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I’m confused. This doesn’t give enough to make a decision.
Well they’re not even official yet so technically he didn’t do anything wrong — morally sure but that’s besides the point. Cheating falls on the person doing it not the single person. You did nothing wrong and he’s trying to deflect his guilt onto you. Don’t worry about it and just move in. I’d distance myself from him if I were you.
But if a woman wanted a child and it was a deal breaker if her partner didn’t want them….that’s ok?
I do agree they should not have a kid atleast until she gets sorted
It sounds like you guys need a whole lot of couples counselling before you get married. I would really think nude about postponing the wedding until you can sort this stuff out, she may just be stressed but if this is the way she treats you when she's stressed then it's not a good sign for a happy marriage. It's really up to you if you decide the relationship is worth trying to save or not, sometimes the good times are good enough to want to work on fixing the bad, sometimes no amount of good can balance the level of bad. At the very least you should get some individual counselling so you can sort out your own thoughts and feelings on this. And please get some extra support for the alcohol issues, it is not good for either of you if you pin your sobriety on one person.
“We were lovers now we can't be friends”
Cut him off completely, it's not fair on him, on you and especially on your new/future partners
Dump his dumb ass
A: leave B: leave C: see A & B
This is NOT healthy, far from it. Read your own words and ask yourself if it makes sense that you were sleeping on the couch, without a blanket, in an effort to not make him “mad,” while all along, he’s being extremely unreasonable, and in my opinion, exhibiting a version of abuse.
Who the fuck cares what you were doing… Why is he pretending to be sleeping? Why is he such an ahole & why are you still with him?
This part, it’s your body. He has no bearing on what you do with it. If he has an insecurity HE needs to talk about it instead of projecting.
You need to step back and drop the baggage from your ex. Yes he is changing for the better to impress and keep his new young bride. But your marriage is history. Now it’s time for you your new chapter and work on a better version of you. The old you was naive and believed he was the one. Your next partner shouldn’t be a renovation project like your ex. If they care for you then they should already be motivated to earn your love and respect.
Because comments about his post history have nothing to do with whether his wife is being controlling or not
Yep
Or when her phone dies and she can’t answer him..
No
He doesn’t want another child. Nonsense about god and your little story about how you’re finding the silver lining don’t apply. He knows what he wants. The problem is his wife blackmailing him and withholding sex to get what she wants.
OP I’d be considering divorce if I was treated so poorly by someone who is supposed to love and redirect me.
Point 1 should be discussed with your husband there is no other way to really get down to the bottom of it other than that. Point 2 is absurd please don’t ever listen to people saying you need to seek out more attractive people. Looks are completely and totally meaningless, if you’re content with how he looks then that’s all that matters.
The family thing is a bit problematic as I know family is very important in India, however that kind of issue is usually unfixable.
All you really can try to do is focus on rekindling feelings between you and your husband, things you can control.
Find a new partner. He’s indoctrinated now.
May be an unpopular opinion, but it’s not your fault. Your boyfriend literally kept doing something that he knew was upsetting you. He’s right on that, it’s his fault.
That's why I wrote *likely.
I don't even know why this is a problem. We've all agreed that he will no longer demand that she change her behaviour. He should deal with his insecurities… then sign up for women's volley ball.
What are you talking about?? You responded to my comment first and at no point did I say I wouldn’t spend a cent. I said I will spend the utilities and the percent of the mortgage that is legally in my name. If that percent of the mortgage is 0% then I am paying 0% of the mortgage. If I couldn’t afford to buy, I would rent under a contact where I have legal protections, so my landlord can’t wake up one day and double my rent illegally.
However, I personally have no mortgage or rent to pay, and I’d like to keep it that way.
It sounds like you need to end this relationship
Have you considered looking for partnerships in the poly community? It is possible to find your romantic relationship elsewhere, just maybe harder. l
Idk, looks like I disagree with a lot of people here, but most of a marriage is the friendship aspect, and the romantic part is not strictly necessary unless you need it to be.
