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I have an ex who made a tinder with a random females picture to ‘see’ how it was on a dating site for girls. So yeah, definitely possible it’s a catfish
Sounds like a really good time to find a therapist and talk through what you want from the rest of your life.
Your reasons for being dissatisfied with her are, in my opinion, pretty silly. She doesn’t need hobbies for you to go have a full life outside your relationship. There’s no reason you can’t play sports, have friends, join a community band, whatever, while she’s a content homebody. Alternatively, find an activity you can occasionally do together to try to expand your social circle.
And just because she’s not really into doing things doesn’t mean she won’t be happy to sign your kid up for soccer, tuba, robotics club. Have you talked about what sort of social activities she thinks a kid should be sent to?
Seems stupid unless you are bi and he’s had some concerns with you 2 hanging in the past but like another commenter said, he could just be using this as an excuse to hold this over your head in the future (maybe even to cheat himself).
Don’t say you don’t want to date someone with kids. Just be gentle and tell her your lifestyles aren’t compatible at the moment. And that is a large age gap for any couple and she knows that. You are at different stages in your life. And as someone else suggested, say what you wish your exes had said to you.
Please tell me this is a troll post?
When my boyfriend was sick we binged watched a bunch of movies together, if you both have computers you can stream something and have discord running so you can both hit play at the same time and watch the movie together?
If you have some art supplies in your room right now, my understanding is that Covid doesn’t transmit on surfaces with any success so you could make up a cute card or decorations, or even a little Christmas morning scavenger hunt that ends in her finding the ingredients to make hot chocolate hidden somewhere, something like that where you can sneak out and set it up at night while she’s asleep.
Hope you feel better soon, and be careful of the post-Covid exhaustion, it is crazy!! Merry Christmas 🙂
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It all depends! How long was your relationship with ex? If it was for 10 years, then he is a moron. And if you broke up after say 4 months, then there is nothing wrong in having sex with her
I’m still curious, if you could share tour relationship years!
Hope you feel better and get over this! Hugs from canafa
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Bangnanny actually.
Wonder if he got divorced for banging the last nanny.
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Because he’s a pedophile and preyed on a young teen with self esteem issues.
In addition to questioning why you’re going for older women, I’m also question why you’re going for 18 year olds. I’m 18, and I’m friends with plenty of 21 and 22 year olds and they’re all much too old for me to date them. So why is it that you feel that you would be compatible with an 18 year old?
If you’re going to tell me that it’s legal so I shouldn’t care, shut the fuck up. I don’t care about the legality, I care about the morality. There’s a difference.
It might be time to put her in a Nursing Home, unfortunately.
Same. I would absolutely not like that at all.
Both are very weird, but especially the grooming the 15 year old part.
Thank you mr panda. That’s great advice and that’s already what part of my brain was thinking. However logic has already left my brain and I think I will pursue a toxic relationship with this Latina woman. I hope to hear from you when I post my problems again in 3 months.
Don't let her parents dictate anything in your relationship. If you let them do his now, you will be screwed.
I'll tell you the advice that I've seen here, it may be helpful: You can't pour from an empty cup. Prioritize your happiness. If your marriage isn't serving you anymore, and your partner isn't carrying their weight, it's time to move on.
I understand that you are an adult woman. Free to make your own choices. I have to question why a man of his years would date someone so many years his junior. There is typically only one answer to that and it aint good
I totally agree! And that's part of my concern, I don't want to make him feel like he has to wait around on me. If he chooses to, that's his own decision, but I don't want to put him under any pressure.
I think if she cared about you – the person – she would listen to what you said about money and stress and would then act in a way that doesn't burden you more.
It seems like she doesn't care about you as an individual but cares about you in the role of her boyfriend.
Basically, she is more concerned about the role you play in her life than you as actual person worth real feelings and emotions. To paraphrase Lizzo: she is treating your ass as an accessory.
Self-evidently not.
Not necessarily. My MIL was like that, but 4 years at college changed that and when we married he did stuff around the house, much to her dismay – lol
No, you need to leave him and then write to her thanking her for opening your eyes to his abuse.
I a had an abusive ex, I left multiple times, every time he would come crawling back, apologizing, saying he will change, how he can't on-line without me and how it's hurting him when I'm gone (always being the victim at the end because evil me didn't want to stay and work through our problems (aka accept his abuse willingly).
The last time I went back I told him it was his last chance, he went right back to his old ways in less than 2 days. I left again. When he started with his apologies I also contacted 2 of his exes. They basically told me he hadn't changed in 15 years, and that's when I realized he will never change, just get worse by some of what I heard.
Needless to say, his apologies and begging were useless after that.
So yeah, basically if I didn't talk to them, I would probably still be trying to change him, be dead, or in jail for murder by now
Still doesn’t make any damn sense but cool ??
First off- is it 24M or 35M? Secondly, that dog is suffering. If you’re not strong enough to leave, give the dog to a proper home.
