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Wow this is so disgusting and disturbing. The uncle is likely to contact the son even though he has been told to stay away. It is a good idea to monitor everything very closely.
yeah well I'm disagreeing on a thread where everyone's going ballistic. I honestly don't care about being downvoted (I usually laugh, cos I've always had extremist views compared to the mainstream or hive mind). It's just upsetting for OP if she sees that one of the few people defending her is getting downvoted.
It's a very good illustration of just how hard it is to navigate a steady course when you've just suffered something horrendous. People climb on their hobby horse and you must not disappoint them. No matter that it'll mean having to go over what happened again and again with countless police officers, lawyers and maybe even reporters if the press get on to the case, that each time you feel the same pain…
Thank you for the movie rec no I haven’t seen that! Yeah, of course on the forefront, it’s about justice, but I’d be lying to myself if I didn’t say vengeance was part of the reason. It’s hard to deal with those feelings of anger
What’s your honest reason?
You have a lot to learn
Thanks for the kind words fellow redditor
Surely you mean the OP? I didn’t do anything
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girl i thought you cheated. you do have low self esteem and it’s showing by how you allow this scum to treat you. set some boundaries and fight back, if you gotta cheat to get out then do it
Never think that way about yourself. These kind of guys prey on insecurity. This internet stranger thinks you deserve MUCH better than that.
I think you should consider seeing a therapist.
Brother, you got a lot to learn, Here is a great early learning experience. From the sounds of what she's saying theres one of two things. 1 she enjoys a little bit toxicity in her life. There's a handful of women out there that love the drama life, so you could have been too nice of a guy for her thrill levels. This doesn't mean you need to be a dick or change anything about yourself-please don't. Or 2 her last relationship was super toxic and she's just legitimately not ready for a relationship.
Alot of women are masters of friendly conversation, so you may be feeling spark while texting/messaging because she wanting it to work. but the weirdness you guys felt on the first date should've been the first flag, when you go on a date with the right person everything feels really relaxed.
Now theres also a 3rd possibility Mr toxic came back into her life and they are getting back together
Now the real negative you shouldn't of look for her on another platform. When a woman makes a firm stance she doesn't want anymore contact with you out of any condition, You need to leave her alone (unless it's like your wife/fiancée suddenly ghosted you lol)
But otherwise don't over think short term relationships such as this- also get off tinder- we only used that for hook ups in my day lol.
Situational awareness is an amazing thing.
I really don't have time to socialize since I am taking care of 2 kids. That's why I downloaded tinder, I told my partner about this as well. He and I met on tinder. And I was open about everything. He didn't seem to have a problem with it and even encouraged me to make friends.
I asked him if he was OK with it, he said yes. That's why I am confused.
Personally idk if I would be okay with it, but at least I would be honest about it.. am I being too naive? I genuinely would like to hear your opinion.
You don’t have to speed up your healing for anyone, and your healing does not have to involve having sex with him or taking him back/forgiving him.
Or just get liquid with no nicotine in it at first. The hardest part about quitting, apart from the craving, is the habit of sucking on something. As most of us were breastfed as a baby (sounds dumb but it's true), it has a calming effect even stronger than the nicotine itself. Seeing as he says he needs a hit after work it suggests it's his way of dealing with stress. Trying to quit that is even harder.
You really need to communicate better with eachother and find alternatives for the oral fixation as well. It will be much easier to quit then and also don't beat eachother up every time someone slips up or makes a mistake. Yes, you're in a relationship, but you're also human and noone is perfect.
You dropped a bomb on her current relationship. You had no place to do this if she isn’t cheating on him.
Let the POS leave and change the locks.
He doesn't respect you or your body. No means fucking no. He's a whole ass red flag.
Can you not just stay at your moms and not go back until you’ve dealt with lawyers?
Does she have HSV-1 or HsV-2? One is oral and the other is genitalia.
Unfortunately you’ve discovered that going legit after adultery rarely works. The relationship originated in lies and has a shaky foundation. Too late you have discovered that the grass is greener where it is watered.
The engagement is a dead relationship walking. The growing conflicts are predictable as living in the relationship just reminds you of the decisions you made to destroy your marriage.
