
As a guy who used to watch porn and doesn't anymore, I would say don't accept it if it's not something you want in a partner. What others have said is right, you can't change him. Not saying he's an addict but he will watch porn for the rest of his life so it really comes down to whether you can live with the insecurities and negative feelings that come along with it. Trust your gut
I’m so sorry, but the paragraph describing them as swines and how misogynistic they are before saying “now the dilemma” made me laugh.
People are the company they keep. The people you are close to are a reflection of parts of you. If he really didn’t like those men he wouldn’t be friends with them. If he didn’t like those men he wouldn’t want to go on a trip with them. Your boyfriend is one of them. Your boyfriend allows them to talk trash about you.
You don’t have to be a controlling girlfriend and say he can’t go. I don’t know why you want to be with this boy but fine. You can just be the girlfriend who is absolutely miserable and treated like shit instead.
I’m so sorry, but the paragraph describing them as swines and how misogynistic they are before saying “now the dilemma” made me laugh.
People are the company they keep. The people you are close to are a reflection of parts of you. If he really didn’t like those men he wouldn’t be friends with them. If he didn’t like those men he wouldn’t want to go on a trip with them. Your boyfriend is one of them. Your boyfriend allows them to talk trash about you.
You don’t have to be a controlling girlfriend and say he can’t go. I don’t know why you want to be with this boy but fine. You can just be the girlfriend who is absolutely miserable and treated like shit instead.
Yeah. Gaslighting AND cheating. Time for some legal advice x
Has it really improved? Or is he using lying to cover up for bad communication?
Instead of communicating that he had a fling, what it meant, and that he wanted to be with you… he just had to lie. An easy fix. What else has he applied to this?
Time to take the trash out!! Thanks for your comment
I think you should talk this with her. Communicate what you think and feel so you both can tell each other's side
when i ask him what's are future he says he dont want to commit fake promises he just says he might be dating me might be we have good bond things like that but then i am kind of insecure with him he says he can ghost me anyday he havent done it yet but may be he can and hihngs like that
That’s a fuck boy.
Yes necessarily the majority of men bond with their partners via sex.
Wow, so many people getting butthurt, because he says he doesn't like a certain body type, you guys need to chill. I see simple facts to end this relationship. As long as he remains a good father, and pay child support I don't see how this is a bad thing. Why stay in a relationship where both have different goals, different ambition and seriousness when it comes to a healthy lifestyle? Op, it is Ok to leave, it is Ok to not like people who arent as serious as you are about weight, it is DEFINITELY ok to have trust issues after she lied to you. You don't want this to become a toxic relationship, its better to leave in good terms, you will have some type of relationship with this person most of your life because of your child.
Send a text or something saying when you last saw your daughter, you want her to drop your kid off at home (she can’t just take her daughter from the marital home forever over a non-violent divorce), and if she refuses you’ll be telling your lawyer. I’m not a legal expert but with written evidence I’m sure you can get a more favourable case with custody.
I am so sorry OP. please stay far tf away from any man who hurts you. You deserve better. Focus on building yourself! You got this
Yikes
I met my husband at my biggest and lost, gained, been skinny and buff, all before we got married. I had dated a man who was very particular about my weight before hand and realized I never wanted to deal with that again.
The truth is some men think of women's bodies as trophies and as objects of desire, solely. He doesn't attach his attraction to his emotional feelings for you. He will be as equally as cruel as you age because you won't look young forever.
Do with this knowledge what you will but know you can't change him or how he feels, you can only work within it. No amount of talking or therapy will make him attracted or respectful.
True, I should have used non-monogamy, he is practicing polyamory and who knows what she is practicing. My point is basically that it is apparent that they discussed nothing and that will cause problems no matter what form of non-monogamy they practice. Also many will judge both open and poly based off of the choices of people doing what they are doing. I am guessing in your relationship these scenarios and boundaries have been discussed openly.
You might feel this way, but your friend doesn't. And by comments from you, she has been trying to ruin your relationship this whole time.
Telling your gf you share rooms with her, then telling your gf that you slept together.
This girl isn't your friend. She is purposely ruining your relationship with gf, and you are helping her do it.
You should always tell a GF early on if you slept with someone you were friends with, that way she doesn't get blindsided with it years later.
Your gf has every right not to talk to you.
You sent her off to learn the truth from your girl bff, and she found out there was more going on than what she knew.
I think you need to rethink the friendship with this bff.
I'm sure your bff said a lot more than you know about right now. And I wouldn't blame your gf if she breaks up with you. You would deserve it
You IMMEDIATELY tell your partner when you’re hanging out with someone you’ve stuck your penis in. You’re dead wrong here.
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Did you ever undercook meat and give the family food poisoning? Hah hah!
Ask dumb questions and win dumb prizes.
I read this because I hate that women fear revenge and wanted to support but I'm afraid I just see avoidable drama here. It's not going to go well for anyone any which way. You're gone in two weeks, why not focus on something else?
Based on the way she said it made me think that she blindly votes as well. I’m a registered democrat who mostly votes blue but I do my research and have voted independent and republican for certain elections. The fact she said she always votes blue and was panicking because he votes republican sounds like a vote blue no matter who person.
Don't be friends with a rapist.
You are having issues in a 2 month relationship! Dear lord just break up!
She is a taker. Let Bob have her. Don’t answer the phone when she tries to come back to you. Good luck.
Jeez girl you need to break up and work on yourself. Never in a healthy partnership should one set ‘rules’ for the other. Being single is not the arse-end-of-nothing silly movies would have you believe, can actually be pretty good!
