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That should just be life skill #1 for all people.
We must remember: It happens to everyone – literally EVERY SINGLE HUMAN will have experienced rejection at one point in their life.
I think you are cool already! And hey, I turn 32 in about 10 days, none of that age crap ? You are still young, and have left of spark left. I think you can do whatever you want to do.
I get you are hurt but i absolutely understand why this happened. You two are married. So you would have more shares than everyone else because of that. So only one of you gets the share. And husband was told by boss to keep his mouth shut. If he didn’t he might have gotten excluded as well.
Now i do think your boss is kinda shitty. He could have told both of you and let you figure out which one is going to buy it, or sell it to you in both of your names. Or of course pick you instead. I assume he is rather misogynistic so there’s that.
But your husband did what he thought he had to.
I get you are hurt but i absolutely understand why this happened. You two are married. So you would have more shares than everyone else because of that. So only one of you gets the share. And husband was told by boss to keep his mouth shut. If he didn’t he might have gotten excluded as well.
Now i do think your boss is kinda shitty. He could have told both of you and let you figure out which one is going to buy it, or sell it to you in both of your names. Or of course pick you instead. I assume he is rather misogynistic so there’s that.
But your husband did what he thought he had to.
OP, frankly I don't think you're in a good headspace at the moment for a relationship. To me, it sounds like you are co-opting your mom and friends to be your therapists when it comes to your relationship with your bf, possibly due to your financial situation but also because you've been this reliant on their support up until this point in your life.
Your boyfriend has a right to ask you to keep your fights between just the two of you so that you BOTH can learn how to work them out and overcome whatever issues you're facing as a couple, without any outside influence. That's how adult relationships should work. It's a way of learning how to communicate with each other, which is something that EVERY couple has to learn and figure out on their own in order to keep a relationship healthy and happy. By bringing other people into your relationship issues, you have outside influences (that, despite what your comment says, are biased in your favor since they are YOUR relationships first and foremost) that are either sidestepping or influencing how you communicate your issues with your bf – so, you're not learning for yourself how to communicate with each other.
I think it's also fair of your bf to ask for some privacy from outside influences when it comes to your fights. Even if you're telling your mom/friends the good things in your relationship, you're also telling them the bad things and that might affect their relationship with your bf (especially the friends, since they are also his friends ). These people are not you and are not the ones dating your bf, so they likely will feel different in these things than you would.
I think you should take a break from your relationship with your bf and focus on yourself. Everyone has been suggesting therapy, and based on your comments you haven't been able to pursue it as much due to your financial situation. So, maybe there are some self-help books/podcasts/programs/etc. you can take time to read/listen/watch, and focus on healing on your own just yourself (without too much influence from your mom or friends as well).
OP, frankly I don't think you're in a good headspace at the moment for a relationship. To me, it sounds like you are co-opting your mom and friends to be your therapists when it comes to your relationship with your bf, possibly due to your financial situation but also because you've been this reliant on their support up until this point in your life.
Your boyfriend has a right to ask you to keep your fights between just the two of you so that you BOTH can learn how to work them out and overcome whatever issues you're facing as a couple, without any outside influence. That's how adult relationships should work. It's a way of learning how to communicate with each other, which is something that EVERY couple has to learn and figure out on their own in order to keep a relationship healthy and happy. By bringing other people into your relationship issues, you have outside influences (that, despite what your comment says, are biased in your favor since they are YOUR relationships first and foremost) that are either sidestepping or influencing how you communicate your issues with your bf – so, you're not learning for yourself how to communicate with each other.
I think it's also fair of your bf to ask for some privacy from outside influences when it comes to your fights. Even if you're telling your mom/friends the good things in your relationship, you're also telling them the bad things and that might affect their relationship with your bf (especially the friends, since they are also his friends ). These people are not you and are not the ones dating your bf, so they likely will feel different in these things than you would.
I think you should take a break from your relationship with your bf and focus on yourself. Everyone has been suggesting therapy, and based on your comments you haven't been able to pursue it as much due to your financial situation. So, maybe there are some self-help books/podcasts/programs/etc. you can take time to read/listen/watch, and focus on healing on your own just yourself (without too much influence from your mom or friends as well).
Your husband is a douchecanoe but on a related note, I have an amazing way for you to lose another 150 odd pounds….
