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You don’t buy a house with a boyfriend or girlfriend. For those that didn’t hear me the first time, YOU DON’T BUY A HOUSE WITH A BOYFRIEND OR GIRLFRIEND! As a matter of fact, you don’t make any major purchase with anyone other than a spouse. To put it simply, it’s a stupid decision that will only end up causing more trouble for you in the future. No if’s and’s or but’s, when you’re not legally committed to someone in a partnership, you don’t enter into a legally binding contract with them for anything! Don’t co-own, co-sign, co-hort or co-anything aside from maybe co-habitate but, that’s the limit. You dodged a bullet and you just don’t realize it yet.
I'm staying because I can't imagine my life without him. He's been with me through my hardships and sometimes he does show that he cares. Yeah, love isn't something I feel to often and sex is me getting him off and hoping I get something in return. I usually get something reciprocated once every 6/7 times. I know this guy is manipulative, but I am stuck in afucking cycle and I'm trying to keep my head above the water. It i the same guy. I just feel like I am the problem sometimes even if I can't pinpoint exactly why. He acts like an actual child and threatened to leave and go on-line with his sister again (who kicked him out) because “at least she takes care of him” I want to leave, but I think I convince myself I love him everyday because I love the life I've built with him. Our friends, shared job, our apartment, his cousin/my roomate is my best friend. I dunno. I can't go back home and I can't afford a new apartment.
She could get a work visa in the US? Many companies supply
please put this device on your father & put it all full blast. highest setting. don’t hold back
It’s funny because it seems the little girl has more sense than OP
Or as his ex-wife called it, “An autopsy of their marriage”
Sounds like a mix of anxiety due to the fear of a potential breakup since your last was so bad and not being 100% over your ex (guilt of starting a new relationship).
Lauren stop talking about me via reddit.
Thr only tims in 2 years I haven't seen my gf in more than 2 weeks was this past month because of covid. And even then I still visited to drop supplies.
It sucks to say byt you're not dealing with how to get your bf back. You're dealing with the aftermath of a break up. Even when mad it should never take this long to reconcile otherwise there are underlying issues in the relationship gone unaddressed. It's a cold realization.
It’s really hard .. coming from a person who’s best friend hates her boyfriend. This is very relatable to me and like you, I confided in some very hot times we had which made my best friend hate my bf.
I manage both relationships separately and they only ever see each other at big gatherings where they will be pleasant but won’t make an effort. It’s not ideal but it works for now.
What I plan on doing and my advice to you would be to fully explain to daisy why you’ve made your decision and how difficult she is making your day to day life being this way. I would also explain to your boyfriend how daisy feels so he understands what you’re going through. Ultimately, if daisy is the best friend you want, the least she can do is be respectful and stop actively saying she hates him.
Insightful on both counts haha
The thing is she won’t tell me what she wants she expects me to learn on my own which seems unfair
You’re in a shitty situation bro but it’s totally fucking normal. You’re already know this but you’re gf isn the one for u. Period. End of of story. Full stop. Do right by her and it end it. U got with her when u had no other options. U got options. It’s shitty but that’s life. That feeling isn’t going to go away.
Maybe he should wash his ass if he can't handle the consequence of no sex?!
Nah he is just waiting for you to back down. Tell him no, he agreed honesty and full disclosure so if he wants to keep his access then he needs to respect the boundaries. But he doesn't. So just let him go and find a new situationship or real relationship. He's 10 years older than you and immature af.
Literally just go home. Your home with your cat with your own problems. Be free. He/they will figure it out. Not your problem. Fellow introvert here.
If you are not getting what you need out a relationship then yes you should end it.
My thoughts exactly. Brother tried something, and knowing that OP and the cousin are extremely close, that the cousin would certainly tell OP the next day. Therefore, he tries to get ahead of the cousin and put himself in the victim position and have the better looking story before the cousin has a chance to say anything to OP. And this might be the even likelier situation because of the desperate tone of the brother, like he’s trying to be the first to get his story on the record
Assuming this is true and not just you trolling, you’re not the victim. His wife and kids are. You blackmailed him, which is a criminal act. You then tried to ruin his life more after he decided to be truthful to his family. Leave him and his family alone. You fucked around and found out.