Please leave your boyfriend over your dog. You 100% should break up with your boyfriend because he does like your dog.
More than anything else you are incompatible to the core. You're the kind of person who allows and wants your dog to sleep with you. The idea of sleeping with a Golden Retriever would send him spiralling I imagine.
I know for a fact if you differ on this, you differ on more important things. You've started confining your dog to please this guy, despite it being against your better judgement.
This isn't the kind of person you want to make milestones with, since they'll only ever be on his terms.
She asked. Don't asked to be rated if you don't want to hear it if it's not 11 out of 10.
I only read one paragraph. This dude is fucking nuts and you need to run
Excuse me. I was going to defend him just from the title but i wouldn’t want him in my life if I were you
Damn, he was more affectionate towards a girl he barely knows instead of towards his actual girlfriend… I’d dump him
You can't make someone feel curious or adventuresome if that's not who they are. Maybe he's not that great a partner for you.
Overall does not seem like a good match. I find her sexism concerning- she thinks your love of food would affect a future daughter…but not a son?
As a woman who had an ED as a child until early adulthood it most certainly did not come from a parent’s love of food, in fact the opposite. My mother hated her own body and was always on a diet, so once I started getting chubby in 4th grade I was doing weight watchers and Sweating to the Oldies right along side her. Her self hatred absolutely impacted my personal body image.
Porn addiction is exactly why my friends ex went down this route.
In this situation I don’t think telling him it’s okay to continue watching porn is a good idea. It sounds like he has a porn addiction. If he doesn’t, he’s emotionally cheating on his wife. I think it’s a good time to tell him enough porn for now, we need to fix our relationship and we need counseling. He needs to be focusing on making his wife feel loved and wanted again, not porn.
And let me be clear I’m not saying anything about not watching porn or it being bad. I’m saying it’s bad for OP’s situation right now.
fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Move on.
What about what's best for your wife and your four other children? You say a lot here about what you don't want to upset your son with. But how about trying to salvage your marriage by offering her a compromise?
Throughout your posts your bending over backwards for this thirteen year old child, you don't know. Yet everytime someone suggests a compromise for you to make for your wife and four children you ignore it. Or say it will affect your son.
Your son can receive therapy to get over his fear of flying. If it takes a couple of days to drive to visit his grandmother you could turn it into a boys road trip.
If I didn’t have kids (and didn’t live! in a state with stupid grandparent rights laws), I would’ve cut my mom off 6-7 years ago. My dad’s basically a ghost now, haven’t heard from him in months.
It’s okay to cut them off. You’ve got this.
You either tell him or break up.
In a normal situation I’d say it’s completely up to you, but this ‘client’ of yours is likely to find a way to tell your BF, and finding out from him will end your relationship, and also likely ensure that you have 2 people who will make sure your family and friends find out.
What would I say?
What would I say?
What would I say?
Thank you! Really appreciate it
I am afraid of a future consisting of empty promises, deflecting, ignoring problems and being let down.
But that's what you'll get with him. Change is naked, ending relationships is naked, but you know what's harder? Living a life with someone addicted to… everything?
He isn’t even willing to set boundaries with his mom
Neither of you are ready to get married
Since when does someone expect their ex's parents to check up on them when they were only dating for a year?
Effort requires both planning save execution. He doesn’t seem motivated to what you want.
This is more about your poor choice of choosing him than his problem. This behaviour is apparent within 6 months. After that, it’s just you wishing and complaining.
It’s like wishing someone would go to the gym when it’s apparent they never want it and never will.
Stop worrying about it. You can on-line your life without every thought and action being open to interpretation by your partner.
Everyone in the comments will tell you to immediately leave him but when you are spiraling & alone none of these people will be there to patch you up. It’s ridiculous really.
Relationships are work. They are sometimes tough with challenges here & there. You guys are 5 months in which is still fresh. You can communicate that what he said was harmful & there’s a better way to speak to you. If his behavior & communication is unchanged plan for a swift exit.
Anorgasmia is a side effect of some SSRIs- if it is disturbing you deeply & messing with your quality of life please communicate this to your provider. They can find an alternative drug.
Ya never know lol. No disrespect either way.
Was he a manager? Or a colleague?
Trying to figure out what specifically it is about him that is coming off badly to your parents.
Opinions change I think, kind of like how some people want kids or don't want kids changing. I've never wanted kids, but previously it was “if the other person wants them, I'd consider it”, so it could be one of those situations. I'm more honest with myself now and got a vasectomy, but vasectomies are a good example of people changing their mind. Most people regret them when they get older I guess, so I'll get back to you in 10 years if my decision to get snipped makes me resent myself lol.
In all seriousness though, I think you should make a journal to ramble about things and your day. If things have bothered you or really suck or were great, write it down and reflect. It's really helpful, especially if you write it on a pen and paper imo. And, in conclusion, I think if that undeniable feeling of true love is not in your heart, you should reconsider and plan your next move. No matter what happens, you got this!