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I haven’t yet seen a comment of OP saying she told him this during the day when he was right awake. Only during the night where he just keeps sleeping. If it is a sleep thing he might not know it yet because he’s not actually awake when she tells him.
If she has I have just missed that comment.
Believe people when they say things, even dumb things. If she wishes to be with him, free her to do so. You do not want to keep this sort of person around, best to wish her luck and send her merrily on her fucking way.
She definitely has feelings for him.
But it's not her job to be faithful to his girlfriend. It's his job to be faithful to his girlfriend.
I have female friends. I have close female friends. I have female friends that I exchange dirty jokes with. I have female friends that I jokingly flirt with. I even have female friends that I have hooked up with.
But even I would never let a friend put her hands all over me, film it, and then post it as the love of her life. That's fucked up. My wife is a very patient woman, but there are limits.
You should hold it against him. He's disgusting. He didn't do it for you, he did it for himself. Even if it had nothing to do with SA, I would be angry and disgusted if my husband tried to initiate sex when I'd just been crying.
they always are
Just tell him the truth. You went behind his back to experiment. The rest is up to him
My opinion-
There’s no such thing as perfect, maybe he is perfect for you, but it’s been 4 months so check yourself on your expectations and don’t put him on a pedestal – that isn’t fair to either of you.
41 and has only been to 1 strip club in his life? Sorry- not buying that. I’ve heard that line before and usually it means « it’s not my scene » but by 41 he has likely been on business trips, to bachelor parties etc
Why do you feel uncomfortable? Because he is going to a sexually charged environment where alcohol is served and you won’t be there to supervise. If you’re that concerned you can talk to him and establish boundaries you are comfortable with (no touching, no private dances, etc) but 4 months in, he has done the courtesy of letting you know about the invite and that it’s not his scene, so I would probably leave it at that.
It sounds like u two have a healthy relationship. Sadly, most ppl have to work very hot to make a living. I normally work 50-60 hr work weeks. I don't get to see my g/f as much as I want to that's for sure but those bill's dont ever stop coming. Honestly, I thinking u shld send him a link to your post. To me I feel like it says everything you want him to know and understand.
You two are young and have lots of time. Cherish the time you have, do a day trip on ur days off or something where it's just you two. Wishing u the best of luck.
Sounds like she has to figure herself out. You have no obligation to stay with someone who doesn’t want to be intimate with you and doesn’t want to go to therapy with you to resolve the issue.
Immediately no. I would not tolerate that one bit. Not only is he disrespecting you, he’s cheating. It doesn’t matter if he doesn’t get their number. Why does he need to go chat with some other lady? YOU ARE HIS LADY. Next thing you know, he’s gonna cheat on you like physically. Him flirting with these girls, this is emotional cheating. Please do not overlook this behaviour. If this happened to me I’d be so heartbroken and sad.
So if someone acts shitty it gives someone moral right to act shitty in return by your logic? A nice proposal for cycle of hate and etc
Badumcha
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It seems strange to me that he’s able to reconnect with the friend following this falling out but you’re not to be included in the rekindled friendship. How do you feel about this? Do you have an interest in a rekindled friendship with this guy?
Do not tell ANYONE a damn thing until you have been with them for 8 months to a year. Minimum. Money changes people and attracts bad intentions. Money shouldn’t even be in the mix of things at 23. Most 20 year olds are broke, and you’re putting a HUGE target on your back for people with manipulative intentions.
Oh, maybe she's anxious in the new environment? If this didn't start til recently I'd look into an animal behaviorist to understand why and what you can do to help her.
A lot of guys apparently don't think live! relationships are actually cheating. I.e. Sex chats and sexting
Caught my dude doing it when I was 8 months pregnant and he honestly thought it was the same as watching porn
..some guys are fucking stupid
Too… much… porn ?
No lecture but you need to wake up. 4 kids and Alan who still desire you. Grass ain’t greener any where. My advise you are burned out. No date night will save you , you need alone time. No girls night out but alone time
Your gf deserves better. You have been emotionally cheating, you are lucky that your gf is so secure about you and not saying anything about you hanging out with your friend for 10 hours a day. Lol. This is emotional cheating on your side. If you still love your gf, talk to her and put all these efforts in this relationship.
You barely know each other after 6 months.
6 months is 100% a long enough time to know someone if your seeing them atleast 4 times a week especially, this is not including the time they knew eachother before starting to date.
Also take it easy people here are forgetting how society is these days, a good % of 22yr olds or under these days already have kids or WANT to marry, Personally I disagree with something like this as well, but you have to respect what someone wants, at 22 you are 90% of the time mature enough to understand what you want, whether it's right or wrong people can have opinions, but it's that, opinion…not a fact.