Women want you to listen, not problem-solve.
Maybe it would help you both if you asked “Am I listening or am I helping for this one?”
I'm not kidding.
Let Mitch and Nora have their moment. Don’t hijack it and make it about you.
We’ve been together for 11 months.
You need to talk to your fiancée and be honest with her on all you have written here. Break up if she will not change.
Co worker appear nice and sweet as you hv not lived with her. You're at this phase where you'll only get to see the nice side if her.
Not a good idea to date her while you are working together and you are her manager. Unless you feel career be damned, you're willing to restart from the bottom rung for her.
Updateme!
I gave you very helpful advice, but you’re insistent that you haven’t done anything wrong.
My girlfriend doesn’t let me hang out with other people so I’ve lost contact with people I knew at university, school etc.
This is control, this is a way to isolate you. She has been traumatized, didn't work on that, so she will repeat what she experienced.
That's not the person you will be proud of. She will make your life miserable. Maybe your brother being disabled made you take this role of savior, but you need to find someone who lets you be you.
Because I get more information out of people dude, it works anyway.
Sounds like someone caused a few issues and ran away from them!
You’re absolutely correct on this. My son’s mother (my 2nd wife) tried to contact my 1st wife with the intention of (in her mind) gaining an ally against me during the divorce proceedings. My 1st wife, whom I hadn’t communicated with in years, called me hysterically and cussed me out, demanding that I tell the estranged wife to, under NO circumstances, try to contact her again! She was traumatized by the experience. The estranged wife even laughed at her for being so defensive and being mad at her for contacting her. Just totally disrespectful. OP has nothing to do with that situation at all. IF he has a criminal history, there are plenty of avenues to gather that information. Leave the ex alone.
If he has conveyed that this is something he wanted to do for himself then it’s be duh much not thoughtful
Personally, this would be a non starter for me. If it isn't for you, it's best to lay down hard boundaries now, otherwise it'll get much worse. The last person that tried that with with my son and my co-parenting relationship with my son's mom is now an ex, because that was merely a symptom of bigger problems that came later.
It definitely could’ve been the case. Everybody was drunk and having a good time so I think in the instances we isolated ourselves from the party (we left a couple times just to get air, smoke, etc) if there was a communication from him, it really would’ve registered. Thank you for seeing me!
He is right, I suffered a lot during my childhood because my mom was single mom and always renting. When she lost the job we ended up living with my sister in a tiny room with her.
Shit happens he wants to be prepared but still he is acting like an asshole.
You being able to financially provide for your baby and using your maternity leave to the fullest are the two most important thing. Yes, his mental health is more important, but new baby triumphs all.
You need to have a discussion with him, call as soon as you can; emphasize that he needs to have another job lined up before leaving and that he needs to put in a proper two weeks and leave amicably.
This.
And especially with a cat that scratches all the furniture. You would be resentful and regretting the decision
For me it would be very simple: Either you tell me how much space you need and I can decide if I am willing to accept or not, or I break up and tell her to take all her things to the streets where she can have all the space she wants.
He doesn’t love you
Is it forgivable? Maybe. Are you obligated to forgive him? Absolutely not.
He lied straight to your face and to make it worse, knowing you're carrying his child.
I’ve expressed how I feel about receiving small gifts many times in the past which is why I start feeling like I’m nagging. I can’t help but feel like he doesn’t care about my love language
You need to be single and sort out your trauma before getting into another relationship.
Being in a relationship while you are not in the right place yet is like walking with a broken leg and thinking the exercise is good fo the leg to heal faster, when it's actually going to take longer and probably be skew at the end
Do not return the bracelet. Your wife is making your loss and grief about her and that's not how relationships should work.
