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Leave. This all abusive. He just wants a younger girl that will fall for this, because all the girls his age see these red flags. He will NOT change. Get out before the behavior escalates.
It's a naked one. You need to make him realize his bad choices are affecting more than just him. But in the end you can't make him quit, he has to want to. It sounds like right now you're half way to enabling him. It's hard but sometimes you have to cut people off because they bring more drama into your life than it's worth. You can always reevaluate things if he cleans up.
That the commentary (assuming he is telling the truth) came from immediate family means there could very well be an “Oh, shit, here we go again” type of defensiveness on their part if your humour reminds them of previous partners.
What orientation is your partner?
Find someone who actually respects you.
I think you should break up with him. If you had a daughter in this situation would you tell her to be with somone who can easily have sex with their ex while at the same time spending time with said ex?
It's up to you how you handle it, but I do think you know everything you need to know.
It's weird.
I met him when I was 20 about to turn 21
The person even asked me to not even flirt with people and wait for them.
This right here is what makes the “break” bullshit.
Your exGF wanted to sleep with someone else, so she asked for a break to cover her ass. If it were a REAL break, you BOTH would have been free to see others.
Personally, I would not want to be in a relationship with someone who thought this was appropriate behaviour.
I do think you are overreacting. It's perfectly fine that you asked him to buy you flowers. And it's fine for him to express his views that women should do similar things for men. You were both expressing what you would like in the relationship. Instead of get upset about it, you should be glad that the two of you can talk about your desires and needs, right?
And remember that actions speak louder than words – so let's see what each of you took from this conversation and who will back it up with action.
Iâm so confusedâŚ. Are you actually dating the man or are you his motherâs caretaker and house-sitter while paying HIM rent????
Heâs using you. ?
If heâs choosing to stop hanging out with them then so be it, he can make new friends. I wouldnât bother meeting them either, they donât sound like good people.
He's abusive. You to get your affairs in order. Are there any friends you can stay with? Contact an attorney.
He's abusive. You to get your affairs in order. Are there any friends you can stay with? Contact an attorney.
I was confused halfway down when she mentioned sleeping with him, because up until that point it didn't even sound like they were dating at all. So his mom doesn't want to move and he can't hire a 24/7 home health aid. So he sleeps with a coworker to get her to look after his mom. Also he has a house in the mountains and a helicopter. Op is this guy your boss?
I was confused halfway down when she mentioned sleeping with him, because up until that point it didn't even sound like they were dating at all. So his mom doesn't want to move and he can't hire a 24/7 home health aid. So he sleeps with a coworker to get her to look after his mom. Also he has a house in the mountains and a helicopter. Op is this guy your boss?
That's confirmation bias. Statistically, your chances of a lasting relationship are infinitesimally smaller if you rush into marriage.
I mean, there's not really anything you can do about his reaction. You've already had the surgery. He will either get used to it or he won't.
I would definitely say that he needs to stop making negative comments about it. If he really can't get over this, then he needs to be honest but kind and end the relationship. Otherwise, he needs to keep his mouth shut about your body unless he has something nice to say.
No, she ask to keep the house clean. Everything I do for example going to the toilet I check if its clean afterwards or not. Sometimes it happens that I left some hair on the toilet seat. She also does that and I dont mind at all.
Sometimes I leave empty packages in the kitchen or didnt put my plate in the dishwasher etc. She also does it and I clean it for her. Isnt this called being in a relationship? She could have said that I left sometime in the kitchen and then I would have cleaned it afterwards. When she leaves things dirty (which she does) I clean it up for her, It would never crossed my mind to yell at her and that im fed up being her mother and that im not her maid.
Well I can say what happened for her calling me a dirty dog.
I was complaing about our dog and said things like the dog is irritating me with his squicking in the morning etc (maybe I shouldnt have said it ).
Then she said why do you talk to our dog that way. Do you want me to begin about your father? (My father recently died of aggressive cancer and in a painfull way, my girlfriend hates my dad because he gets 'free' money from the government and her tax money is going to a person who doesnt want to work).
