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He is on MULTIPLE dating apps He is F—KING women that he meets on these dating apps And you guys are in a LDR
Miss girllllllllllll make it make sense. WHY ARE YOU WITH THIS BOZO? You are literally letting him drag you in shit right now, excuse my language. He is OPENLY cheating on you and you are letting him.
What you need to do is immediately end it. Because you are worth so much more. You do not deserve to get mistreated and abused. You need to have trust and honesty in a relationship, and there is none in yours.
You DO NOT need to get closure. You DO NOT have to talk to him about ANYTHING. He has shown you through his actions that he doesn’t care. So why tf should you ?
Literally, LIKE LITERALLY—— just leave.
I KNOW it is easier said than done. Trust me. BUT just f—king do it. You are worth more ?
Good luck. ?
Well you may not have gotten the official breakup notice but basically when she's saying that she doesn't know what she wants in a relationship with you, and she's ignoring your call in favor of being with some other guy, you should just end things.
You don't know what happened last night but if she comes to you and says that the end of sleeping with him and it was okay because you guys were on a break then you really really better end this.
And next time it's okay to tell your girlfriend that if she goes to some guy's House to spend the night, the relationship is over.
I believe that once a relationship is over, an ex's life is no longer my concern.
Nobody was disrespectful to you in any way. The only person disrespected here is your ex.
I don’t think you have much of a choice but for her to leave. She’s not even sure if she wants you anymore. If she leaves, messes around and tries to come back make sure to never settle for anyone who put you on the back burner
What purpose does suddenly telling your partner you're bisexual serve if you don't plan to cheat?
I would have had a completely different convo and asked him why he chose “putting fingers in my mouth secretly in the dark while he sleeps next to me” and not let it go until he was mad me
It's weird that he goes there first and not just like a normal person says “hey watcha doing over there”
Well I’ll say tell her you want to move forward with your relationships and you would love to meet her son and make sure things are good before jumping into it and also she can meet you child and see how compatible you guys are with kids. If she agrees for you to meet her child the downside about it is that she might not want you correcting her kid because she’s protective of him but I’ll also have that discussion that she would need to compromise and see that the kid needs a father figure as well.
Or huuuuuuuh maybe he's tired regardless of alcohol
This man took a shit then ordered food. The health of your vagina is the least of his concerns.
Well, now you know why she waited to tell you.
Your mil is an idiot. She going to regret giving it all to the daughter. I really hope it ends poorly the mil is in trouble.
Unfortunately if you have a major incompatibility then move isn’t enough, there are so many things that can make you incompatible, sex, distance, timing, political views, there are so many things, if you’re incompatible love will not be enough, even when you want it to be.
Unfortunately if you have a major incompatibility then move isn’t enough, there are so many things that can make you incompatible, sex, distance, timing, political views, there are so many things, if you’re incompatible love will not be enough, even when you want it to be.
Dude, stop the “I would need this to take her back” mentality.
You just heard it here, and I’m sorry, but the feelings you built up are for the person you knew. This is the person you know now. You need to stop kidding yourself and move on… I’m sorry.
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First, please let me say I am so sorry for your loss, and the fact that you seem to have gotten NO care or compassion from your life mate. I am sending you virtual hugs ans strength.
You need to accept the fact that you are married to a very selfish and inconsiderate person. This is not going to change. In all actuality, therapy probably only helped to give him more tools to manipulate arguments so that he gets his way. That is his main concern, and the only thing he really loves. Getting his way. You are just an obstacle, without any feelings, needs or anything of value. I am sorry if this sounds harsh, but the sooner you come to terms with this, the sooner you can try and on-line a life where you can be happy.
Make a plan, and get away from him.
Abort this relationship
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You're better off dropping your BF rather than your meds. Please don't skip. He can say whatever he wants, but unless he's owning what an asshole he was it's not very “good faith”.
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Hi, yes, we have talked about it and he is aware it bothers me and he is often in another room. A special coughing pillow is an interesting idea!
Depends on where you on-line. Are you in the US?
Dump your cheater girlfriend, it's no excuse you deserve better
I’m not even reading this … it is far too early in the relationship for you to want to break up … that means you should break up, end of story.
Maybe you should talk to him?
