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Yes but that is not how society treats it at all. Society advises the low libido to go to a doctor, take meds, try to change etc.
whoever asks pays
You will always have to have permission.
Kept us updated
I think you had the right idea. Just don't intitate contact as you don't need a one sided friendship. Wait until her birthday and send her the same message back and see how she reacts.
Honestly, sounds like she got a new boyfriend, girlfriend, job, or some interest and is completely engulfed in it. You also never mentioned ages. I know between 18-25, many friends split apart as their interests and direction in life change. I had this happen many times to me and by me.
Dude that should be a crime
the #1 leading cause of death for pregnant women is homicide.
sis please leave while you still can. there is absolutely nothing that warrants this type of behavior.
Uhhh that's not a normal roommate relationship, yall are clearly together in some way. I don't brush my teeth, wrestle, or cuddle my roommates.
Think more primal. It's not wrong to play around with that IMO. Dance, clothing, make-up all these are teasing our sexual senses.
So you showered at his brothers house….? Because?? We need more clarification to this story. ??
I've been with my gf for almost 4 years, and both of our sexual pasts are just that, the past. We don't ask for details. I could understand if you were both teenagers, but God damn, you should both be well grown up by now.
I dont think he will ever get past this, and you should be glad he's shown you who he is. Find someone who won't care about these childish things.
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We really just rotate through the same issues in this sub, lol
Jesus idk why everyone is downvoting you, I am the same way as this. I’m not vindictive, to me it’s easier to just leave than try to do some extra bs to get back at someone.
Yeah I was skeptical of posting here, it’s amazing how hostile people have been to me here.
She’s never had a boyfriend, they’ve all been causal hookups, that’s what bothers me the most.
Ultimately, you are the problem here because you are engaging with her on a more than just friends level. Just reading your post the way you say things like ” I do love her so much more than anything in this world” I can see why she would develop romantic feelings over time dude. You can't just go around telling people “I just can't imagine life without her”.
One day whether it's you or someone else. Her life likely is going to become “their life”. And if it's not you then you will be living life without her.
So… my mom had the same mentality as your wife. Skinny is better. That's why I was raised, yes raised in an anorexic lifestyle. At 20 years old, 5'5″, I weighed drumroll 83lbs. I wound up in inpatient ED rehab after fainting and falling down a flight of stairs. I had developed POTs because of the lack of nutrients I was getting. My appendix burst because it woke up from its latent state (really was cool to learn the actual function of the appendix). I had begun to develop brittle bone disease at 20! I am now 30 and weigh where I should that is healthy for me… 135lbs. There are some scary ramifications I deal with health wise, but overall, I am healthy.
Best advice get your wife into therapy… before she does the same thing my mom did to me.
What do you mean to have a back up plan? You want to start matching with girls now so if you break up you’ll be ahead of the game? Nah, that’s fucked up. Stop dedicating your energy elsewhere and work hard to save your relationship, or end things.
Dating apps are not meant for friends, they’re meant for sexual/romantic partners. A good portion of your likes will be from people that don’t read your profile and swipe on you because you’re attractive and they want to date/sleep with you. Especially don’t use it to find friends as a “back up plan”…. They’ll be matching with you to be friends, and you’ll be romantically interested in them. That’s wrong.
If you really don’t want to meet people organically, then id say go on bumble. They have a specific section for making friends. Don’t go on your traditional dating apps like tinder or bumble date.
And of course, tell your gf about it. Getting caught with bumble on your phone is NOT going to go down well. Let her check your profile and who you match with.
Your boyfriend is an alcoholic. And in denial at that. If he's not willing to admit there's a problem and do something about it there's nothing you can do. You have two choices: online with an alcoholic or move on and find a better partner. You're young so there's zero reason to stick with someone who is not working out for you. And whatever you do DO NOT have a baby with this man.
Is there money involved? If there is then this is a major event in your lives and absolutely needs to be discussed between you.
So therefore you were deliberately excluded and he knew that and therefore didn't tell you so you wouldn't blow up before the meeting.
That does not say “honesty, trust, communication, respect” to me as regards your relationship.
He knew you would be upset.
On the surface your husband is saying “something like boss didn't want a couple” but I am not buying that one. I would want a calm sit down talk with the boss about this choice, is it a managment one and you are not management? Or if you are then what do they think the consequences to the business are if a couple takes over and say eventually splits? Because that could be covered by some legal work beforehand.
I would get more than just your husbands take on the reasons before you make a final decision but I would still update my CV and look elsewhere even if just for the boost in confidence. They knew what this would look like to you, they are not stupid. Being valued and respected is very important and you could have been involved without being secretive about it. That would have been the adult way to do this. It isn't like they were going to keep it a secret going forward.
Schedule a meeting with the boss, have someone with you and record it. Set an agenda beforehand, be super professional about where they see your role going forward with these four people as owners. Approach it as a professional meeting for you to know where you stand now that you have been removed from the planning. Like who would you report to etc.
Once you have all the facts you will know exactly where you stand and the next step is up to you.
He had a bad experience with alcohol but he didn't stop doing it. It is perfectly possible to be an alcoholic on just beer.
Fck no, RUN!
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Hey, I know the age gap isn’t THAT big, but let’s think for a sec. Would 26 year old aidesilly9997 be proud of 22 year old aidesilly9997 for staying with a partner who did something humiliating during sex, the one time you’re supposed the most vulnerable with another person? Maybe this was a one off thing, but is he that uneducated about sex? Female orgasms don’t work like mens, woman can orgasm multiple times in a row. As a 26 year old man, he should really know that by now.
Exactly this. A meal at an unusual restaurant, a quick weekend trip someplace, take him skydiving, take him snowboarding/surfing/scuba diving, etc. Gift him an experience instead of a material object.
