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No one is being full of themselves. I said plenty of times I’m rooting for them
I do not which is why I don’t understand why she brings that up a lot. It’s like it’s a competition for her to be better than her etc
He doesn’t want kids. You deserve to find someone who is 100% sure they want kids with you and won’t string you along till they’re ready.
honey he’s a selfish ass.
he gets off on treating you like this.
he does it bc he gets something out of it.
do not be mislead.
likely, it’s control of some sort.
… truth is: he’s incapable of empathy
start reading about and understanding narcissistic traits- while actively leaving him.
don’t tell him. it’ll just be messier. (he’ll deny it and then call you a narcissist)
You two are not even close to having the same values on intimacy.
There isn’t a compromise that doesn’t involve one of you stripping your beliefs, which is not acceptable.
Unblock her and formally break up. Tell her the incompatibility in intimacy is too much, wish her well, separate your stuff and split.
It’s sad, but it’s the best you can do at this point.
Rain on their parade. Fuck it.
There is some middleground here. Throwing away every relationship at the slightest inconvenience will instill a set of habits that are very hot to get rid of and will lead to problems when you hit your later years and want that kid/marriage/longterm relationship. There's a lot of space between marrying your highschool sweetheart and having only one partner for life come hell or heaven or leaving a relationship because someone looked at you wrong or sent a slightly disrespectful text.
She tells you it is ok to nap, but then actually didn't think it was okay? She is playing mind games with you. I personally wouldn't move forward with her, I could never be with someone who says things that are in complete opposition of what they are actually thinking. Communication is one of the most important things in a relationship, and she clearly fails at that. Also, getting enough rest is one of the most important things in life and more important than sex IMO, but that is beside the point.
?
I think having sex was the wrong decision. I think if you've gone this far then just focus on coming out the other side. This woman is trying to figure out what the minimum she has to do to keep you as an option. She will constantly be trying to taper off any effort to see if she can establish a new low in terms of effort on her part.
You will be able to jog her back to putting in effort when you threaten to leave but then the subtle art of trying to slow down putting in effort will just start over.
Is that really what you want from a partner?
If the pic is of you and this girl kissing, her on your shoulders, holding hands, etc. I understand you girlfriend’s perspective. Because that is kind of shitty for her if you have a picture posted, with a girl whose clearly a fling, on a date so close to the date you became official with your girlfriend. If the picture of you and this girl is 100% platonic looking, than I think it’s bizarre and controlling that she demands you to delete it.
Sounds like a lot has happened since you made this post but I want to let you know as a fellow loss mom, I am SO proud of you for standing up for yourself.
Looking at her post history, this is kind of par for the course with the boyfriend. He's a chronic weed user who mostly wants to eat junk food and fried food, and who never exercises. After they found out about his fertility issues, he promised he'd change since chronic weed use is linked to lower sperm counts (not just a little difference, a significantly lower sperm count). Then he promptly went back on that, said he wasn't going to change and was just going to pay for in vitro. She's already on medications to help with her own fertility issues and he'd rather make her go through even more (hormones, egg harvest, etc…) because he doesn't want to cut back on weed or exercise.
She's been posting about him for a year. He struggles with depression, refuses to seek any sort of treatment, tells her she's making it worse when she brings getting treatment up. He refused to go on vacation with her last year, said she could go on her own, then promptly lashed out at her when she planned a trip on her own to see a friend. Honestly, this guy is awful and I'm worried that OP has fallen into the Sunken Cost fallacy thinking she's spent so much time on this relationship, she has to proceed, especially as she wants kids. This guy will never give her kids or marry her.
Just stay out if it, ghost him and the new gf. Problem solved.
It doesn't matter why he is doing or saying whatever, he's not in your life anymore.
These are all red flags ?Major red flags ? Don’t waste your life chasing after someone who is literally telling you and showing you who they are.
Honestly bro girls don’t just breakup with you .. what she did is Very Weird .. she had no problem proudly posting friends who didn’t have to go out they’re way to see her dance but didn’t post or acknowledge that her boyfriend drove even after having battery issues just to see her dance .. ? Don’t try to tell yourself anything other than what you see and know.. if anything she should have been trying to understand where you were coming from and just bluntly apologize .. lastly I always have this rule – If You Had Done What She Did .. How Would She React , What Would She Think or Assume ? .. Think About That And You Have The Answers You Need
I was in a similar position some years ago, all the advice was to leave. I stayed and tried to make it work. Over the weekend my relationship of 10 years ended in a fire of jealousy. We broke up for other reasons (wanting / not wanting kids) but deep down I am concerned she was unfaithful.
You probably don’t want to hear this, but I say get out of this relationship right now. For your own good. The only way to heal the relationship would be by her now being completely open with you, that means letting you see her messages all the time and always telling you where she is. That’s not a healthy relationship and realistically is unsustainable, so finish things. This isn’t about her anymore, it is about what is best for you.
Sorry for this.