I was really upset about her comment regarding my father but needed to calm down and was quite. Then she said if I could come to bed and I declined and said im on my computer with a tone she didnt like. She asked if somethings wrong and I said no, I'm busy on the computer. Then she repeated the question and I said the same answer in the same tone. Then se became upset and screamed dirty dog at me.
This is what happened.
Break up with him. He doesn't want to marry you. Usually after a year of dating people know if they want to get married or not.
You wanted him in therapy and now youâre sabotaging it.
Perhaps you didnât really understand what it is and how itâs supposed to work, but demanding he tell you everything he talks about with her is, well, a form of emotional abuse, frankly.
Your irrational jealousy that he trusts a mental health professional whose job it is to provide a safe environment where people can open up is deeply concerning, and verging on unhinged behavior. Sheâs not your competition; she is his doctor.
He wonât do couples therapy, but are you in therapy? Because this whole relationship seems like a toxic nightmare from the moment it started, and you both seem pretty dysfunctional and unable to manage your emotions in a rational, mature, adult way.
Girl – Iâm on TikTok and I get served that bullshit all the time about âif heâs not ____ then he doesnât love youâ. Outside of the videos discussing mutual respect, love, communicating with your partner – the material stuff is BULLSHIT. Relationships are never 50/50, they just canât be. One person at various points will always be giving more or receiving more, or need more support than the other. Itâs important to not be completely abandoned or be with someone who falls into weaponized incompetence – but that doesnât seem to be the case in your relationship.
Yes – your partner should go out of their way to make you feel loved and cared for, and you should feel supported by them. BUT if your only metric is material goods and feeling like theyâre spending money on you – youâre in for a badddd time.
My boyfriend and I arenât really big gift people, but we show love my actions, planning date nights for each other, spending quality time. I also make more money than my boyfriend so I wouldnât ask him to spend money he may not have when I can buy things for myself and make myself happy. Iâm not even saying gifts canât be your love language – but holding someone to the impossible standard set by TikTok teenagers who have no idea what a real relationship looks like is a recipe for disaster.
You may be asking for too much financially, he might not be able to afford that dresses that you want. You are fine to ask I guess, but what, you want him to spend money he doesnât have just to make you feel better?
Youâre young and discovering what relationships are and can be – DO NOT LET TIKTOK DEFINE YOUR RELATIONSHIP.
did you read the post? what hes buying is not the issue.
Poor little man child got caught liking little baby media
You look like a joke by being 20 years old and still acting like you're 15 and vying for being part of the “popular kids” at school.
You look like a joke by being 20 years old and still acting like you're 15 and vying for being part of the “popular kids” at school.
….people are fucking exhausting
Girl, dont make your wedding dress from red flags. He sounds narcissistic. Let him go.
Okay? Sex isn't what I'm looking for tho?
He's obviously not going to leave me over just having a conversation. We've had naked conversations before that we dealt with as adults. If he would leave me over being open about my feelings and thoughts then why would I want to be with him? Idk what kinda relationship it is if you can't be honest with your partner and be open about doubts you've experienced in regards to your relationship. Sorry if you've experienced that
The cheating alone you shouldn't forgive. It sounds like she doesn't respect you at all
He does not sound like the guy for you. You're clear on what you want. That's so valuable! And guess what? That guy is out there. He is. And you could go meet him. If you didn't have this boyfriend who lives two hours away, and who you have to try to pull affection and attention out of. He's not wrong. But he's for someone else. So are you.
I forgot to mention she does provide the car I use to get to work and provides housing where rent only costs us 500$ a month. That is how she pulls her weight while studying for the MCAT to get better career aspects.
I was in OPs exact position. Loved the paintings and that I was gifted them. But she had a very specific style and they were all very similar.
I did just this. Had one spot for paintings on the wall and Iâd replace it and put the old one with my stack in the closet.
I also told her I preferred smaller ones âso I could keep more before running out of spaceâ.