Me doing things without her is definitely a struggle for her. We’ve openly talked about that but she tries her best to give me space. I’m just worried that if we get married, she’ll just quit trying to give me that space become more controlling.
Talk to her. Some people would find that hilarious – some really not. Assuming you told her in a fairly neutral tone you need to also discuss how you handle arguments. To each their own but I would not stay with someone who gets so mad and stays so mad after such a minor 'argument'.
You can do literally ✨ nothing ✨ It is her body and she is free to do what she wants with it. If it is a dealbreaker for you then that’s fine – you can break up. However don’t try and control what she does with her own body…
We were in bed and in a certain position I felt like I was going to pee it was so intense and I ran to the bathroom and to my surprise I didn’t have to pee. He was like “ did you think you were gonna pee” I said “UMYEAH” he was like “you’re a squirter” we laid towels down and “experimented”. We tried more but the feeling was there but not as intense as it was in the moment. He was like “my baby’s a squirter” I was like “uh no” I can’t do it.
Is she stressed out or depressed? Something impacting her hormones? Is she on birth control?
All those things (and more) can affect sex drive.
He even said I'd I just acted like everything is fine everything would be
That’s not how feelings work. That’s actually toxic positivity and invalidating. Can being supportive enable bad behavior, sure, if he’s being supportive of unhealthy behavior, like if you’re drinking too much and he says it’s okay or if you’re venting to him constantly but never addressing your problems. But that doesn’t sound like the case here. It sounds like you’re getting help, and you want him to give you some support about how you feel. And that’s a rather normal thing to want. If he can’t manage to do that, or if ne doesn’t want to do that fine, but you’re not wrong for wanting it. He’s just not the guy for you, and with that attitude, he’s not a great catch either. Let this one go and focus on yourself.
He’s been following Leo di Caprio. Expect to be dumped on your 25th birthday.
Some “men” value a woman by her physical looks and age above anything else. Their brains and personality dont matter.
He is one of them. He is a shallow arse.
He’s been following Leo di Caprio. Expect to be dumped on your 25th birthday.
Some “men” value a woman by her physical looks and age above anything else. Their brains and personality dont matter.
He is one of them. He is a shallow arse.
should I do all this effort for someone who couldn't even get me muffins
Nope, you should not. Only continue to give and support those who express appreciation for it or reciprocate. If you keep doing it with out that, you’re just teaching them to think they’re entitled to it.
And FYI, his excuses, all classic defensive tactics. Google defensiveness in relationships for more info if you’re not yet familiar. And break up with this guy. People are the nicest in the beginning, if it’s this bad in the beginning, you’re in for a bumpy ride if you stay for when the honeymoon stage is over.
You can never compromise on children. If both of you are enthusiastically wanting children – have them. If one of you has doubts – don't.
Wake up, she is beating you down. Whether she's doing it intentionally or unconsciously because of her mental health is irrelevant. She needs more help than you can provide, and if you stick around in this spiral that you all have going on, your mental health is going to decline. You need to step back now and you need to work on the harm that it's already causing you. If she gets her shit together and if she gets her mental health problems under control and if she can keep that from spiraling again for over a year after she gets herself well then you can rethink the whole dating policy but until then I would put a kibosh on all of this.
As I've said before to friends and loved ones, if your partner threatens self harm in response to you, you're no longer in a relationship, you're in a hostage situation. They are threatening to harm themselves to hurt you, and you need to remove yourself from that situation before they can do damage to both themselves and you. You need to protect yourself.
Stop venting your family issues to him, he probably tired of hearing it. If you cut the toxic people out of your life, there wouldn’t be that much venting or having the risk of being drawn into that drama. Family is family, but there needs to be boundaries. And sometimes blood dont mean family, it just means you’re connected thru DNA.
if it's not an enthusiastic yes it's a no
I didn't drink the whole ten pack. The original plan was to stay the night round her mates house. We cut it short because of the incidents of the night
Have you told him to stop and that you don’t like his jokes?
