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Jennie and Sophia, y.o.
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I'd leave it. She may not feel she's ready to bring in outside forces into the relationship yet, and wants to keep it to herself just a bit longer. If she does mention the 'friendship' say positive things, tell her you've noticed how much happier she is since she's made this conenction, and your so happy to see it, but don't try to pry, some people just want a little privacy in a relationship.
He may have had every intention of withdrawing but being drunk does affect responses. You should consider a long term contraception if you are not ready to have children – Implanon (? I think thats how it’s spelt) or IUD such as Mirena which lasts 5 years. Withdrawal method is the least effective contraception. This is not about him not respecting your boundaries, you state the intercourse was consensual, this is about something that is already highly ineffective, and you both had impaired judgment.
His reaction to your question is the most suspicious thing out of the story. That he effectively managed not to answer your question is second.
I doubt something has happened yet between them, but he is certainly tempted.
But, she isn’t helping your MIL by making sure your kids are up and get to school, she is helping you and your husband.
My take on the situation is that she’s blameless in this, but your husband is at least considering attempting an affair.
The real question is why the fuck do you share a phone? That is incredibly odd
In 2009 I found out I have a half-sister and I definitely think honesty is the best policy here. The circumstances are very different, but keeping secrets is destructive. Your mother should be told. She probably thinks he's having an affair too.
Your husband shouldn't be ingoring you all night. At the same time, do you on-line in an area in which a 2nd house is a good investment, given your savings/income? Will you get good ROI? It's not bonkers to think that cutting certain “luxuries” is a better way to make a certain investment, rather than dipping into your liquidity (again, depending on your market). Perhaps ask this in a better sub, depending on whether you want advice about how he deals vs. your financial thought.
if what you say is true then they have a horrible marriage with zero communication. any normal wife in this siutation would pull OP aside in private and let him know she changed her mind. in your scenario wtf would she lie to him? she easily say I CHANGED MY MIND BUT DONT TELL HIM.
ya'all are weird
She was with her friend (girl). I just find it weird she posted it inn “close friends” clearly so I could see it and now when I didnt wrote her, she probably deleted me from “close friends”.. Sometimes I just dont get things 😀
or because they would prefer a more attractive woman who isn't trying to rush kids?
Good idea here OP
You have sex once a night, you cuddle together in bed while you sleep together. You hold hands. You give each other little kisses. That's a LOT of physical touching. If that's not enough for you, then you have some VERY high needs for physical contact.
You need to talk to your obgyn and ask the risks/benefits of going off the pill, not Reddit. They should be able to give you other BC options that will work for you.
Reach
Reach
You'll keep trying to find the middle ground for a solution and she will do whatever she wants with the help of her support. Imagine if she started accusing you of being an abusive person or filed a false report just to get back at you for break up, what are you gonna do then? You'll be stuck in that middle ground trying to find where the F you need to go.
Dude, when someone shows you their true colours, you need to see them and not close your eyes.
Consult a lawyer ASAP and start documenting/ recording (if that's legal in your state) every interaction with her. Also, start accounting for all the expenses you have made for her as a counter for her claim.
You'll keep trying to find the middle ground for a solution and she will do whatever she wants with the help of her support. Imagine if she started accusing you of being an abusive person or filed a false report just to get back at you for break up, what are you gonna do then? You'll be stuck in that middle ground trying to find where the F you need to go.
Dude, when someone shows you their true colours, you need to see them and not close your eyes.
Consult a lawyer ASAP and start documenting/ recording (if that's legal in your state) every interaction with her. Also, start accounting for all the expenses you have made for her as a counter for her claim.
Cue twilight zone theme music
You would be annoyed that every time you want a serious conversation, the answer is always dark humor.
I ask about our future, marriage, house = he is silent Anything else = dark humor The only thing he is serious about is his mother and family.
I do have a sense of dark humor so I am not always annoyed but if your boyfriend always jokes about pushing you down the stairs if you got pregnant, you would start to think if he is not joking. He even said he would kidnap our kids to teach them a lesson.
You will be much better off and more well informed if you learn to do your own research rather than asking redditors – they are usually uninformed and rude about it to boot.
You’re using words she doesn’t understand, I promise ?
I could be home wearing my leggings and oversized sweatshirt, with my messy hair up, and he still treats me like I’m a sexy goddess. But the lingerie really gets him speechless.
That's what you are teaching them. Please leave. Being alone is a thousand times better than being with someone like him.
I’d go straight ahead and ask her if she’s cheating.
Yeah, this is just… ick.
He's whiteknighting. He has an image of himself as such a perfect swain, but all this sounds like masking behaviours for toxic masculinity.
It is NEVER your 'job' to tell him not to ogle other women. I've never heard of anything so ridiculous. Oh wait, yes I have, I'm on reddit…. but this is up there.
I don’t think so.
Are you comfortable with having a potential on-line in sharer? Think of your sex life: no kitchen counter, strutting from bathroom to bedroom sans robe. Chatter over coffee, forced convo. Your GF squealing my love to gay friend, laughing with him… it is a big ask whether or not she is cheating. The My love depends on your gf. Is she a bit theatrical, is she Welsh? Maybe meet the guy first and trust your gut. But yes, it is a big ask.
I'm sure there are tons of posts like this bc people can be embarrassed about their previous sexual partners.
This is def having a toll on OP's life as he posted about it on this sub.
I think the chump thing is bc he's been kicking it with this group of men for years, never knowing they all were with his gf first. It's immasculating.
Blackmail her back and get a lot of stuff AND THEN tell your dad ?
I would say it's fairly common to not want your partner to be friends with someone they've had sex with so I don't think it's toxic at all
does your bff have a partner? What exactly was her role in the break up of the other couple? Is there another reason he might not like her?
I will say that his friends all being cheaters doesn't bode well for you, if he's covering for them then they'll cover for him
Ultimately, you'll probably face this issue a lot in dating (I doubt this one will last), mixing platonic friendships with romantic and/or sexual attraction/experiences just overly complicated things. I know you were young when you did it and it's not a big deal as you don't want to repeat it but the fact is it did happen and situations like these are the consequences
Fair enough. Better put then 'you've been staying at home' and etc. The idea is the same, though.
Eventually you were going to want to get back out there and it is clear he has not taken that especially well.
He’s toxic. He’s a user and a gaslighter. None of this was your fault. He manipulated you every step of the way.
Now you need to be strong and not let him back in again. My advice is to block him on everything. Do not respond to messages and do not let him in your home. This is a bad man and you need to not be near him or have any contact with him for your own well-being.
“I don't think of myself as a victim.”
But we do!
See? That's the difference from seeing things from outside the cage rather than from the inside!