If you continue this relationship with her you'll be a fool who deserves the bad times that will inevitably come.
He is limiting you so that he feels safe and comfortable. This is a problem and a trait of his that will not go away. It won't. I don't know what you're hoping for in terms of a long-term relationship with this guy? But you are in college right now and it's a unique great time to meet a lot of people and do things like go to parties and do service projects and bond with other women like you would have an opportunity to do in your sorority. You know what you want. He's going mope and pout and punish you for doing what you want. Do you really need to deal with that?
You are being a baby and need to work on your insecurities. The way you deal with it is by dealing with your insecurities.
If you talk to her about it. She may very well break up with you if she realizes how immature and insecure you are.
This has been my fear.
D. I. C. K. He was not joking. It takes a certain kind of a person to sit Nearby and listen to the person you love flailing and talking to the host of a restaurant confused. And enjoying it. He has a part of him that enjoys your pain. That will not change. That will become more prominent as you grow more in twined. Trust me. I am sorry for your trauma response. I am sorry that you've chosen someone who reinforces it. But you can unchoose him now. Please do.
It sounds like he is placing his frustrations about the situation on you. Which is bs. We all have our sensitive areas⌠you found his⌠unless he always puts the blame on you⌠in that case run.
Assuming it is this⌠see if you can compromise. âI will try hypnotherapy, if you and only if, you talk to your doctor and go to an appointment with a sleep specialist. We need to work together on this one.â
If he really canât get over his hang-upsâŚthen he is looking and willing to blame things on your. This wonât change.
So leave the relationship. It's not working, clearly.
Caller ID is a wonderful thing. Use it.
I'm pretty sure thats the case, I'll probably just try not to think about it.
Point number three is a big problem. Before you met her she was alive, correct? If you are worried she might not be after you leave her? That is dependency. Not love. Look. You love her. You are a good person. There are ways to stay patient and kind with someone suffering from a significant mental illness. Find out more about it. Attend her doctor appointments with her. If all treatment options have not been attempted? Make sure they are. but also? You are not married. You are young. You fell in love with a woman who is mentally ill. You may decide you want something different for your life partner. You are allowed to do that. Or not.
Honestly, why do you force yourself to tolerate this woman?
Honestly? I wish you would drop this entire project and find someone you could support and be supported by. Because this is not that. You do not have to care for him forever. He might need that? But it does not have to be you. You deserve so much. So very much. We all do. I want you to feel that.
It's hilarious how all the replies are “actually I am/know a woman who loves stuffed animals as gifts so that invalidates what you're saying!” while totally missing your larger point that people often receive gifts that they don't want and OP is probably not the only one in this situation receiving gifts they don't particularly care for. You'll notice women are more willing to perform gratitude for undesired gifts than men are though.
You block him, move away if you can and have nothing more to do with him.
Then its sounds like he has zero justification for his cruelty.
Unforgivable treatment imo. Id be off as soon as i was well enough.
If your long term health is poor you could do a lot worse than move to europe for work. Private healthcare is so much cheaper here. Apple stores usually include free healthcare for all staff so they are worth looking at.
33 is the magic number and the perfect age to travel or make a bold change in your life. ( your accent would sound cute to guys here). Whatever you decide Nurture & love yourself above ALL from now on because you can't rely on others to.
It sounds like he is keeping them around as a safety net or to keep his options open. Itâs highly unlikely he would admit that he is remaining in contact for this reason but there is no roger reason to remain friends with hookups otherwise. These women arenât lifelong friendsâŚthey are people he casually slept with. The fact that he is sharing relationship details and issues is downright disrespectful and is just inviting in temptation and trouble. Feeling sick, confused, betrayed, and hurt/angry are all very reasonable responses. Follow that gut instinct and break up with him. Seriously you deserve better.
I think you have been dumped.
You should assume youâre no longer in a relationship and block him and move on.
If he loved you heâd have contacted you by now.
The question is, why do you want someone like that in your life?
