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First off, take the time she’s away to quit vaping. When she returns tell her that if she wishes to continue to vape she can’t do it in front of you or in the house. You can’t really tell her to quit but you can create some boundaries so that you don’t relapse. When she sees you are serious to quit, if she really wants to quit she will make efforts towards quitting. But she has to WANT to quit, you telling her to, will not do it. Hopefully you both will quit and figure out that messing with addictive drugs isn’t something smart people do.
Also, when she returns, start going to counseling to learn how to communicate better. You should have figured out a while ago that she really doesn’t want to quit and that’s why she’s passive aggressive about it.