The first step is by breaking up. You are stuck in a cycle currently and until you break that cycle it going to be tough. My brother I understand we have the exact same personalities but understand I am trying to be blunt and as realistic as possible. The last thing I want to tell another guy is that he has to go and be alone but I will be damn to just let guys get walk all over so I will always try to be as real as I can. I read so many cheating stories were the guy just won’t leave after multiple types of cheating;even lying about them being the father only for them to find out that she cheated and the child was never his. If you need someone to talk to message my on here I will respond 99% of the time but the advice you need for this situation is that you need to grab your balls and commit to the decision and don’t let her getting emotional force you to try again. Write it down on a piece of paper and read it out loud to yourself every time you have the thought of going back “ She is willing to cheat and break my heart she has already done it twice. Do I really want to go throught that everyday not knowing if she is banging someone or texting someone”
I’m sorry if it came off that way, but I just made suggestions to her.
He should have not kept things like this from you; regardless of whether or not he feared consequences or did not find it relevant.
Don't focus on what happened, focus on where to go from here. Let him know that you want to respect his decisions, but that you also want him to give you confidence that your future together will not be tainted by this issue.
His commitment to holding his word is commendable, but it gives you stress so see if there is a way that reduces it: perhaps you can set up an automatic payment that ends at a given date, perhaps he'll just donate the remainder of the money in one go, or perhaps he'll quit altogether if no solution can be found…
Either way it's not unreasonable for you to ask him to communicate to his ex that outside of the money he will cut ties altogether (if he really does despise her, but she still has an influence that might be the better solution for him as well. If it is, he will know it too)
I hope for you that a reasonable solution can be found for all of you.
why haven’t you showered in three weeks??? nasty
If he is not planning any amazing fun filled dates with day trips, museums, shows concerts, restaurants or sporting events it means he hasn’t invested himself in this relationship. In the meantime you provide cheap easy sex.
If he is not planning any amazing fun filled dates with day trips, museums, shows concerts, restaurants or sporting events it means he hasn’t invested himself in this relationship. In the meantime you provide cheap easy sex.
Given that it took so long after the scare to break things off with you, I suspect there was something going on with him that wasn't related to the negative test such as anxiety, a fear of commitment, or a lack of desire in the relationship. This means two things: either the pregnancy scare was what hurt the relationship at which point this means he doesn't have the maturity to handle a relationship as this is just part of being sexually intimate with someone. Or he was lying to you about the real reason and used the pregnancy as a cop-out exit ticket from the relationship. So either from a lack of maturity or lack of honesty, I don't think it's a good idea for you to continue talking to him or trying to save this if you are. I'm sorry this happened to you.
Given that it took so long after the scare to break things off with you, I suspect there was something going on with him that wasn't related to the negative test such as anxiety, a fear of commitment, or a lack of desire in the relationship. This means two things: either the pregnancy scare was what hurt the relationship at which point this means he doesn't have the maturity to handle a relationship as this is just part of being sexually intimate with someone. Or he was lying to you about the real reason and used the pregnancy as a cop-out exit ticket from the relationship. So either from a lack of maturity or lack of honesty, I don't think it's a good idea for you to continue talking to him or trying to save this if you are. I'm sorry this happened to you.
Given that it took so long after the scare to break things off with you, I suspect there was something going on with him that wasn't related to the negative test such as anxiety, a fear of commitment, or a lack of desire in the relationship. This means two things: either the pregnancy scare was what hurt the relationship at which point this means he doesn't have the maturity to handle a relationship as this is just part of being sexually intimate with someone. Or he was lying to you about the real reason and used the pregnancy as a cop-out exit ticket from the relationship. So either from a lack of maturity or lack of honesty, I don't think it's a good idea for you to continue talking to him or trying to save this if you are. I'm sorry this happened to you.
So, let me translate for you:
You let him know he sent the picture to you with a “who is this and why are you kissing her?”
He panics (Oh sh… that was supposed to go to . Well, no walking this back.)
Guess I need to spin this, “No, I told you on… Discord, yeah, discord that we broke up.” Now I'm not a cheater and later can tell her I miss her.
You should not rely on the pull out methos for birth control. That is not foolproof.
huh?
So this is one of the few times around this subject I will say this. But Man the fuck up. Awkward sex happens when drunk. Especially if your partner was so drunk that she passed out immediately. She could claim you assaulted her because she was intoxicated and couldn't consent.
Frankly you guys have been dating 4 years get on birth control or a diaphragm.
If you behave in person like you do on this post, I wouldn’t tell you anything because you’re like a dog with a bone and won’t let it go.
You have reason after reason why you’re route and everyone else is wrong and you deserve to know all the things and if you are worried, you snoop.
