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Great question!
He was allegedly emotionally/verbally abusive to ex-wife and allegedly had inappropriate texts with a teen fan. (I think 16 or something?)
When he got cancelled I stopped listening for a long time. Considered even selling my collection. However, I grew up in the music industry and still work in the industry and I am very aware of how alcohol and cocaine abuse turns people into monsters. He is sober now.
BUT
That does not forgive being any age an adult can be and having weird communications with a teen. But I'm not sure if those are verified.
So when I started listening again I listened from the perspective of a sober person in pain and is trying to “reform” themselves, if that makes sense. But to be honest I just block out the whole teen fan because 1) it's not 100% verified and 2) I admit it would make me stop listening and I'm not ready for that.
Blocking someone for disrespecting you is not toxic behavior. If you've already explained how this hurt you and he's done nothing to apologize, explain himself or try to mend what he did..leave. 100% no contact starting now.
Thanks for the explanation!!
I get what you are saying, for now I’m trying to work on being as excited as I can portray while appreciating
Grow up. Troll better.
Most people think that when you fall in love with someone, you stay exactly as you were in the beginning, but alk relationships go through an ebb and flow. Only you can figure out if that's what this is – just throwing it out there because it's real, and part of the reason relationships take work.
Intimacy is an important part of desire. Feeling wanted, needed, loved, safe, comfortable are all parts of that too.
Emotional connections in relationships are critical for them to last, but so is communication. Try to figure out what you're missing, and then talk to him about it. Who knows, maybe he's missing something too. Work on making things better together. Good luck! ❤️
First off, she’s pregnant and her hormones are going crazy! Please take her actions and words with a grain of salt, after 4 pregnancies I can tell you it’s hot. But it’s easy at the same time.
Express your willingness and desire to help as a friend or as a bf, which ever she chooses
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It's never mutual. My guess is she cheated in his dad or at least was the one to initiate the divorce and OP is siding with his dad for now.
Give him sone time (many more months) before bringing up his mom again.
What are you talking about? She should tell him AND leave him. Because it’s the right thing to do. She Is well aware how fucked up she is so she should take ALL the responsibility and leave to protect him. Don’t give him the chance in a weak moment of grief or confusion to choose to stay with her.
In what way does she get sick? It's kind of vague and can be anything from her having a psychological reaction to the idea, to technique (she knows that she doesn't have to deep throat it I hope), or a hygiene issue on your side.
I think Kate is jealous of your very pretty gf.
You know that it's not your insecurities acting up? Dude. You are a mess. Get some help.
He is clearly very good at lying and manipulation.
His wife told you that he has cheated before you too.
If you leave the door open at all, he will convince you to be with him again.
If he ever leaves his wife for you…. he will then cheat on you.
I am so sorry you are hurting, grieve it and get on with living xx
I'm so sorry for yur daughter, she is trapped in a family of … machist. They can do whatever with their money but funny that they don't doubt about their your son, but yes about your daughter. Any specific reason?
All the more reason to go on the list right away haha
You know having boundaries is all neat and dandy but they are absolutely useless if we don’t enforce them. You set yours, he crossed it and you did not enforce it having him think he can walk all over them and you without any consequences. One more saying might be of use to you, you teach people how to treat you, and you taught your bf you’re ok with being a doormat. Have the talk, and take the key back. Lesson learned.
Usually an allowance is contractual. An allowance for a service. Kids do chores, get an allowance.
How would you benefit from giving her this allowance? Especially if she already has a salary? Wake up.
“I don't know what to do…” Yes, you do know what to do. He has now shown you who he really is and has given you a taste of what the rest of your life will be like if you stay with him. Pack your things today and get out of there. Make sure you take all your important personal papers, personal possessions, and other things you brought with you into the marriage. Have both your parents go with you for your protection. Then get in to see a lawyer first chance possible.
I wish you good luck in your new life.
I work with abuse survivors. You are a survivor! Now find that sunlight and do whatever it takes to get you some in your ONE precious life!
Seems like a troll.
I do not like you lol. Like man tf up, make very hot desicions and stop fucking these women over
I’m also taking that into consideration. We do plan on marrying probably next year and will buy a house together in the future.
I also do NOT want to be a “well I’m only putting in xx hours of work because that’s exactly how many you put in” kind of person. I think I’m struggling with feeling like there’s more workload on me and that he doesn’t seem to value what I do. If I didn’t work at all, then I would gladly take all of these roles on without any hesitancy.
I also know that I am super easily influenced by what’s live. I’m not one of those like “red pill” girls by any stretch of the imagination, but I do think that like having a girl do traditionally feminine work gets a bad rep. So I’m having those thoughts too. I’m very mixed up about it all.
I was thinking about asking him to just put the plates and glasses in the dishwasher after dinner.
Oh I meant to add that he is a blue collar man. He sometimes works really long hours. That’s kind of rare though. However, it isn’t rare that he’s done a lot of really physical labor in the day. Although I also work (I’m a teacher), I still think the fact that he’s doing physical labor should be in consideration.
Hell, even in just this comment and the post you can tell I am fighting myself back and forth about it.
Reading the whole thing helps
I think youve established that his behaviour is one way only. Maybe there are things and gifts he does that's for you only that's not communicated here? If the relationship is indeed one way, maybe you've done your assessment already and would move on. People don't tend to be less selfish as time goes on. And it seems hes stopped working on this relationship and is just coasting without much input.
Yep, me too.
My ex-fiance would give me the spiel that Valentine's Day is a commercial holiday, blahblahblah.
Then he met his bestie (a girl) when we were in the LDR, suddenly, he's spending Valentine's day with her. He bought her gift (never bought me V-day gift) and even would go out of his way to help her out.
Glad that I didn't marry that one too lol
Have you ever cheated or has he?
Guess what? He’s a grown man of sound mind. You can tell him what an uninsured quadruple bypass will cost him, and he’ll lose everything except his home. Other than that, there’s exactly nothing you can do.
Never put anyone else’s name down as the financially responsible individual in any of his medical care. His debts will not pass on to you.
I know you’re more worried about his health, but it’s out of your hands. Love & accept him for who his is, and stop prodding him. Your efforts to help will just continue to upset you both.
Except if that were true then you wouldn't be having a conversation with him about it. What he actually means is that you aren't submitting to his decision (which he doesn't have the authority to make). Honestly this dude sounds controlling and misogynistic.