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You’re right!!! Thank you.
I second this 100%. Not for a second would I keep my lips on him as he watches his phone. If you do try to “fix” this I would 100% start with him handing over / putting out of reach his phone before anything physical starts.
Like other victims of crimes maybe you and this guy should talk to counselors about the feelings you have. You're not wrong to feel violated. But do try to separate your righteous indignation for being cyber harassed from your illogical anger at this guy for having sex with a psycho while you two were broken up. You can fault him for not properly vetting this person before he slept with them. You can't fault him for seeking sex at a time when the two of you weren't together.
Nothing, if that's what he wants. But it's not what OP wants, and it's not what most women want in an adult partner. OP finds it weird, and it's definitely odd. It's not the norm. It sounds unhealthy, but whether it is or it isn't – it isn't what OP wants. So they shouldn't feel guilty about leaving that mess behind
No truly I don’t expect penetrative sex at all I haven’t suggested it in months. It’s the lack of sexual activity in general that gets to me. I’m scared to bring up the vaginismus thing again because I haven’t mentioned it in months as I don’t want to pressure her or upset her.
The reason I think vaginismus needs to be treated is I think that it is the root cause behind the lack of sexual activity in general as I think she feels inadequate or pressures herself.
Because I’ve told her a million times I don’t care if we never have penetrative sex. But I do make it clear we need to have other forms of sex which then doesn’t happen very often. As before vaginismus we would mostly just do intercourse and not much else (she didn’t usually want to do much else) now it’s the same minus the intercourse
Yes. If she really loved you, if she really wanted to spend her life with you, she would wouldn’t have broken up. She wouldn’t risk you moving onto somebody else and not having a chance with you in the future. There’s nothing stopping her from going on antidepressants, going to therapy, etc while dating you.
Tell each of them you can't choose, that you care deeply about both of them, and that the solution is that you're going to date both of until one of them caves. That's the only way you can determine who's more committed.
You need to take some time away. Your feelings were not reciprocated, so you should take time to let them die down. You don't need to tell her this. Just put off getting together for a while.
Tell your ex good luck finding a good relationship without communication.
He’s also projecting about the manipulation. Using the silent treatment to get you to reach out to him. Silent treatment can sometimes actually be a form of abuse.
haha yeah girls are happy to remain committed for 6 whole months, turning down potential suitors while he doesn't actually date her. reality is not going to be kind to y'all.
Have you tried to plan something during the day or do you just give vague timeframes
What’s ENM ?
She was 13 not 15. They are now two consenting adults, and he’s always had a crush on her. This is really not that weird.
Luckily I don't online with him this time! My last relationship i did and boy that was awful.
I just tested this with my due date…its scary accurate. To the day, haha.
This was my thought as well. Taylor doesn't want the BF, she wants his attention. She was used to having his attention for the last decade. The new GF is an impediment to that.
Also, the BF is acting sketchy about Taylor. I wouldn't be surprised if she is his true long-term pursuit but is only dating another because he can't have Taylor. I imagine a scenario where she will always be his #1 choice should she ever finally decide she wants him.
But evidently he does want to feel special if he wants to invite 30 people on a birthday camping trip? Be as casual as you like, but that takes a lot more planning than meeting up at the pub
Still isn't much. You can't get sack of cements that small here at least. And that's irrelevant. More relevant when talking about weight gain is how much the weight was. 20 lb more on a 200 lb person is a lot different than the same amount gained on someone half their size.
Everything they said is correct OP also just ask his SIL and brother if you can just help with things when you are with them or if they need u to get anything. I've been in situations where i asked my previous bfs this and they were like nooooo it's fine.
Then feel super awkward and Shy around his family because EVERYONE was bringing something specific and i was the only odd duck seeming very inconsiderate because he couldn't be bothered to ask or just thought it wouldn't be a big deal because his cousins were older than us.
So maybe just do that when you see them or ask for SILs contact details so u can just pop her a text and actually know what's what!
And thank them for inviting you!
I've met some of my brothers in laws gfs and the ones that sucked the most were the ones that didn't bother to engage with us, to bring anything to dinners or parties after meeting more than once and just kinda stood around around staring at ppl lol instant dislike from me.
Question, when you saw the post about him, did any of the ladies that said they dated him give any negative feedback at all?
that makes sense. thanks for clarifying.
And yeah… I would never do that. If I wanted to be poly again, i would go to counselling, figure out the boundaries and rules we both agree on, and then start casually dating. I wouldn't spring someone up and be like “HEY IM READY TO DATE OTHER PEOPLE BECAUSE I MET THIS PERSON”
that would be mean to my partner and the new person.
I believe he would want to be married by an ordained minister. I know he wants me to accept God but I don’t wish to completely deny my own beliefs either. I think I can have both, as I don’t believe they contradict each other.
Also she uses breaking up as a blackmail to manipulate OP into doing what she wants and getting what she wants.
Dump that woman. It at once reduces the weight of your life.
And it will make it way cheaper having to only pay your own stuff than both of yours!
No definitly not “just being stupid” lmao. She cheated on you.
It doesn't seem logical for you to be together then. I can't say anything other than, “What the heck.” That’s what it’s giving. Just seems childish idk.
As someone with no emotional ties to your situation, it sounds like a dumpster fire. A partner who is not working or even doing any household labor should have the self-awareness to not get on your case. Do you want to continue living with someone like this?