You sound insecure and super annoying. Like I’m very annoyed each time I see another one of your responses because you asked for insight and just want to argue your stance.
Let my feeling go, but stay friends with him.
This. Undue hardship should be followed up on before you really take stock of your relationship
Idk I just googled it and it said 0-13 weeks is the first trimester
maybe give it some time so that you can properly process what is happening.
i think it’s important you realize you don’t have to act now. gather the evidence, postpone a reaction.
The only answer is 3. Time to go.
That sucks, I'm sorry.
I do not work as the GM of a chain so don't know what that entails, but it seems like if he is always having to cover then perhaps he needs to hire more people.
Like I already said: him not coming home when planned and not updating you about that is a problem that can easily be solved – if he chooses to solve it. He does have the ability to communicate with you if he wanted to do that.
Sounds like he’s coming from a place of jealousy, insecurity and lite misogyny.
You should try couples and individual therapy to help you communicate if you want to try and save this relationship.
But like, he doesn’t sound like a very nice person.
It's done and she walked out on him.
Even if the other man is not really interested in her and just uses her for emotional support. She left the relationship already.
Maybe she also quit her medication. That talk about how it numbed her… mostly is the resolult of meds being not taken anymore.
S
I mean it's up to you, if you don't feel like it, he shouldn't force you in any way, or make you feel bad for bailing, and you should communicate that to him (“There are times when I don't feel like doing this for you, don't make me feel bad for it if”) or something like that.
The other thing is make sure he's actually giving you as much as you are giving him. Does he go down on you as often? Does he give you pleasure as often? Even if you have a lower drive, there are surely things he could do outside of sex that could make you happy – is he doing those? As long as both of you are happy it's fine, but it doesn't seem like you are fully happy so fight for yourself and fix this situation.
He is sabotaging you I hope you know that.
Well she’s obviously a mental case. You just wait and see..
If you want to keep your relationship with your sister (don't know why you do when what she's doing now is worse than the sleeping with your bully, but okay), then you have to take away her power to make you feel upset about it.
You need to get into therapy, and work on moving on from the bullying. You're over 20 years removed from highschool now, it truly is time that you move forward from it, and online a better life.
There's no magical solution we can give you if she won't listen when you ask her to stop, and you won't cut her off. You're gonna have to process your trauma and stop letting it affect you. That's all there is to it. And frankly, you deserve to know forward from it anyway, so win win.
You should absofuckinglutely be done with this man. Instead of ensuring your and the kids' safety he was more concerned about money, and when you (with the priorities completely in the right) refused to further endanger yourself he threatened violence. Over money he should have had fucking secured either in an actual bank or a fire proof safe His lack of planning does not constitute an emergency on yours. He's despicable. Tell him to take his money and gtf out. If it's your place, begin the formal eviction process if one is needed to remove him. If it's his place, figure out somewhere for you and kids to stay (family/friends/shelter) until you can get on your feet with your own place.
This isn't something an apology will fix, and he showed you exactly who tf he is. Don't settle for less than you and your kids deserve.
If you're referring to your relationship as a situationship then you're absolutely not in a position to get married. If he has commitment issues, you absolutely should not get married. If his family is prone to affairs and he's okay with that, I personally would break up with him.
He’s joking about being sexually attracted to you. Your low self esteem is making you question whether that’s appropriate or not, which is sad. He’s disgusting and you should get far away from him, and get therapy for your inability to identify predatory behavior. He’s not trying to make you feel good about yourself, he’s creeping on you, and you need to learn the difference for your future safety.
Thank you for this, I think you’re right in that we have built an amazing life together and it’s unfair to have my resentment and uncertainties come in and ruin it all. I just need to let go of the past and accept it for what it is and look at his actions without all my personal baggage attached.
Somehow I don’t think the guy that constantly bitches about stubbed toes and minor chores is going to get super jealous over someone else doing his work haha but who knows
This is exactly how it starts. She's married, a man at work is buying her gifts, that's inappropriate. She's allowing it thinking it's all innocent, but this work friend wants to, and will fuck OP's wife if it continues. She will eventually be upset one day, they'll go for a drink, this guy will listen and claim to understand and she'll give it up. OP needs to be communicating, helping, making her feel loved. By doing this he'll be saving her from herself. This guy claims to be her friend, bit he's just waiting for the right moment. Every man on here knows what the deal is. Anyone who believes otherwise is kidding themselves. He will fuck her, if he hasn't already…
Someone once told me “what you crave is not necessarily what you need” and that helped me a great deal.