My best friend had a ex who threatened suicide and did reckless driving every time she wanted out or something did. get his way. Eventually both managed to move on without anything happening but with the next gf he did the same and then eventually killed himself. He always did the same with any girl until if eventually escalated to the point of no return.
This wasnât your fault. This was his choice.
It's none of those things. It's just an abbreviated name. I don't see the problem either apart from that my partner gets upset by it that is.
“Brad” is jealous of “Jake”.
You are not crazy. This is classic cheating behaviour. Dump him OP. Get yourself checked for STDS. Get a good divorce lawyer! Good luck.
His justification that he “doesn't want to make you angry” can (and likely will be) continously used to justify any kind of lie in the future.
He obviously does not care about your boundaries and does not wish to discuss or directly address your boundaries. At this point, his behavior will not change.
Just dump him , he has literally NOTHING to offer you. What are you even trying to fix here?
Best case he becomes a rude bum who doesn't pay his way but demands a little less sex.
Kick him out of your house get on a GOOD dating site and never let him back in. Anything short of an axe murderer will be an upgrade please move on.
Why did he even bother to come then..? Iâm sorry, Iâm not trying to be naive. I just donât understand.
I do think since he has the opportunity to hear info or details about the story/lies from another perspective this will help OP decide what he feels about fiancĂŠ and what she has told him.
It is not to gather facts. Because who would believe either of these scummy cheaters to be truthful?. It will help OP see the quality of people involved and convince him to remove all this scum from his future.
Absolutely thank you!
Iâm sure youâre doing the best you can. Good luck.
You break up. You don't have enough in common. Why are you cleaning his house? Seems weird. But OK. What you'd like to do all day and what he likes to do are very different. How's that gonna feel in 20 years? Break up.
Any outsiders perspective here?
Run! A guy at this age should know better and you at this age should also know better that he's not the last man on earth and you should not be his Mother. Please, RUN!
Thatâs definitely a dealbreaker. Hereâs the thing that separates Judaism from Christianity : itâs not just a belief system, itâs a culture. Pretty much every Jewish person Iâve met is either atheist or agnostic, yet they still follow Jewish culture. If your boyfriend canât separate the two then heâs an asshole, hands down. Find someone who shares your values or at least embraces them at part of you.
You were not wrong for having a conversation with someone else, and the fact that he's got you to the point where you think that is frightening. He's clearly already got you under his control.
He's a slob. Who the hell doesn't respect their partner enough not to shower before going to bed if you're sweaty? And then he wanted sex? Yeah that's a hell no on its own let alone the way he's treating you.
The fact is, he has no respect for you whatsoever. You are just his sex doll.
This! Also while youâre at it might as well try to squeeze as much $$$ as you can from him!
She is very mature in everything but i think in relationship not really
You should be bothered. He needs to cut ties with her. It would probably be a dealbreaker for me.
Well, itâs not cheating period. Thereâs no definition of cheating that includes âfollowing on social mediaâ. This seems more like an insecurity thing to me (44F). If it werenât, youâd not be stalking his socials to begin with.
I realize that for a lot of young people, social media is important and interpreted in different ways. This just seems like a silly hill to die on to me.
I donât know many men who donât consume porn or masturbate to images on-line.
If this girl is his âPartnerâ then Iâm the President of Reddit. Itâs not your arguments that are faulty. itâs your many assumptions.
Yes I do
She might have underlying trauma that makes her act this way. Even if there might be excuses as to why, it still doesn't justify how she makes you feel.
Value yourself, and also value her, by learning if this is something that can go forward together or separate.
I mean, my partner and I know each others passwords to access our phones, but we don't routinely look through each other phones…..
Even when she has my phone or I have hers to make a call or something, we don't like, pause to go through the phone. A relationship is supposed to have trust, if you're both into going through phones and asking to respect privacy etc then it's like you dont have that?
some people dont like their family for various reasons and wont have a 'family' meet up…You can meet them at various times and think they are 'good people' but his long term memories may be vastly different. Would you want your family to get involved in pedophelia, alchoholism, criminal acts, beatings and who knows what else? If you come from a 'good family' you cant even fathom the evil that goes on in others. You won't able to understand, cuz it didn't happen to you for years.