So yes, break up and focus on your own growth. Work with your counselor (are you getting one?) on whatever hole you were trying to fill. Learn to be ok on your own for a while. And then re-enter the dating world looking for an honest relationship.
It's not that without this one friendship I will collapse… It's just that I've been taking blow after blow right to my face in my personal life (other aspects completely unrelated to this friendship).
What's to say? You can mod your body how you like and he can mod his body how he likes.
It looks like he was holding back because of your preferences. You stopped doing the same. Now he's getting the tattoo. Seems like this was easily foreseeable because he literally said he was going to do this.
It's still good to help people grow and call them out on their actions, especially if you know they're lacking certain qualities and need your support “princess”
It “only” took 14 months.
Jebus, is that really a relatively quick timeframe for PCOS?
I have told him I'm worried about why he's being distant and if I've done anything to upset him. He just tells me he loves me calls me cute and that's the end of the conversation. If I try to push he says there's nothing for him to say because everything is fine. I'm worried about him and about our relationship, but more specifically him.
Lawyer.
The split/sale/buyout needs to be done through a lawyer.
You need to be doing exactly what she is.
You kinda brought this on yourself, as what did you actually expect when you end a relationship because you don’t see a future, and the other person wants to try to work things out.
Yes it’s your decision, and is probably the right one to make, but expecting them to be nice and polite with you afterwards is fucking stupid.
And if she lowballs you, don’t forget that once she has tallied up and tabled an offer, you can say to her, that you will take her offer as what she is willing to accept to buy her out.
When a person “has” you, and stops putting in effort to “keep” you, that’s a sign it’s time to leave.
It may seem silly to “throw away” 7 years over this, but like you said, you would never date someone who didn’t brush before bed. So why would you stay with someone who bait n switched you?
If you did start the process of leaving, looked for a new place, started packing, what would she do? Let you go? Or brush her teeth?
Do you really want someone who cares so little for you, that they value the freedom to be gross over keeping your companionship?
By breaking up? Continually giving you the silent treatment is a childish, immature, manipulative way to make you 'the bad guy'. If you just gave her everything she wanted and did whatever she told you to do, then she wouldn't have to punish you with the silent treatment, now would she? /s
The best way for two adults in an adult relationship to resolve issues is to communicate. You could use some help with yours, but dude, she's using her 'method' as a weapon. Hard pass.
You’re really here posting about some weird girl you just met? She sounds mental
Only looking for advice from people that have been in a similar situation as stated above. Thank you
I know she seems like buttercups and roses towards you, but she’s The type of person who emotionally cheating on her boyfriend
My boyfriend was manipulative too but I never chose to emotionally cheat on him.
Beware she might cheat on you.
Most people have not been through what you have. Stop pushing your past experiences and your boundaries onto others. What works for you doesn’t work for most
Just break up so this thread make more coherent sense
These excuses are so worthless. The man you think you know is a fiction, you described yourself as so dependant on him that tiny little kernels of his love “his eyes lit up and he said he would do anything to stay with me” this is what keeps you going.
This is desperation not love. Anytime this man shows you slight affection, even the saddest form which is his not wanting to deal with the consequences of cheating you hold a parade for it and cling even harder to an untruthful relationship where the person is sociopathically lying to you daily, and has been since the beginning.
You're the problem if you're justifying this man's cheating just because you're afraid to move on. You're afraid you don't know what you look like without this shit relationship.
You realise he holds his true self for someone else? His true intimacy for his side piece? You're not his emotional partner, you're the one that fulfills all those other practical things for him. Why would you defend him this hard? I'm not judging him by his cover I'm judging him by his actions. The man he is, it's disloyal, manipulative, treacherous, he made his cheating about you feeling sorry for him. The sux, you're delusional for defending it and wanting even more
So glad to see your update. It does sound like he extended the invite “knowing” you'd say no to going.
Be strong, you've got this. And you deserve better, you're important too and you deserve to have someone reciprocate the effort you put into them.
Yes
Do you know if they are texting ?
That stuck out to me. If I were describing my husband to people it would never occur to me to call him “loyal.” Maybe OP has been cheated on in the past, or maybe she knows he’s sus.