It could be a quick bit of a story ideal, could be something he wrote to think on, could be feelings he is working through… Etc etc….
Girl if you stay with that dude you are completely insane. If he was so god damn adamant with your hair then imagine how it’s going to be in the long run. These things are what show people’s character. You better leave him.
It's understandable that you may be feeling unsure about your relationship and whether or not you want to marry your boyfriend. It's important to remember that it's okay to take your time and not feel rushed to make a decision about marriage. It's also okay to feel anxious about the topic, especially if it's something that is important to you.
Before making a decision about whether or not to end the relationship, it might be helpful to consider if these issues that you mentioned, such as a lack of serious conversations and a difference in career and academic priorities, are things that could potentially be worked on and improved upon in the relationship. It could also be helpful to have an honest conversation with your boyfriend about your feelings and concerns. This can give you both the opportunity to discuss your goals and expectations for the future, and see if there is a way to move forward together in a way that feels fulfilling and supportive for both of you.
Ultimately, the most important thing is to make sure that you are making a decision that feels right for you and aligns with your values and goals. If you do decide to end the relationship, it's important to do so in a respectful and compassionate way, and to remember that it's okay to take some time to heal and move forward.
YES.
I am also wondering if OP doesn't cave in, if he would go to the next woman with the same BS.
The most disturbing fact here is that he actually told you all of this. It's like he wants you know you're his backup. Gotta wonder what his motivation for that would be?
What would you do/ what advice would xpu give a loved one in a similar situation?
Ghost him and move on with your life.
Hi OP allow me to chime in a bit. I also did not like eating someone out at first. Didn’t appeal to me and just seemed odd. For that same reason I wouldn’t let my partners at the time go down on me. Didn’t seem fair (also cause it gives me zero pleasure). However, now I love going down on my partner. What did it for me was seeing how much more my partners enjoyed it. It was different than fingers or penetration and seeing my partner more turned on turned me on more. So I got better at it and just genuinely love it.
SO, my advice to you is maybe stop going down on him but also like.. really play up the please if you can get him to try going down on you. Basically fake it til you make it and hopefully it’ll make him more interested and he’ll strive to get better/do it more.
Communicate. Hey babe seems like you lost interest what's up? If you get some BS answer or she ghosts you you have your answer.
Block his ass.
Maybe when I was younger, but not often at all, no. This feels different because it’s not a celebrity, not even a famous porn star or anything. Just some random girl with a small account that he chose to follow and like her picture. She posts the closest thing to porn Instagram will allow. If it was Mia Khalifa or whoever is huge in the industry today I’d probably roll my eyes but keep it pushing. This is different.
This is a red flag. She seems like she is going to control every aspect of your relationship.
Before you get in too deep, break it off. Otherwise a year or two down the road youll be asking for advice on how to get your abusive and manipulating gf out of your house.
He IS a red flag. He doesn’t just have them, own the factory, and out on daily parades with his personal colorguard…. He is a red flag.
This is textbook misogyny, toxic masculinity, whatever. I’m concerned for you.
I'd share this post with her. Good communication is key. Have you explicitly told her everything written here. If not, start from there. A therapist sounds like a good idea and possibly a couples therapist together. Wishing you all the best.
Wow, you're husband is something else. Why do you think this a good relationship ?
It worries me more how immaturely he reacted to being caught, rather than getting drunk and acting like an ape. That, somehow, I can forgive easier, as an out of character miss. However, sobered up, a 32 year old grown add adult man, he should feel embarrassed, ashamed, and deeply apologetic to have exposed himself to you in this embarrassing way.
You should pick up the groceries from your mom’s house. If someone comes to your home to bring you food, it’s only polite to offer to let them in. At the same time, I can understand your wife not wanting her MIL dropping by and potentially coming inside all the time. If you want to keep accepting groceries from your mom, then you take on the burden of going to her house at a time of her choosing.
Petty? You are his mother and he is a baby.
It appears that she is an introvert and will make friends or not make friends on her own terms. All I think you can do is “be there.” Having said that, maybe you could encourage her to join a forum relative to her home country where she could perhaps find friends which she might find herself more comfortable talking to?