Help him with some therapy, cuz if things are bad, you dont have the capacity to help him through that…No way for me to know, all I have to go off of is a couple paragraphs. I am just spitballing, why someone wouldnt want a family get together…
Most people I know or read about that are a cis-het couple and have a mutually successful sex life, make sure that the woman orgasms (at least once) before the man does. I had had relationships like the one you describe, and when I met my husband, I knew I wanted a life with him and I knew that if I didnât come out of the gates expecting an orgasm it would be very naked to fix. In one of the first dozen times we had sex, my then bf finished and was, well, finished. I just kept being all over him and he said, he was done and I acted like I had no idea what he was talking about and was like, âwell, after Iâm done maybe we can get some lunch.â And Iâve never gone without orgasms since. It took all I had because I was raised to be a pushover. But I wanted this man long term and I didnât want to resent him.
this is not something like asking your partner to put the dishes away and they wouldnt do it after mentioning it repeatedly over years ( which is already disrespectful though) this is about sharing your body and opening up that vulnerable part of yourself to connect with a partner, something most people consider essential in a relationship. Either way, but especially as a woman, if you feel used afterwards it makes you question the way your partner values you on a whole, making you feel insecure and objectified by the person you want most to appreciate you for more than only your body.
you deserve better than this. you owe yourself better than this
LADIES: STOP REWARDING THIS KIND OF BEHAVIOUR BY DATING IT.
Never said atheism was a religion, I said believing there isnât a god is a belief system. If you only believe things that are verifiable scientifically and factually correct, itâs still a belief system, Iâm not judging on the validity or legitimacy of one over the other or anything, but just saying thatâs just a fact.
How exhausting, and at his big age? He even knows that he goes for younger types, then tags them as crazy because heâs a massive emotional game-player and they canât deal with it. He has now found an actual emotionally intelligent adult who wonât put up with his utterly childish shite. You sound far more emotionally mature than him and I donât know why youâd put up with any more of this nonsense.
Iâd have been done with him the second time he planned to see me, then blew me off and then backtracked and said âuh yeah, right, you can come over and see me sulk thoughâŚâ (fuck, no) Treating me like a yo-yo?! What a turn-off. 9 months is a good trial run and this the best behaviour! Good luck, heâd be in the bin.
Iâm surprised I had to scroll this far down to see this comment lol. People on Reddit are weirdos.
You sound like all my friends and family âšď¸
Good point! It seems like heâs totally fine with me posting. He just doesnât do it the other way around.
Thank you everyone for your answers. I do recognize toxicity when i see it. But you know heart makes us blind. I wanted him to be the one. It sounds like short relationship but i put all my efforts/hopes on it. It was sincere, serious and went through a lot. Thank you again. Breaking up was the right hardest decision. He respected it and we agreed on not being what we searching for. Its the after shock devastation.
Just ask him out
To be brutally honest at your respective ages that age gap is a significant one and she should be contemplating being in a long distance thing with someone almost 10 years older than her at her age. You need to give her space and if she ghosts then she ghosts. She's still a teenager after all and you're almost 30.
Jfk.. how are you not seeing the parade of red flags here? Girl run.
What to do if it doesnt work – consider how to break the lease, the costs, who would stay, who would go? Roommates to repalce one of you? How do you split assets? Consider common law arrangements too – after a certain period you could be in line to have property rights similar to a married couple if cohabiting for a couple of years.
How to pay the bills. Is this a straight 50/50 split or based more on a proportional basis based on incomes? Ie. if you make 20% more do you pay 20% more? If so, why? If not, why not? How might this change in the future.
Chores. 50/50? Rotating roster? Or negotiate – I did the toilet and bathroom this week so you can do the car washing and the laundry? Or something else? What day should chores be completed? Dishwashing – does it have to be done the same evening or is it okay to leave pots in the sink and on the bench?