You keep asking if things are 'okay' for you to want. It's okay for you to stay and start a family with him, and it's equally okay to call it quits. What feels right?
I’d be gutted if I tried to surprise my husband with an expensive gift and he acted that way. She was really trying to do something super thoughtful for you. If I were you, I’d apologize and choose something else to celebrate myself with. Cmon.
He has to want to be better. He thinks he’s right and has no motivation to change. He’s trying to change your mind even. You can’t will him to improve.
Ugh you have a bad girlfriend she managed to make this entirely about herself and how it's effecting you never mind the fact your the one who suffered and have a nude time trusting to open up to someone and this here is why you struggle to share traumas with someone because then you got someone who's toxic like her
She's immature what does she mean she can't handle this information she's the one who gave you this false idea or hope that she would be you're shoulder to cry on and instead she's shutting you down
Is this really someone who you'd want to have in your life she's not gonna he the supper system you need
You are dating since high school? She realized that she has missed out on seeing other guys and wants to try it now.
Relationships over. She pretty much told you this. Leave with ur dignity intact(ish) my dude.
?
What are some examples of this fighting?
I m still waiting 4 him to come back 🙁
So I think your girlfriend is insecure and has issues she needs to work through, specifically the thing about your energy is just nonsense.
That said, friend B does sound like she is trying to get your attention and her behaviour is inappropriate. Be wary of her and absolutely try to involve your gf in anything you do with her. Maybe make sure that when your gf is around in this group of people you are showing her the most attention.
If you regret telling him then why are you even with him? Why would you want to be with someone you have to be dishonest or hide things from?
Don't stay in a relationship with someone who hits you. That's fucked up behavior, and you don't deserve it.
Personally, I found the best way to get over an ex is to do all the stuff you couldn’t when you were with them. Eat foods like didn’t like, watch movies they weren’t interested in, go places they never wanted to, hang out with people they didn’t vibe with. It’s so much easier to not miss someone when you’re consistently reminding yourself of what freedom from them means.
Love is not a solid reason to remain in a toxic abusive relationship.
You sound desperate and codependent on her. Read some self help books, hit the gym, take up a new hobby and build your own life.
It's harassment if they didn't want to be asked in the first place, not simply if they say no.
Can someone help me out with something. Do people define the strength of their relationships on how many vacations they've been on together? I see it mentioned here a lot. Just curious
Did you reply to the wrong comment?
I didn't mention flirting and come to think of it, neither did OP.
Sounds like she may have postpartum issues and needs to see a doctor to get checked out. Her behaviour sounds a little erratic and she needs medical support to get better. You should offer her the support but obviously wait until she is better to see if your relationship can still work.
I wouldn't stress too much about it. Most women I don't think honestly care, because you're going to have to learn/be taught how to do sex “differently” with literally every woman you meet. We all have different interests and preferences and get off on different things.
That said, I can understand her frustration if she had to try to reach you literally everything, every step, and a ton of assurances along the way. It can completely take us out of the moment. Maybe this isn't the case, but if you're asking multiple times “is this okay* or “how do I do this” then maybe research first (not just porn, there's a ton of other resources) because that's more annoying than inexperience.
For some bizarre reason your boyfriend wants you to feel bad. It’s normal to want your partner to feel a twinge of jealousy from time to time – but this is too much.
Set boundaries. You shouldn’t have to listen to this bullshit. Let him know you won’t accept “jokes” like these anymore. They’re not really jokes BTW, it just sounds like he’s a borderline sadist.
I'm sorry, but he's so, so full of sh*t! You didn't find anything on his phone because he either wiped it clean, is using hidden messaging apps, or has a burner. I honestly can't believe you're buying what he's selling. I strongly suspect, like others before you who chose to bury their head in the sand and believe their cheater's lies, you'll be back here eventually with a post titled “you guys were right, he was cheating” in future. His take away from this will be that they'll have to be much more careful going forward so as not to arouse any more suspicion in you.