It’s alright for you to have different boundaries than your friends. Especially since it seems like he’s targeting you
That too, but the dad instigated it. Couples trip and fall and get back up. This sounds like it was a pretty significant moment for then and so yes what you say is true so let’s hope husband learns from this so they communicate next time before the possible end of the family over a misunderstanding occurs. He made some pretty big mistakes in this situation that should never be repeated.
I'm a woman and a porn user. The “Teen” category is very easy to avoid. I've never just stumbled in to it. On sites like prnhub etc, everything is very clearly labelled. So he'd have to have gone through a couple of steps to deliberately access teen porn. Just as he could have gone through a couple of steps to access any other kind of porn.
It's ridiculous that anyone is trying to label this as a mistake.
It was deliberate, and anyone who deliberately accesses porn featuring people who look like my teen daughter is not allowed around my teen daughter.
Children come first. Amanda is a grown woman starting a family of her own. OP’s priority needs to be with his new baby and his new wife.
You don't owe him anything. Not even an audience for his anger. Sure, he did things for you as a child because HE IS YOUR PARENT. That is what parents do. It is the bare minimum. It is extremely unhealthy to expect your child to pay you back for doing your job as a parent. It wasn't like you took out a loan from him.
The fact that he is trying to manipulate you by threatening to go crazy if you stop talking to him is also disgusting. It's not your job to keep him stable.
She has mental problems and thinks other dicks are worth to try over your 5 year relationship.
Let her go and don't look back. You can find girls without problems like this and need of tasting someone's else dick.
She slapped a toddler in the face. Of course that was abuse. What the fuck is wrong with you? And your parents didn’t exactly do a bang up job—you’re an 18 year old with a 2 year old.
You're just wrong, homes. You're being way too hard on the idiot pothead who has every chance of growing up and doing the right thing, and you're also attempting to justify your personal sexism by portraying your misogynistic stance as “harsh reality,” when it's really just one of a billion hypothetical scenarios of how this could play out, and no more valid than any other.
You can repeat the phrase “reality of life” as many times as you like, it won't magically transform your pessimism and sexism into fact. You have some introspection to do my friend, because the way you are choosing to frame this issue betrays some views that are deeply harmful, not only others, but to yourself. It was nice talking to you. Thanks for keeping me awake for the last hour of nightshift.
hm. Well, regardless of the downvotes, i don't think someone gets a pass to be asked point blank or to offer an unqualified answer about their past which they know to be untruthful, and then decide some time later to tell you the truth.
Sure people get harassed and dumped for being honest. Address the harassment then, don't justify lying.
i think this a starting point for you to look into why this happened and whether you can on-line with the answers
You may want want to find out if they have sister code.
What? You don't understand that he can't be a man without male hormones? You are literally asking him to stay a girl to make you and his grandparents feel better. How do you not understand that you are hurting him by basically lying when you say you support him. It's NOT a masculine IDENTITY as if it's a lifestyle choice (often used against gays as well). There is only one way to feel and become a man, and that's with male hormones.
What you want him to do is dress and call himself a man while still being female in every way except externally clothing and haircut. He's supposed to have female hormones, sex and periods while you get to pretend nothing has changed. You are not only YTA. You have doubled and tripled down in this thread that he doesn't need to transition if he's simply acknowledged as a boy by you. That should be enough, and all of the “transition nonsense” can be swept under the rug, so YOU feel better. He can rightly pretend to be a girl around his grandparents so they aren't mad anymore. He IS a male and wants his insides and outside to match. Basically, he can't be himself because you and grandparents get to decide for him. Apparently, your discomfort overrides his life. I'm sure he's going no contact ASAP.
Oh wow, thank you. That was exactly what I needed to hear. I will definitely take why you said into consideration for when me and him have another conversation about it.
Tell his wife, she will deal with it, or for a less nuclear option tell your HR.
This could absolutely impact his health if she did porn bareback and hasn’t been tested.
Especially within a few years.
Oh Honey, I'm so sorry you're going through this. Please know you're not alone.