General tidyness. Can a coat be left lying on the back of a chair over night? How often to vaccuum?
What happens if one of you gets pregnant? Working while pregnant? Do you want children? Rough timeframes? Do you share roughly the same goals in life? What are your goals and how do you get there?
How do you feel about him going out with friends and leaving you at home, and vice versa.
Thats a few things off the top of my head.
Thereâs a reason why heâs not dating people his own age
Hobbies, interests all of that yes, friends from his life like high school, college etc , family time of course. New girl friends, thatâs where I draw the line. I also had a male bestfriend; and as soon as I got a bf I drew the line bc itâs disrespectful
That makes sense – you have history. I would tell her that you are needing transparency or you will need to change your situation because it's lonely and frustrating and sad. And it's ok if she wants to continue the way she is, but that's not what you need out of a relationship. Sorry you're going through this, OP. That's crappy đ
She needs a second opinion and then a third if necessary. Womenâs vaginal pain is often dismissed (even by professionals) and if you want to improve your sex life then she needs to start addressing the medical issue.
Itâs completely understandable that your wife doesnât want sex that hurts her, and whilst youâre not wrong for wanting intimacy I think you need to be looking at this as a medical issue.
Run, don't walk. This is a 29 year old child. I wouldn't tolerate that for a second.
Then back off and wait for her to come to you.
I'm starting to see why they feel the way they do about you.
In these posts and responses, you've more or less asked us all to take it on faith that you're blameless here and you were hard-done-by.
That probably has SOME truth to it. But it's not the whole truth, and it's getting clearer by the post that you're not capable of seeing this from anybody's perspective but your own.
People don't want to deal with that. It doesn't matter how often you cook or clean for somebody or how many gifts you give them, they aren't going to want to hang out with that once they figure out that the only perspective you can actually see is your own.
Its not about whether she updates me or not. It's about the fact that she said “we'll only stay in this restaurant and I'll go home right after” and it didn't happen. just like the other guy that comment here about the “trustworthiness” . that's where I'm getting at.
It wasn't damming… It was before they were dating
I was so proud to have
Ew, she's not your possession.
Iâm having to be punished and having to console her something thatâs her fault and ultimately is offensive to me
Oh, absolutely fuck off you self centered prick.
I will not be subjected to this disrespect all my life
Fuck yourself sideways for that, you shallow arrogant douchebag.
She could be 18 stone as long as it was sat in the right places
Oh, how fucking magnanimous of you.
Iâm not enough to care about keeping
You're not. Your a shallow, vapid, judgmental, self centred arrogant douche who should be permanently single for the good of womankind.
Itâs never a good idea to be friends with someone you have strong feelings for
Hanging there. If you feel you need some therapy get some, and being in the wrong relationship at a time like this is not helpful. I hope you have lots of good family and friends around you. And here's to an update in a couple of months or when you feel like it to say that things are looking better for you. I think we're all rooting for you.
Pretty soon sheâs gonna continue the trickle truth and you find out heâs her current hubby with 3 kids and youâre the side guy.
No drinking with him. If she needs to explain to him, she can do it over a phone call.
Once a week is way too much. Once a month maybe If he wants to see them he can go to THEM.
As someone in their early 20âs, most guys I met and dated before meeting my boyfriend were interested in serious relationships. And they didnât have the baggage of a kid and a divorce. And there were looking to build a life and a family. Hell, I met my boyfriend of 3 years on tinder and we on-line together and are building a life together with the end goal of marriage and kids.
The old skull thing, is suggested to be a childhood trauma response, Like hyper independence in childhood, having to take care of others or even your parents, instead of them taking care of you as a child.
Also he might be filling a male figure you never had but yarn for. Your age gap is huge. Butt you already know. Just imagine how he would be when you're in your 30s or 40s or 50s..and him in his 50s,60s,70s.. do you really want a life like that? You cannot fight mother nature. It's gonna be tough for you.
So she broke your heart, went to bang other people and after that wants you back and somehow you're the one who needs to earn her trust back?