You are so brave to have done this, I have nothing else to say but to wish you the best going forward
I agree with everyone commenting that “leagues” are total BS. But could you clarify what her friends mean exactly? She’s too hot for you? I read your a college grad with a double major and she went to cosmetology school. If we’re going to engage in her friends’ shallow games one could argue that you’re way out of her league and should find someone smarter. Maybe that’s something to think about as she was stupid enough to be swayed into dumping you by her idiotic friends. Just based on that alone she doesn’t seem to be the brightest bulb in the pack.
You’re right, don’t wait til after a proposal. If things start to feel serious, that’s when you can tell him. I will caution you that if this guy is a porn consumer he, or a friend, may stumble upon your videos before you’ve said anything and that would be worse, in my opinion. Get it out there as soon as you see some sort of future with this guy.
So he had a count of 66+ women all before he was 20?!
I wouldn’t dream of treating her like my ex. She’s a diamond. I do feel like it’s a self esteem thing… like an insecurity.
I’m 5ft 4 so I feel like no one likes short guys. I’m slim so no muscle etc. there’s just better people out there… and the thought of her with someone else makes me sick. This is what I despise
Your soul mate is someone that doesn’t trust you AT ALL and immediately starts telling you to not bother coming home because you worked 45 minutes of overtime? Really? I think you really need to reevaluate things and figure out what you NEED in life. You want him, but if he’s going to be like that forever you certainly don’t need him and will be better off without him. You can try counseling together and try to work on it, but honestly I’d have a firm stance with him that if he doesn’t knock off his controlling distrustful shit when you’ve given him no reason not to trust you, that you’re going to leave.
I on-line in a very liberal city and this is a massive overreaction. The wife is probably more out of touch than she believes, unless the mom is highly regarded in very specific fields which seems unlikely
he raped you. yes leave. you will never trust him again, he is a rapist.
She's not a hero, but he's definitely a coward.
Yikes. He wants to be the too old guy hanging with the kids? I grew up in restaurants and worked retail for a long time but there is nothing cringier than the old dude (and when I was 17 working retail in a mall, old was like 25) hanging out with kids to feel cool again.
You don’t need his permission to dress a certain way. He’s awful.
???
We both have opinions that fall along the lines with this. Like I said, us trying to work things out is new, and we were separated for quite a while before trying again.
Not sure what this means?
6 hours isn’t bad. You can do that on a Friday night and meet in the middle and head back Sunday a couple of weekends a month.
I just stared at that M for a while. My mind was telling me 24K but my mind was seeing that M and going NO WAY. Lol
7 year marriage and there’s sexual incompatibility…
Money issues aside there is definitely more to this story than you’re letting on. Why not just divorce before starting this open marriage mess?
Omg…
It’s going to be very uncomfortable if you bring this up. And even if he agrees to change, it could be a slow process. You don’t smell like sour milk overnight. I would consider this a dealbreaker as hygiene and cleanliness are very important to me.
I am very curious about the state of his place. Even if it is clean and tidy, the stench is still entrenched on his person and car. Do you really want to show someone how not to smell like sour milk? That’s so extreme.
If you have the patience, I’d sit down and talk to him.
hey, I want to bring something sensitive up to you. I debated telling you, but I think it’s important for you to know. I am telling you because I see a future together and this could hold us back. I am not saying this to hurt your feelings or embarrass you.
I would be kind, but blunt: I noticed that your car smells like sour milk, and it’s really hot to tolerate this scent. I also noticed it lingers on you and that makes it hot to be more physical.
Does he shower regularly – and actually wash his junk and butthole? Does he brush his teeth? Does he wash his clothes regularly? What about his sheets? Be prepared to hold his hand…
Hmm okay. That’s the general answer I’ve been getting. Some of the comments get deleted but I see the notifications. But, I probably don’t compliment her enough. She’s awesome. I never feel unloved around her even though we aren’t having sex. I don’t know why it wasn’t so obvious and other ppl had to say it. But, I’ll definitely try to be more mindful of how I treated her before and now. Maybe I’m just too comfortable
When the power dynamic disparity is as large as a 17 year old with a 24 year old, it's grooming.
17 years old, you're concerned with graduating, what college to go to, etc.
25 you're long gone with college if you went, a couple years deep into a career, concerned with rent, mortgage, car payments, and utilities.
