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Shouldn't I know about this before I got married? You dont think shes wrong at all for not mentioning that she fucked my best friend in highschool when we have been on and off since middle school. I dont see her the same
You're acting like either of them lied to you or in some way betrayed your trust. This is not the case. They don't owe you every detail of their sexual history. When you asked, you got honesty. If anything, this shows they are acting in good faith. Your emotional response is on you you work through, not them. You weren't even dating her when they got together. She didn't owe you exclusivity. Honestly, your immaturity is showing.
He’s escalating. Waking up to being verbally attacked is frightening. What are you waiting for? To be woken up being physically attacked?
He needs help BUT you need to be out of there while he gets it. You are in a very dangerous situation here. Do you have any family support ?
She already cheated , felt bad (after the fact), and called you names and then put him on the phone to get you to do “poly” ,so she wouldn't be a cheater! And now you get the story after they figured it out, hence her ending contact to prove her point! But hey, believe her if you will. I won't
?
How long will the engagement last? A year, two? Or just a few weeks? I didn't know my husband that long when we got engaged but our engagement lasted two years. My parents met. 2 weeks later she moved with him to a different state. Married 6 months later. They were married for 45 years until my dad passed. You never know and it depends on the individuals.
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Will do, thanks for not being condescending
Nah her friend chose that
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I actually like them for the most part. They're not bad people when we see them every month or so they're just overbearing. I know for a fact I never want to on-line with them though. It is a dealbreaker for me and I told her that and we just had a big fight with no conclusion. I just dont know at what point do I stop trying to change her mind and just accept that the relationship is now incompatible. It really sucks
I don't believe there is anything you can do to “help” him. It seems odd to me that he should be bothered by something that happened before you met him. I think what you need to do is put that topic off limits. It is in your past & has nothing to do with the here and now. He needs to get that through his thick skull or you will be hearing about it for the next 50 years anytime something else comes up that bothers him. You don't want to on-line with that.
Bottom line is he needs to drop it or leave. Because anything else does not work for a long term relationship.
Okay, I can see this from both sides. Do you see her every time you are home? Even for a little bit? I get seeing your friends, and you absolutely should! However, I can also see how she feels like you are not prioritizing her. It all depends on whether or not you ALSO see her when you are home.
He would be dead to me if I were you. No real friend would do this.
Yeah and let's not forget she was 19 and he was 22. That's a lot of years of learning you do between 18-25. Your brain isn't even full grown your impulse centers are driving lol. To make a foolish mistake early on between two guys you're seeing is pretty common a mistake for a young dumb teenager to make. If she's really been faithful 6 years since, what a waste of everyone's time.
Definitely best they split though. Resentment like this corrodes. She was right to confess before marriage or a proposal with an expensive ring and he's right to move on if his reaction was immediately to discuss a break up. Go with your gut and all that.
When I was in OP’s sorta situation, same age accidental pregnancy, but did not realistically feel the bf was my forever partner. We were friends who probably should have stayed friends but were a couple for a couple years. That made it decision way easier, and I booked 6 am of the absolute earliest day I could book based on my cycle dates (6w 0d LMP). I met my husband a couple years later, and we waited to late 20s to start, but if I’d got pregnant sooner, I would have probably found a way to make it work. I think that’s why I was vigilant about BC!
There is a reason he is 40 and unmarried lol.. girl he sounds immature as hell.. if he can't be responsible for his share of money/bills/things and runs away from being an adult each and EVERY TIME …then he has shown you who he REALLY is…believe him. The real question is are you gonna stick around and put up with it for the rest of your life? If I were you…I wouldn't. ???
Don’t do anything. If they want to mend the relationship they will want to come and meet their grandchild. There is not much you can do.
I want to break down this comment to demonstrate what I am getting at:
I told her I wanted to grab a taco No, we're trying to save money. Why are you being so mean?
Here, it sounds like there was a previous discussion that money needs to be saved. Something both of you are working towards.
You're aware of this goal, and fell into temptation to break it.
Now, there is a time and place for everything.
Would this be a good time to 'crack a joke'… or would it be more appropriate to say something like:
You know what? You're right. We have food at home, lets go there.
Obviously her reaction is on the extreme end, however the events leading up to it are just as important to curve.
Is saving money a serious thing? Yes.
So, it might have been better to withhold a sarcastic joke due to the nature of the topic. And treat saving money, the same as her. Responsible and dedicated.
This was a micro interaction in your relationship.
And if you have these in high frequency all over the place, you may arrive at:
Her reply is that she just doesn't want to deal with this bullshit anymore.
The above is one of many possibilities how you two arrived at this point.
And I am not defending your wife here.
I think she is impulsive, abusive, and needs a ton of work herself.
But if the chemistry between you two is not in sync, this will be near impossible to fix. At that point, it would be better to end it, then to have a marriage where these explosions are a daily thing.
Babe? Stop having sex or performing sex acts that you don’t want. More therapy and a better boyfriend—that’s what you need.
You might love him but do you like him? It sounds like he disrespects and mistreats you often but knows that you will stick around. That must not feel good. Buying you things, attending family events is not what makes up love, without friendship, trust, respect, communication, etc. Have you thought about therapy?
They’re a fan of incest, and that was fanfic at its finest.
Wow he sounds like a real catch. Take the dog and leave the manchild.
Obviously you are to old for him.
It is NOT a false equivalency, as long as you can credibly claim your friendship with this hypothetical woman was platonic. She’s pulling the notorious “Being bi makes me a special snowflake who gets extra privileges” card.
I suspect she would flip out even more if you shared a bed with one of your guy friends. Especially if either or both of you were bi.
He even told me, “I’ve cheated on multiple exes and been in longer relationships with them and none of them are as obsessive like you”.
What an immature flex! Are you sure you want to continue to be with someone that even has to say this? Stop getting disrespected and dump him! There is no reason for him to still be in contact with any of those girls.
She's saying bye bye to this relationship because this dude will most definitely have a hard time not connecting with his ex on a more than a month long trip alone… visiting really great places.
They are defs gonna bond and have a really fun time. Alone..
You are not stuck with him. F that dude. Pull the ejection seat lever forthwith.
“Don't buy me a blue towel.”
“What color total do you want?”
“Don't worry about it.”
Dude's a douche, you see that, right?
I shall run. I already blocked him. Just wanted a second opinion
IT WASN’T A DATE. READ MY POST AGAIN.