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Your independence has zero value to a marriage.
Have you considered it adds value to her happiness and wellbeing? Which is pretty important in being a functional and pleasant parent.
I understand how serious this is so what your saying is very factual but is it practical given the OPs post. It's entirely possible this man loves her but did something very stupid. If she feels like he did this out of malice then I would agree to push it to the farthest extent of the law. This particular case sounds like he just screwed up in my opinion. Sounds like she loves him very much and it sounds like he had remorse. This is the problem with Reddit everything isn't cut and dry. OP said he was perfect in every way but he did something terrible. She will have to be the judge if it was a horrible mistake by someone who cares about her or if it was an evil plot by someone who tricked her.
Of course. I’ve always been aware of him not wanting something serious with me so it doesn’t bother me as much as before but I do wonder if there was a moment where he was interested romantically
Of course. I’ve always been aware of him not wanting something serious with me so it doesn’t bother me as much as before but I do wonder if there was a moment where he was interested romantically
It really is
I’ve been in a bad relationship like this, and thought this way. What my therapist told me was the work needs to be done on my end. I also didn’t feel as mad as the situations I was out in warranted. That’s a red flag. For yourself. Look up trauma bonding. This isn’t love. It’s not even close. Figure out why you think this is worth pursuing after all of the hardship. Why being with a lying cheater in ignorance would feel better than leaving. It’ll be painful. Very. But you will get through it. And you will come out the otherwise. You just can’t see it now. Don’t waste your life. I’ll tell you people like him don’t get better. And why would they? People like you and me are always there to work it out and minimize the major issues that are right in our face. He told you who he was, so believe him.
You're contradicting yourself. If she has male friends, she's going to have emotional intimacy, or they aren't friends, they're friendly acquaintances.
Make up your mind.
He's a coercive shitbag if he thinks he can bully you into something sexual you don't want to do
You string one person along till you find someone else.
Just FYI it is exponentially more difficult to have another child so quickly.
Quickly? Her child is almost 2y old…
If that's not the biggest most obvious sign your body is physically rejecting his presence, I really don't know what else it would take.
If you can rule out allergies, inner ear problems, reaction to something you ate… then yeah, listen to your gut. Literally.
Dignity is overrated.
Just do whatever she says, and wait as long as she requires. Everything will work out fine.
How does one keep a secret by telling their SO about it?
Here’s an idea, if a woman is totally unenthusiastic about having sex… don’t have sex with her. It boggles my mind that the gf is clearly not into sex and he just keeps doing ot anyhow.
You mentioned that this relationship has been one of the hardest challenges. That should tell you all you need to know. A good relationship doesn’t feel like a very hot challenge. Yes it is not all perfect not by a long shot but you shouldn’t feel like you are struggling to make it work.
Cut your losses end it. Just for the stuff I wrote above. And when you add into it the cheating and the lying to your face, it should be absolutely clear that she doesn’t respect you or your relationship. Find someone better who respects you
And also has sex outside of marriage lol
So you plan to break up because of something you think might happen?
That makes no sense.
I (44F) have traveled solo for many years. I’ve yet to trip and fall on a dick.
Why would you break up for this?
During ur relationship with ur wife, u have showed many signs that shes allowed to control you around. No one should be telling u that u cant call ur mom past 9pm or whatever. You gave her the confidence to think she can behave this way. U can try as much as u want to access to option 2) but why would she listen? She always gets what she wants so why would she try to compromise with you?
Change ur tone, get serious and tell her that shes being too controlling and that she better stop looking into your business. A marriage doesnt mean you become one entity. Especially, since shes only being controlling, she thinks your the extension of herself.
Do it anonymously by letter. Deliver it at her work if you can find that
Do it anonymously by letter. Deliver it at her work if you can find that
I'm so sorry for your awful position. But there is absolutely nothing to be gained by confronting your ex-fiance at the moment.
Just ignore him. Concentrate on your mother and yourself until you feel able to tell him to fuck off.
Op if he is willing to make out with someone in a relationship then I feel he will have no problem doing the same. You’re not jealous you have a gut feeling and my advice would be to trust that.