It's grooming.
Yea I mean. I personally do think this is the “best” answer in terms of doing the most pure thing. Obviously its alot harder and will end up with tears and anguish, but I guess I would have already decided to tell her if I had the strength? But I don’t know, I got some advice from people in my family and close friends and majority are saying to not tell her. Some things are just best left forgiven and forgotten about. The impact this would have on her seems like a steep price to pay for honesty.
I was originally going to tell her but people have been feeding me this alternative that seems more common than not.
Don't say anything. Let her leave. Welcome her back home with a binder of divorce papers.
She said when he was single in the past he ordered.
You may have a history of friendship with this woman, but it seems the relationship has run its course and she has made it pretty clear that she no longer values you enough to put in any effort. Let her go
1) She’s paying the bills while you only work part-time and YOU KICKED HER OUT OF HER BEDROOM while you’re all cozy in yours?! TF, lady?! 2) It’s NOT your daughter’s job to sacrifice her lifestyle because if “family”. Your sister and kids can go to a homeless shelter (that’s what they’re there for). 3) YTA, you moocher!
Both my husband and I are children of hoarders…we are not hoarders. My situation was DRASTICALLY different from his, and I did not meet his dad until after we were married as they didn't have a great relationship due to drug use. However my God his house was sad just sad. Stacked to the gills with stuff cockroaches and bugs everywhere, it was awful. My parents weren't as bad they were “clean” hoarders had 2 rooms they hoarded in that you could barely get in and had to crawl all over stuff.
Red flag. You should be allowed to have male friends. I'd say break it off with your fiancee.
i know and i was so certain about not getting back but i miss him, idk i am just sad. its been over a month but i cannot get used to him not being in my life
When he's barely present now, how will he treat his kids?
I'd easily walk away from this one.
If he can't cum with you it would be the porn. However if he's actually looking at minors that's a different thing but he could also just be fantasising, its not illegal unril he does something. Talk to him and see what's up.
You make each day as special as possible.
You find friends and family who can help you share your wife’s life with your children, so that the memories are kept as alive as possible
Get your wife to record messages for them, write them letters.
And therapy, start now, find a therapist who specialises in grief, you need an outlet to be able to function.
Oh is she cheating maybe?
Enjoy your life. You never know what tomorrow will bring. Maybe he has had to work really hot for his muscles.
You know how they say that relationships take work? That's true… later in the relationship. This early into things, you should be going to bed and waking up smiling when you think about this guy that you're falling for. And from what you've described, this relationship is going to require a lot of work from the get-go.
I don't know. It's just not my idea for how a new relationship should be in the first place. But you know the situation better than I do. If you think that you can quickly get to a place where everything is good and stress free, go for it. If not, don't stress yourself out thinking too much and trying too hot. Cut your losses and move on. It's your call, and I'm just an internet stranger who doesn't know what the hell he's talking about 🙂
Omg. She is one huge mental mess with a ton of waving red flags. Is this something you really want to deal with forever?
Be true to yourself. No one will take care of you if you don't take care of you. Especially her. I think she's busy taking care of her. Which is fine if you have a strong sense of self to match. I don't agree to anything you're not comfortable with. You don't want. there are other fish in the sea. You can still be friends as well.
It's hot to find anyone for a romantic relationship on dating apps. If I'm just horny and looking for a hookup, sure, but I prefer affection, emotions, feelings
Kick her out, and you'll se how much better your life will be without her
Huh? What an odd comment to make honestly. Your his girlfriend and she's his mom. The kind of love is entirely different. Maybe hes had an ex that was picky about that sort of thing or the conversation came up somehow? That really seems out of left field lol. I honestly wouldn't know how to respond either, but I don't think it's offensive…I would just be confused as hell if someone said that to me. It's fine if family is a priority for him or whatever, I'm assuming you're not expecting him to love you in the same way he loves his mom. If things end up getting more serious and he's constantly prioritizing her over your relationship then I would be more worried. At this point is just like…what?
Oh so you are helping her from a place of love…. You care about her so much…
I dare you to show her this post. How do you think you saying these things about her and the other woman will make her feel?
Do you think she will see you as some great guy who cares about her?