You can still get him a small inexpensive gift to open (even better if it's something you make for him, like a memory book, or a frame with your favorite photo of you two). But having a fun experience together sounds so much better than expensive material stuff.
You are a grown woman and can make your own decisions. Don't expect your bf to fight your battle for you though when you piss off the neighbor. Personally, I'd take the same approach your bf took simply because it's likely that senile old f**k will drop dead from a heart attack in the near future. It sounds like he is just picking his battles as wisely as he can.
Definitely agree with this commenter. Young kids really drain a mother’s sex drive. The fact that she still want to meet your needs actually says a lot about how much she loves and values you.
I had this same situation with my husband (our 20th anniversary is coming up this year) when our kids were young. He was always like, I want YOU to want it too! It was tense because I wanted to be left the F alone. I had to explain over and over that I still loved just the intimacy of having him physically close but I needed the sex part to be about him for a while.
I also recommended something that really helped us: to talk to other men in his life stage and find out how much sex they are having and how much passion and lust their spouse with kids is showing them. Like, I demanded he talk to his friends. So he did. Very candidly. Lo and behold, it turns out that the regular sex he was having twice a week was much, MUCH MORE than men in his situation. The average out there was like once or twice every 1-2 months. I knew this was the case from my convos with other moms. But he had to hear it for himself.
Do your relationship a solid and hang in there, giving your wife space and respect. Don’t guilt trip her for not being into it with full force as it were. Trust me that when the kids get a little older, she will remember and the passion will come back. You’re on the right track.
He expects you to do his work for him. Dump him now. Do the project on your own and tell your professor that he isn’t helping.
This was very heartbreaking to read. I am so sorry this happened to you and that your gf is such a weak person that she let very unprofessional co workers tamper with her to the point she broke up. They are not her friends and that never should have happened, nor should she have allowed it to continue. I believe she was much more of an active participant in it than she is letting on. What she showed you was that she was someone that lacks integrity, and frequently airs all her dirty laundry to anyone willing to bend their ear to her. She lacks the maturity to know when and what to keep as her business, and what should and shouldn’t be work talk. She is not mature enough to be a wife. For her sake, hopefully she grows up. But you are right, it’s well and fine to be sorry, but actions still have consequences and her actions pretty clearly showed her ass.
Totally.
While being from Germany I think OP is right.
Where there is such a thing as legitimate self- defense beating burglars bloody is not included.
It could be judged as an assault.
There being a woman involved whom OP wanted to protect this might antenuate the sentence slightly.
But he should at least be in for some community hours or other.
Calling you babe and saying it more casually that you don’t need connections to anyone else doesn’t help at all. The initial way you posted it and the edit are both concerning. Yeah maybe you should have mentioned it was to your mom because it could come off as a being a former partner since you wouldn’t say who. But that’s where if she’s uncomfortable she sits down with you like an adult to tell you she’s uncomfortable with you wearing a bracelet attaching you to a previous partner all the time, that it feels like you haven’t moved on. Then you could have corrected her that it was your mom, and if she wasn’t crazy it would move on. So even without telling her, she reacted in an impulsive immature and frankly controlling way. That alone is enough to break up.
that’s what i would think, however again he denies it just by saying “i think i would know by now”
Oh shut up.
Not sure what you mean. If she wanted to protect herself from sadness and disappointment she wouldn't be dating at all. Or are you implying that sadness and disappointment can only occur when a marriage fails, and not just for any failed relationship?
She's not protecting herself from sadness. She's protecting herself from a legal headache. Big difference there.
Most ppl dont give closure. The times I have got it it was yrs later. And i def didnt get it from my ex husband, also cheated btw.
I'm sorry your daughter is dealing with this and I hope she gets the help she needs. I know this must be extremely difficult for her to struggle with her identity and for you to have to relearn your child's own name. Good luck.
Dude, kick her out,
If she is doing this to everyone, I'd say it's really likely she is going through a difficult time, may even have developed a mental illness. Try talking to her and getting her to open up, she likely needs support right now.
Op, you haven’t done anything wrong. Even in the past. Be wary of your partner. There is a power imbalance here because of age difference and and she is using very strong and untrue accusations to make you doubt yourself and to control you.
Think what is behind this? She might be worried that you are so much younger that you will meet someone your own age.
Please stick up for yourself and don’t just see things her way.
She likely learned to ignore the reality of it. Children who grow up in these conditions develop coping habits to survive. One is denial of the situation. I knew my home wasn’t like others but I had no idea how it looked and felt to outsiders. It’s a complex issue.
At this point you have issues because why would you marry someone who from the beginning you knew wasn't over his ex. Like, is he the only man in the world?? And you keep getting kids with him, do you think that will change anything for the better???
its the farthest thing from being a baby. this only will happen once
thank you for the kind advice, most of these comments are just people basically shouting at me like i’ve done something wrong, i will try to listen to the advice.
Just leave he’s manipulating you
I recommend looking into money psychology. There's a great podcast by Ramit Sethi called “I Will Teach You to be Rich” maybe try out Episode 37. He also has a Netflix show “How to Get Rich” that came out recently.
Really though his book “I Will Teach You To Be Rich” is fantastic, practical personal finance. It's like $10 on Amazon. Some of the best $10 to spend in your life.
The just of any of these materials is that there are “money scripts” or underlying psychology that we all learn from a young age and shapes how people think and feel about money aka money psychology. Money is a huge part of relationships and hopefully with the above resources you can tackle trying to have a conversation about money.
The podcast should help you get a feel to maybe how to frame the conversation differently. The book can help provide practical advice on banks, credit cards, compound interest, debt, investing, and just all around good financial sense.
I wish you the best of luck.