Of course you're scared and worried she'll leave you again. I don't think that wound had healed when you got back together and I don't think it will be easy for you to heal while dating her. How can you trust her to commit to you? How can you be sure no other friend of her will “manipulate” her into breaking up with you (pretty convenient to have a friend to blame in this scenario, I'd say)? Or maybe she wants to dump you to go through another “party girl” phase but it's ok because you'll be there for her after that phase is over, right?
I agree with your strategy to step back and basically give her room to hang herself.
Dating is a test.
I suggest you be very specific as to what you need from her with respect to the coworker :
zero non business contact (no coffee, no lunch, no catching up while in a group) full transparency regarding any attempted contact, including business block him everywhere
The above is a consequence of her lies and intentionally involving him in your relationship. This is her chance to rebuild trust.
Trust but confirm. If they resume contact (even sporadically), you will eventually find out.
This is facts I havenât had sex in close to a year and I feel like I would bust in two secs if given the opportunity.
Give her as mich time as she needs. She'll tell you when she's ready. If she doesn't, it probably might be best to move on without her.
You are correct. I have made a choice and I came to ask how to go about it in a polite way. I'm not crazy. I'm no a stalker. I am a guy that had a genuine, intense relationship with a girl. It was mutual. Sure it was brief but a lot happened in that time.
I let my own crap get in the way to affect us. I didn't explain myself like I intended too.
Yeah? You know what? I enjoyed her company in those two months more than any relationship I have ever been in.
So he's maybe I feel reaching out is worth a shot.
I appreciate your honesty but there is being critical and there's being judgemental.
I understand I worded some of my comments poorly last night… I was half asleep.
Thatâs exactly how I feel! I tried explaining that to him but he just says âI know how it looks but I promise nothing is going onâ. Which is what someone would say when theyâve done something! I just feel like I gave him so many chances to be honest and open with me and he didnt admit to anything until I found out about it and brought it up to him. I think weâre going to have to do some sort of couples therapy
Because why would she agree to give him a ride back alone without talking to me about it
Why are you making such a huge deal out of this? Have you got trust issues? So she agreed to give them a ride…. so she forgot to give you heads up…. it happens
She left the funeral but my nephew came up to me and asked if she left? I said yeah
Did she leave because you started making a scene at the funeral? Or why did she leave without your nephew?
This don't sound good. You should really consider if this question was only a soundboard, as it seems you knew the right answer all along. Am I right?
Maybe if she's jealous of a fictional character, she's not ready to be dating and it's not your job to make her understand anything.
You canât solve this issue. She has shown you in many different ways that she will eventually stray if you canât satisfy her sexually. Neither of you are getting what you need in this relationship.
May the Force be with youâŚ
Be weary of guys who insist on putting their name on you. I wonder what other traditions heâs going to insist on
You can ask him but… if he ghosted you? You'll probably have to come to terms with not knowing. You gave him energy because he was “cute, intelligent, well paid” – IE: He was swimming in options.
“So he was like a safe option” No… he was a bad bet because someone with those credentials is going to be swimming with tons of his own options.
You want a safer option? Find someone who's a little less attractive but is intelligent and well paid.
It really hurts i don't know why. I think it is beacuse i have never put myself in a situation where i got rejected and since it is the first time this happened i don't know how to handle that. But now i can't stop thinking about him and it is really embarrassing .
Now take a look back at your previous paragraphs about all the guys you've ghosted. Put yourself in their shoes. how you think they felt when you stopped talking to them? You started like him and a he ghosted you… just like you felt a lot of guys started like you and… you ghosted them.
No offense but… this feels like a healthy dose of karma for my perspective.
My opinion? Stop ghosting guys as you now know what it feels like to get ghosted by someone you've gotten a crush on. Use this as a learning experience. Grow up. Put yourself out there and actually take a chance on meeting people who aren't safe bets because the safe bet you was looking into? Not a safe bet apparently.
Yes. She asks him for rides to training (hour away)
She needed this advice before the first surgery