I (46M) told my first Biological Offspring (26M) “That I have 2 sons and he’s not either of them.” Now my sister (38F) is begging me to talk to him.

When I (46m) was 20 I got my GF at the time pregnant. I was scared shitless but I manned up and married her. It was hot but we made it work for 8 years until I caught her cheating. I ended the marriage, and began co-parenting my, at the time, son. He was my world. My dad wasn't there for me at all so I swore to myself I would be the best father I could. I had my then son every weekend. I was always on time and ready to go. Even though I worked full time and was going to school I made sure he always had my full attention when he was with me. He was my best friend and my son. Even though money was tight we had some amazing adventures. He loved spending time with my family, and even had friends in my neighborhood. I thought we were doing well, until he was around 11.

At that point he started to not want to visit me. His mother had a new boyfriend who was well off, and I knew he was taking them on trips and doing fun activities on the weekends so, at first, I didn't make a stink, but about 6 months after they started dating, my son was seeing me maybe one weekend a month. After about 9 months he stopped coming all together. After 3 months of calling, chasing, and begging, I was getting no where. So my family came together and hired a lawyer to sue my ex for parental alienation. I lost, and was ordered to pay more child support. As I was leaving the courtroom, my ex's lawyer approached me and offered to cancel child support if I gave up my paternal rights. I flat refused until the lawyer said this was both my ex wife's and my then son's wishes. I asked to speak to my son alone and they agreed as long as both lawyers were in the room. I spoke to my son and asked him if he really wanted me to give up my rights and he said "yeah." I explained that it would mean I wouldn't be his dad and he couldn't come visit me or my family anymore. He looked me dead in the eyes, like he was asking the time, and said, "yeah, so?" I was shattered. I asked again, if he really understood what he was saying, and he said yes, he wanted to be ex's boyfriends son. I signed the papers that day. From that day until 2 days ago he never spoke or contacted me, or any of my family.

It literally almost killed me. I started to drink, and stayed drunk for weeks. Finally, one day, I drank until I passed out and aspirated my own vomit. I would be dead now except the mail man dropped a package addressed to me to my neighbors house and she saw me convulsing through my window, and called 911. I spent 2 weeks in the hospital with aspiration pneumonia. After that I moved back to my hometown, got a new job, hit the gym, and spent 4 years in intense psycho therapy. I was finally able to let it all go, and move on with my life. About 6 years after my move I met my now wife, and she had an 11 y/o son. I was stand offish with him at first, but that kid was (and is) so amazing that I couldn't help but fall in love with him. The day he turned 18 he asked me to adopt him (his father left when he was 5, never to be seen or heard of again). It was the proudest day of my life. He and his mother turned my life around and gave me a reason for living. Now not only do I have my wonderful adopted son(19) who is currently serving in the Marines, but I also have a son (4y) and daughter (18m). My career has also taken off, and I'm doing very well for myself and my family. I am a comeback story. I went from a man no one could love, to a successful father of 3 with a beautiful wife and family. I survived.

About 3 weeks ago I get a call at my office. It was my exSIL she informed me that my ex had passed. I simply said, "okay" and hung up. It's been 14 years since I've had any contact with any of those people, and I have no desire to know anything about them now. On the 4th my family and I were getting ready to go to a picnic when there was a knock on the door. I recognized him through the front glass. It was my first biological offspring. I opened the door and he said, "Hello <OP>, I'm <name>, I'm your son." Without an ounce of hesitation I said, "No your not. I have two sons and your not either one of them. Now please leave my property." He just stood there kind of dumbfounded as I shut the door. After a moment he left.

I put out a text to my family letting them know that he was lurking around, and I have no intention of having any contact with him, and I will cut anyone who does out of my life completely. It's been 14 years. I don't owe him or his family anything. I had to listen to my mother cry for him on her death bed over that child. I laid in a hospital bed with a machine breathing for me, wishing it would turn off and let me die because of that child. I learned in therapy that he had the right to make his own choices, but that I also have the right to make mine. My choice was to move one without him as part of my family, as he wanted. He has no right to come back into my life and disturb me or my family now.

My entire family agrees with me. Even my wife and my in-laws agree that nothing good can come of this. He's 26 years old now. If this was some evil plot by his mother and her BF, he's had 8 years to contact me, and didn't. Now that his mother is dead all the sudden I'm up to bat? I don't care if he was 12 or 200, he made the call, and if you had seen the look in his eyes when he said "yeah, so?" you would have known like I did that he didn't give a damn about me. So I had to stop giving a damn about him to survive. He doesn't have the right to ambush me on my front porch and act like he's anything to me now.

Well come to find out my sister is the one who has been giving him and my xsil my contact info. My sister (who I love dearly) is inconsolable that I wont give him a chance. Apparently he called her after he came to my house and broke down. I told her to stop right there, I don't care, but now she's begging me, for our mothers sake, to meet with this kid. So I ask you, is there anything good that can come out of a meeting with this kid now?