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Why are you asking someone else what would make it worthwhile?! Ask yourself that.
I used to work for a company which did the hotel thing for the holiday party. One year, we had this huge sales number we hit, and it was two parties and two nights at the hotel. It's a convenience, a safety precaution and a bonding experience for people who have a company which pushes these lavish types of events as rewards. I had a spouse who didn't like parties, and so he either didn't go, or he went and stayed in the hotel room and waited for me to come back, but it never came up as a concern. People who have never had a company do this don't really have a feel for what it is, which is why I think I find your objection to be so much more unreasonable than some other people in this thread. The first year my former MIL was convinced I would be judged for using the hotel, as though I couldn't control my drinking. She couldn't comprehend that the stay and the breakfast together the next day was just part of the party and pretty much everyone stayed.
What I think your mistake was that you went right into accusatory mode (don't pretend you didn't) instead of trying to be included in her plans. There is no reason that you shouldn't be allowed in the hotel room, and if you had said “That sounds great. Since it's your birthday, how about I go to the hotel room with you, and when the party is over we can pop a bottle of champagne and celebrate your birthday too,” it would have put you in a position to either confirm or alleviate your fears without you having told her you basically don't trust her. Now if you suggest it, and she says no, it's could very well be that she says no just because she sees it as a ploy to keep tabs on her because you don't trust her, and not the romantic suggestion it would have been if you hadn't gone into accusation mode right away.
Those are red flags for sure. You definitely need to have a naked conversation about the debt and parents moving in and go from there.