It sounds like your marriage, and whole relationship, has been one-sided with you doing all the work and him just basking in his own glory. Now, when I say “work”, I'm not just talking about housework; I'm talking about always putting him first before yourself, worrying more about his mental health and stability more than you worry about your own, and seeming to have the belief deep-down inside that you are supposed to be subservient to him. None of these things happen in healthy, happy marriages – unless you are living in the 1950s.
I also have to question his motivation for even marrying you in the first place. You said “We were going to wait longer but we had to get married to get him a visa to on-line with me while I attended my dream school”. That right there was his reason to marry you. And then when he said he wanted a divorce, he realized that he would lose his visa if he did not stay married to you for 2 years. So he cried, said he was sorry, begged you to take him back, and now he'll wait the extra year before again announcing he wants a divorce.
Please, get into therapy for yourself. He's a big boy, he can find his own therapist without your help. It sounds like you are being used, and you deserve so much more than that. Also, see a lawyer and see what your options are in terms of ending the marriage. If you can prove that him marrying you was just for the visa, then that's fraud and you might be able to get an annulment instead of a divorce. But only a lawyer can tell you whether or not that's possible.
I know you're hurting right now, but I promise you – it will not always hurt this much. You will heal, but it will take time. As for the trust? I could never trust someone who deliberately hurt me that deeply ever again.
Just a little reality check here, the porn industry doesn’t have much work for women around your dads age. There are some older women who make porn but the majority of porn stars are women your age. That doesn’t mean your dad wants to have sex with you and the fact that you think watching 20 something year olds doing the devils tango says a lot about you than it does him.
You have really only responded in the other identical post to comments that agreed with you which means you don’t really want advice. It’s time to mature a little and realize not everything is nefarious or centered around you. It’s just porn.
I've done that too. Some guys are charming, and you can't help yourself.
Damn, I guess high school sweethearts that new each other from kids engaging in relationships are gross then ?
Your guess is?? You need to guess about that? Nothing. You don't do anything. This way she doesn't waste any more time with you.
Thanks so much. It means a lot and makes me feel a lot let crazy.
Yes this!
It's nice, relaxing, and doesn't take much effort or experience needed. Plus there are no expectations within this arrangement, so no stress.
It is your 100 percent your choice. You have to decide for yourself. i had an abortion when I was younger – actually the first time I ever had sex I got pregnant. I was very young – 17. No way could i have had that baby – No way could i have told my parents – I went alone and had the abortion – it was one of the hardest things I have ever done but it was the right decision for me. I also have two children now, one with special needs – I love my children – I would die for them but raising children is hard too. You need to weigh all your options abortion, adoption, or raising a child and pick the one that is the best for your situation.
She broke up with you dude. While I understand you wanna be there for her it doesn't sound like you're going for the reason of paying final respects to her step dad. This post reads as if you're just looking for a reason to get back into her life. Send flowers and leave her alone.
How would he react if you demanded that he go down on you multiple times a week, whenever you wanted it?
Making out on the dates before was also always great. But yeah we always had this “issue”
To answer your question. Hell no! Breaking up via text isn't something EVERYONE does. The relationship wasn't even a year strong so it's not a big deal, although she still should've done it in person and not been a coward, but if it had lasted a few years then a text or email to say it's over is really inappropriate.
I think we need space but not sure how
Exactly my take.
I raised my son as a single mom with zero child support.
We had a nanny/ kindergarden, later school. No MIL, no granny support.
Luckily in my country and job more than 40 hours with paid extra hours/ weekend work isn't legally allowed.
Yet still I had two hours car commute per day. Which makes it 60 hours. Not counting traffic jams, which were daily on that road.
I have done that for 4 years. I know what toll that takes. People stating, HE is at fault are really crazy, sorry.
Also: “he wasn't tired from pain meds, he was tired from video gaming”. Uhuh. Sure. A man with a slipped disc who had to go to the hospital because of his pain sure spent time video gaming when not even being able to walk straight. ?
Y