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Thank you. I'm thinking about this, but will try to be more careful
What on earth are you talking about? Being upset and afraid is not deliberate.
What is it about then? I feel like if she trusted me she'd tell me. She said she shared it with other people and how am I supposed to support her if I cannot even know what hurts her so deeply
That’s not what he’s doing. He’s being controlling.
Yeah one thing I’ve learned is to never tell what the other said unless it’s positive.
Even if you think it won’t do harm it probably will, I’d say tell your sister you slipped up and told him so she knows why he’ll be acting weird.
Sounds to me like you have hoodie options ??♀️
Break it off. You are saving yourself from a waste of time. He will cheat on u (ur sis or others) n this relationship will be a waste of time. You deserve better. You are better than this
It was so hard to get through the rest of your text after I read that you guys met when you were THIRTEEN and he was a peer figure to you, and then 3 years later—he said he wants to build a life with you—a child (at the time) and no one saw anything wrong with that? He literally preyed on you.
You have even claimed that being intimate with him is off-putting because he feels like a parental figure at most.
He is sour with your job because he cannot control you when you’re working, so he tries to make you feel bad and lose the joy in your job so you quit and he control you 100% of the time.
He wants to trap you with marriage and kids, wants to make you barefoot and pregnant so he can control every aspect of you.
Please.
Please.
RUUNNNN.
Thanks for the tip and I do do that on threads that are ages long. This is still short enough that it will show up when OP gets the alert for the comment I commented on. I just think it's easier to read like this because of context ??
A best man's panic attack is not a reason to postpone the wedding. You should be his priority, but apparently you aren't, you come second to his brother. That is not a relationship you want to build a future on.
I would contact his family, explain the costs involved, and the logistics of “postponing”.
I think your France's brother is trying to sabotage the wedding. I think your finace is in on it.
Who is picking up the costs? If his family are paying for everything, then tell him – sure let's postpone. Tell him since the honeymoon is booked, you are stressed, and since he obviously wants to be there for his brother, which you totally understand… you think it's best if you go on the honeymoon alone, just to distress.
If you have picked up costs (or your family) – then tell him sure you can postpone, you need the money reimbursed now though, since you have paid. Make sure you get the money. Then as above, you go on the honeymoon, he stays home.
If people travelled, ask if his family are paying those travel and hotel expenses.
Once you return from the honeymoon, and have your expenses refunded by him/his family. Then you dump him. Move on with your life, he's not the one for you.
I think it just comes down to your definition of cheating and your boundaries. Personally, “window shopping” as you put it, would be a deal-breaker for me.
Paying for sex and sexual content while in a monogamous relationship is generally frowned upon as porn is free.
I would just say you saw his flirting texts and you're not cool with it.
Hey there, I online in a pretty small town as well and the only things we have to do are things that need to be paid for. We do some free dates as well but find it difficult to plan/afford weekends away. We've been together just over a year and are planning our first trip away together (that isn't seeing family) because we're super stingy with money. If you're looking for a way to make things more affordable, I would look into travel credit cards. You can use the points to get flights for very reasonable prices. However, it is a bit unreasonable that the expectation exists at all and she doesn't seem to understand that you can't/don't want to pay for the whole thing. Even when I wasn't working, I always made an effort to split the bill with my bf. That's just what worked for us and what we communicated to each other. If your gf can't understand that going on unnecessary travel is hurting you financially, it's time for a serious talk with her. You're both adults and she's putting a very unfair expectation on you.
i agree with all your points except the “you can't ruin a romance that never existed”. what made you say that? people can and do have romantic relationships without any or little sexual aspects to it. i do really care for her and she does for me. the only problem i see is that neither of us is actually asexual so i think sex does play an important role in a relationship.
but saying that romance never existed when you don't really know anything else about our relationship is kinda an insult to me.
Haha, true. I see mormon kids walking around my part of the town here and there – aparently we savages are in need of having stuff explained to us. It didn't occur to me that selling religion could be considered counseling.
She a horrible person and doesn't give a crap how ya feel. Get ya lawyer keep the vid as and pics as evidence planr your great escape. Oh and.be sure to get ya Finacial in order since her name is on everything. She know that so she may use this to break you down. And if ya married your entitled to at least half if she is the bread winner hence get to lawyer fast and explain what happening. And prepare to to find either new place to online or face the bitter battle over property and so forth. Sad some do crap like this. No empathy some women are cold as hell. Don't mess with anyone until ya got lawyer and all ya ducks in a row before moving on. It won't look right.
OP making a pro and con list is autistic?
Honestly – I am truly sorry for how you've been treated by some commenters here. Genuinely. Please feel free to check out r/abusiverelationships, a support community for those in abusive relationships, or people who have left them.
You are not dumb, stupid, “enjoying being cheated on,” or anything else anyone has called you. You are human, experiencing normal feelings in an abnormal situation.
I am sorry that instead of receiving genuine compassion and resources, you've been namecalled and shamed. You deserve better from your partner, and you deserve better from this sub.
Will add the ex had the baby 7 months after we first did it.. refuses to do a dna and baby wasn’t premature so I’m certain it isn’t mine and I’ve told my recent partner about this but she is still hung up on it
Really spooky and even worse that Brazil has something similar and I didn't know
That's not how boundaries work AT ALL. That is, however, how abusive control works. Leave this pos, you can do better and it wouldn't be that difficult.
This is likely depression. Help him find a therapist he trusts. This probably doesn’t have anything to do with your relationship or your communication skills. It isn’t yours to fix. But you can be on his team, cheering him on.
You don’t say what your expectations are, but so long as they are reasonable and you are kind about them, you don’t have to let them go in order to help him get healthy. Don’t get into a pattern where he doesn’t get help and he also doesn’t contribute to the relationship. People have to take care of their own mental health to be fit for a relationship.
You're 30 years old. Come on.
Most sexually inclined people would be kissing much sooner than two months into dating. I think you need to do some soul-searching. Why did you feel uncomfortable? Was it him? The act itself? Do you feel any sexual attraction to him? To anyone? Are you sexually self-exploratory? Turning inward may help you figure out what to do next.