My boyfriend made up for it later on lol. Ill definitely tell them to knock from now on but i have a feeling they already learned that lesson.
I'm giving you permission: you're allowed to end a relationship at any time for any reason.
OCD is not “being a perfectionist.” OCD is having constant intrusive thoughts and anxiety that are only relieved by doing a rituals or specific activities. The rituals and activities interfere with daily life and relationships. It's a horrible way to live!. There are medicines and behavioral therapies that can help. But he needs to be the one to want help and put in the effort.
Yeah, you need to talk to him as others have said.
Sometimes, relationships that actually take time to build without the whole dating and all that turn out to be better.
I knew my wife for 2 years before she ever agreed to a date. Granted, she knew I liked her. We saw each other often and talked a lot.
If he says he is not interested, ask him why he is not. If he does not have a good answer, keep being friends and hope it changes. If he has a clear reason why, keep being friends but move on knowing nothing more is there.
You're an insecure, controlling, immature person. You're 20, not 12.
You should work weaving that person suit, it’s very valuable – dependent on your lifestyle and occupation of course
So simple thank you lol I’m probably overthinking it
Is the corn still on the cob? Or has it been removed?
Idk I don’t have many friends and felt like I wanted to tell someone this.
So. You had an angry issues that cost you your family. Now you are angry with this fact. It’s infinite circle. You need to focus on that and get professional help (or double up your efforts if you’re already in therapy) How fast your wife moved on is not relevant to your situation. You fixated on the wrong thing.
Yea honestly bro, not worth it. I would recommend meeting more people and slowly getting over it because there’s a chance you will move on and you’ll still be able to keep your friendship
Because he’s forcing me to have abortions? Some more background, the first time when I got pregnant and was leaning towards keeping it, he called himself my meal ticket. He then proceeded to say that he wanted a legal contract saying that if we broke up, I wouldn’t put him on child support. I agreed because I don’t care about that. He then added that if we broke up he wanted full custody of the kid and would refuse to co-parent with me.. I asked if they would be in separate legal contracts and he said no, that both would be in the same. He then proceeded to tell me that we could go to court and he could guarantee that his lawyers would be better than mine. (An RN-BSN). I’m not an a-hole. Stupid maybe. But not an A-hole.
I mean life is stressful all the time. Shit happens. Why would he say he doesn’t love you anymore and that the marriage vows mean nothing because of shit happening, if he didn’t truly mean it. He’s 32, he’s not that young. I dunno. Is there someone else maybe? I’m sorry OP. Good luck.
My dad cheated on my mum for 26 years with the same woman he cheated on his first wife with. Mum found out ~10 years into the marriage and wasted another 16 years of her life. Found evidence every couple of years. She left him and became a completely different, amazing person. Don’t be like my mum. Stop wasting your god damn time
In the same way that you seek older men for a little more maturity, not something that is unreasonable or wrong at all, be aware that a lot of older guys are seeking younger women for the opposite. They aren't there to relate with young trauma sufferers, they want someone that is easily dazzled or manipulated. That's why even as soon as a couple of dates in you see that trend. That or they are just exploring a weird daddy style kink, though often that ends up the same thing anyway.
And yeah, if your dating goals are unique then the pool of people reciprocating will also be unique. After all, if they want to date women with maturity they, well, would just date women their own age.
She’s ridiculous. Don’t waste anymore time on her.
20 years from now do you want to be 46, in your prime, and sorting his 66-year-old's heart medication for him while he degrades you?
No? Then goooooo now.
Honey I'm sure you're smart enough to know that things like DNA tests exist and are getting more and more common to do even for just shits and giggles. Your kid will eventually find out that's not his real dad, your husband will find out as well, and there's every chance at that point you will have alienated your child as well.
Keep in mind that condoms are far less reliable as birth control than the pill or an IUD. Don’t count on condoms- 20% of people who use condoms exclusively get pregnant in a year.
im saying she should go along with his request, because when she becomes a mom they will never really be able to do that again. At least not for a while
I would have a come to Jesus talk with him about this issue. Tell him that he needs to work on his insecurities because his behavior is pushing you away. Like this is the last straw and unless he actually puts some work into himself to get over this, you're out, because living every day waiting to be accused of one thing or another makes your life worse, and relationships are supposed to make your life better.
Know that if he truly does try to work on this, there may still be some slip ups. But you will be able to tell if he's truly trying to change or if he's just trying to put on a show of “trying” before slowly getting back to his old ways.
Imo as a fellow 30 something year old woman – I am way too old to have to deal with little boys and their egos. Especially with someone his age that should have moved past this possesive teenage boy version of a relationship. Like this is literally how my boyfriend in high school behaved, right down to the “why do you have more fun with your friends than with me?!?!?? Pout pout pout”. Lol fuck that.
He isn’t just accusing, he says he has evidence.