You want both? Like both casual and serious? Well, I think you need to decide what you actually want before moving forward. And if how you’re responding to these comments is anything like how you text him, you need to learn how to chill out.
Because I’m not going to risk my time and money on someone who is cheating on me. I spent over half of the money in my bank account for him. If I am going to date him I need to verify that he is loyal. We are young, I’m not going to be secretly cheated on the entire relationship.
Isn't tampering with (as in opening) someone else's mail without the owners permission a federal crime? Or am I over-exaggering?
Tell him you’ll only be covering 50% of expenses from now on, so he can work or not work, but his half of the money needs to come from somewhere. You’re not his mommy.
Get your son away from this man, jesus.
This has got to be a troll post. Otherwise,why are you on here asking a question with an answer that is extremely obvious?
Take your kid to the hospital, call the cops on your husband,and get a restraining order on your husband.
Ah I guess that's fair too. I was answering out of personal experience as well. I responded in a joking manner because it seemed so absurd to me I thought it was literally a joke. Once I realized my SO was serious I started becoming upset/angry about the accusations.
I thought that myself but he made me believe his lies I wish I wasn't so stupid back then ugh
I’m keeping this one in my back pocket as well
Maybe I’m not sensitive enough to autism, but it’s a fact that a lot of shitty behavior gets chalked up to it.
Even if you’re neurodivergent, you’re still responsible for your actions. OP, it’s not your boyfriend’s responsibility to teach you to pick up on social cues, let alone save yourself from making a drunken scene. Especially for something as minor as roommates coming back early and inviting themselves to a party at their own house when they’re friends with the birthday boy.
Your post wiggled it’s way to Instagram, and I came from there to just say PLEASE kick her to the curb. You do not deserve to be treated that way at all and it could be damaging your trust further and make it even harder to open up later. She is being straight up abusive to not even acknowledge you exist.
The simple fact all those bad things happen is enough for you to say you've had enough. You can cherish the good times because it won't be all bad but if the bad negatively impacts you, you have to look out for you because he wont
It can be difficult to let your guard down. Eventually, if you want a long, healthy relationship, you are going to have to let someone all the way in.
Give him a chance. Try not to over analyze him too much right now. Have fun.
You need to get a DNA test the second that baby pops out
Then do what you want with your money and the money he gives you, if she gets mad then oh well, tell her to stop putting money before her own child ?♀️
It's great to be loyal, but people need to deserve your love.
If you have to “fight” for his love, then it's a waste of your time.
Trust is something to be earned, not given. He got it for free.
Follow thy gut.
Really hoping for the best for you! 🙂
So to clarify, have both times happened after a pause and pull out?
WTF is up with women having so many “best friends” that assault them? They are not your friend!!!
He’s an AH but not for filing for divorce. You can talk to the police but I’d be surprised if they do anything. Is your state a state where it matters in divorce if the spouse cheated? If so get a private investigator to get proof, otherwise just divorce and you both walk away with whatever you brought into the marriage. Do you own a home together? Or Were you on the lease? You didn’t have to leave your home yet until everything is finalized. Is the car only in your name? Did you both work and pay all the bills? Kids?
Are you sure the company he hired didn’t use the air tag? Just take it out of your car after you talk to the police.
That's a great question that I'm not sure of how to answer?
I can tell you my social security and drivers license number at the blink of an eye, but remembering my birthday or how old I am is hot sometimes. I'm a non traditional college student just because of how much I forgot assignments, days I had certain classes, etc. Its really only easily for me to remember if its down right survival, bc I've never missed a day of work in my life lol
But this behavior has only popped up within the past 6 months. Or at least, anything that I found disrespectful has. I just don't bother getting upset with most things in general, which is another issue to work in all together.
It sounds like your boyfriend's behavior has changed, and not for the better. While it's understandable to want to help a partner who may be struggling with financial responsibility, it's not okay for him to berate you and call your writing course “dangerous.”
It's important to communicate with him about how his behavior is making you feel. Let him know that you value his support and care, but that you also need to pursue your own interests and passions. Remind him that you're an adult and capable of making your own decisions about your life.
If he's unwilling to listen or continues to be verbally abusive, it may be time to reevaluate the relationship. No one deserves to be treated that way, and you deserve to be with someone who supports and encourages you.
Additionally, it's important to have clear expectations and boundaries in your relationship. If you need help with the dog, groceries, and cooking, make sure you communicate that with him in a respectful and assertive way. A healthy relationship involves give and take, and it's important for both partners to contribute in their own ways.
Ultimately, trust your instincts and don't ignore red flags. You deserve to be in a supportive and loving relationship.
You shoulda staring acting questions when she put Clorox wipes on her genitalia, then you should’ve asked her to leave when she stated putting Clorox wipes on your genitalia.
Marry her, get her on a good diet and to the gym each day …. obesity gone and problem solved.
Ask him directly
there's a rumor on reddit that some men's odors are incompatible sexually to other women
When someone invites a person to a party when they haven't spoken in months, my MLM-dar goes off. I wonder if this bachelorette party is going to involve a Pure Romance salesperson lol. I was once invited to the bachelorette of someone I'd never met for this reason.
I'd say just decline the invite. They're not your friends. She's been crappy to you, and the guys who are shunning you for not dating them are super duper crappy. Let them go and be free.
Very well said??
When you get into the real world, you'll see that not everyone behaves like they're in high school.
Do whatever it takes to find Allison and cut your Mom off. You're an adult, it is time to form your own family. Your Mom could have remained in your life, but she gave up that right when she did this awful thing. Put Allison first and cut off your mother.